Willing To Mingle

Eroticism – the only true form of love – requires, like lawns, constant care, a profound knowledge of nature and a great deal of patience…and intelligence as well—and tenderness, and even a very subtle sense of friendship.   A man’s virtues are unknown to boys.  
-Jose Luis de Vilallonga
THE PLEASURE SEEKER

Diary Notes and Photos, December 1987

PHOTO:  Dad’s White Ford Pinto Dec. 1987

Well, it is our first Christmas without my dad who passed away on August 29, 1987.   I think that’s why I stopped to take that photo of his car, the white Ford Pinto.   I would often see him leaving for work or coming home from work or the grocery store in that car.  Now it’s ‘just a car’ and it seems so strange to not see him washing it or driving in it.   It’s a sad feeling for me.  I miss him.  I miss seeing his smile.   And now we may sell the car to my friend, Mike Miller.   He has expressed an interest in buying it and my mom feels good about selling it to someone she knows.

PHOTO:  Mom, wearing that blouse that I like so much.  I still have the blouse as a keepsake of remembrance.

My Christmas Party is set for December 19, 1987.   I wonder who will attend.   Mom is being a great help in the preparation of food, festivities and holiday décor.   We went to WALGREENS at South Shore Center to shop for thirty or so gifts for the guests that are the first to arrive.   I don’t really expect more than thirty guests (even if I did invite about fifty).   It will be nice for everyone to leave with a gift (candy canes, a paperback book, a bottle of wine, butter cookies, BRUT cologne, an ornament, a journal/diary, a Playgirl magazine, a GQ magazine, a mini-model sports car—after all, I couldn’t afford to gift a real sports car). 

PHOTO:  The Party: Helen Armijo and Mike Elliott

My sister-in-law, Helen, arrived.  She is so helpful in party preparation.   She is pregnant with her second baby that is due in late March 1988 or early April 1988.   Mike Miller also arrived with his pal, Mike Elliott.  

PHOTO:  Mike Miller

I was excited about the gift-giving.   I wrapped each of the gifts myself.   I denoted a number on each gift and gave them out to each person as they arrived with specific instructions.
I said, “NOW, you can’t open your present until I give you the official word.”

PHOTO:  Margaret Lai

I was a little nervous about my party.  Isn’t everyone a bit nervous before the start of a party?   I kept sipping wine in order to get that ‘feel good n’ tipsy’ feeling.  I just wanted everyone to have a good time (including me).   This was my mission.   It seemed to be working every time a new person arrived.  The gift-wrapped present made it all the more festive.  

In the back of my mind I knew I would soon be jet-setting to Hawaii at the end of January 1988.   It was only a month away.  I was also ecstatic about this traveling ‘on my own’ escape.   I deserved it and felt a need to explore.   This trip is my Christmas gift to myself.

PHOTO:  Me with Margaret Lai’s son, Lance Jensen

Margaret Lai and her son were was early arrivals.   I encouraged her to bring her son, Lance, who is the same age as my niece, Ashley.   A Christmas Party really needs a  few kids around.

PHOTO:  Debbie Honcik

My dear pal, Debbie Honcik, arrived soon thereafter.   It’s so hard to believe that I’ve known Debbie for over ten years.   We met in April 1977 when we both started out as 411-Information Telephone Operators in San Leandro with Pacific Telephone.   She is now a Frame worker while I ended up transitioning to Computer Operations and Business Marketing.   Debbie and I have gone on hikes together a couple of times in the Oakland Hills.   She is the one who really introduced me to the beauty of Piedmont.   I like this hidden enclave neighborhood of Oakland.    Now that we no longer work together we fail to see each other on a regular basis.   I suppose it is not only my fault.   She could easily call me, too.   I am just so happy that she took the time to attend my party.

PHOTO:  Dennis Reno
Dennis Reno was a fellow junior high and high school classmate.   He became friendly with my brother, Tony, after graduation.   He attended the party.   He’s a good friend to Tony and Helen, so I figured it would be nice to have him there.   I’m also glad he came to celebrate the holidays.   I know he didn’t have to make an appearance.

PHOTO: Kep and his date with Mike Miller

Mike Miller had asked if his friend, Kep, could come to the party.   How could I say now?  The more the merrier is what I say.  I believe I met Kep once or twice before; however, I don’t know him very well.   Kep brought along a date, an attractive, tall brunette who seemed older than Kep.   I almost felt she had an attraction to my brother, Tony.   Maybe she was attracted to me too because she kept asking me a lot of questions about where I was from and how I knew Mike Miller and Kep, etc.   Perhaps it was just my imagination.

PHOTO:  Tony and Kep’s gal pal

Of course, nervous chills came about when my best buddy showed up.  My gym partner friend, Mark Landreth, came dressed in gray.   He brought along a date (the girl named Ivy).   She’s polite and very soft spoken.   She doesn’t say very much.   I took a few Polaroid photographs of them to break-the-ice.   Mark ended up getting the PLAYBOY magazine gift.

PHOTO:  Mark Landreth and Ivy

I liked how Mark Landreth felt a need to fold the magazine cover, so that no one would see it.   I wondered if he would go home and have an intimate time with the centerfold.   I'd be curious to see that happen.   

We spoke on the side later as I was trying to persuade him to go on the Hawaii trip with me.   He hasn’t said ‘no’ yet.  He does like the idea of going.    I can’t help but still feel a little something for him.   I kept it low key, of course.  I always do.   I doubt that ‘Poison Ivy’ had a clue of my attraction.

PHOTO:  me, mom and Brother Tony

I managed to take a photo of me, my brother Tony and mom in the living room earlier.   I felt well-suited for my Christmas party in my green corduroy pants and red paisley print shirt and olive green tie.

PHOTO:  Anne Alberti and Patty

The adorable aerobics instructor with the killer body, Anne Alberti made a fashionable entrance.   She has the perfect smile.   She was accompanied by Patty, another gym goer who dated Mark Landreth once or twice.   I think she has a crush on Mark.   She always flirts with Mark at the gym and I often tease him about it. 
Mark has made it clear to me, “She’s not my type.”
I almost wanted to ask, “Am I?”
I actually said to him once, “Yeah, you’re better off hanging out with me…it’s much more fun.”
He smiled at least.   Did he catch my drift?

PHOTO:  Patty w/PLAYGIRL magazine

It’s funny how Mark received the PLAYBOY mag gift and Patty ended up randomly receiving the PLAYGIRL mag gift.   I think Patty loved that she got it.   I was secretly hoping that she or Anne would get the PLAYGIRL.   I’d be lying if I said I didn’t thumb through the PLAYGIRL before I wrapped it; however, I wasn’t too thrilled.   Photos of me or Mark would look better. 

At the start of the party I was so snap happy with my SPECTRA SYSTEM Polaroid camera that I set the self-timer and arranged a group photo of Margaret Lai, her son Lance, Judy Geniella, Mike Elliott, and Mike Miller.  Both Margaret and Judy worked with me in the SDC-at Pacific Bell in San Francisco.   Margaret told me she didn’t like Judy.  I believe she was just jealous of my relationship with Judy.   Whatever…mind games.   I was simply happy that a number of my good coworker pals came to cheer me on during this party.

PHOTO:  Group Pic-Margaret, Lance, Judy, Mike, Mike

 Another fellow coworker, Al Martinez, stopped by with a date.   I only recall the first name of his date as ‘Sandy’.   Al always makes me laugh at work.   He’s a cool guy.   I think he has a source for supplying marijuana to select coworkers (not me).   I’ve heard this as a rumor.   It made me wonder how much extra money he made on the side.

PHOTO:  Al Martinez and ‘Sandy’

Another gym buddy, Jeff Hashem, arrived to the party.  He’s so friendly with a contagious smile.   I believe he is of Persian descent (IRAN).   He’s such a nice guy.   I like the sound of his laugh.   I was pleased that he came.   The fun thing about a party is the spontaneity and not knowing who will arrive and in what order they will arrive.   Jeff was dressed so sharp in jacket and tie.   It’s interesting to see the gym pals dressed up because I usually see them in gym ‘workout’ gear.   Jeff ended up getting the BRUT cologne gift. 
I joked, “This is meant to be because you’re such a BRUT force after all of your working-out.”
He laughed loudly, making me laugh.

PHOTO:  Jeff Hashem

Another fellow coworker from Pacific Bell, Mary McTiernan arrived.   She lives in South San Francisco.   She seemed to be flirting with my brother.   I couldn’t be sure—but Tony seemed to be enjoying himself.   Helen was around but she went upstairs to take mini-naps due to her pregnancy.

PHOTO:  Mary McTiernan and Tony

Amy Platt, the nurse from Nantucket, was a surprise turn out.   We are very on again/off again. 

 I overheard her giving her usual line, “I live in Lafayette in a guest house as a Registered Nurse/nanny but I’m originally from New York in the Hudson Valley area.”

Amy always seemed to feel an attraction for me.  I felt the same sparks but we could never reach full force.  It’s like we have unfinished business.   Who knows what the forthcoming months will bring after her appearing at this party tonight?   She seemed to like the gift she received but she didn’t stay for very long.   It’s tough when one doesn’t know too many at a party and they don’t drink enough to feel willing to mingle.    I reminisced about how Mark Landreth and I went to BAXTER’s in the San Ramon vicinity one night and we met Amy and her pal, Karen.  Mark and Karen never connected; however, Amy and I did have a cool connection.

PHOTO:  ‘me’ and Amy Platt

Another gym goer, Mark Geberhardt, made an appearance at the party.   My ‘gaydar’ at the time gave me mixed messages about him.   I wasn’t attracted to him in any way.   He always liked to take up conversation with me while I was working out though.  

PHOTO:  Mark Geberhardt

Mark’s friendly nature made me wonder.   I only asked him to come to the party earlier in the week, so it was cool that he came by.   I only wish Stuart Western could’ve come to the party.   He had said he would but there was no sign of him YET.   I like Stuart better.

The gift giving was fun as I had everyone who had not opened their gift go ahead and open their own token memento.   My sister in law, Sherri, was the recipient of the gold sports car but she didn’t seem too thrilled by it.   Oh well.   We can’t win them all.

PHOTO:  Sherri Armijo

Mike Elliott wasn’t probably too thrilled with his ornament gift but he seemed to take it in stride.   It was all in fun.   I like people who just want to have fun without mind games and pressures.

PHOTO:   Mike Elliott

While bike riding a month or so ago I met Janet Walsh.   She happened to be driving by and I managed to get her telephone number.   She attended the party with a girlfriend.   I can’t recall her friend’s name.   I just remember that she wore a ‘jeans jacket’.   Janet had this cross between a Farrah Fawcett/Cyndi Lauper haircut.   She seemed to be having a good time.   She received a compact and her pal got the historical paperback novel, CLAN OF THE CAVE BEAR by Jean M Auel.    I wonder if she’ll actually read it.

PHOTO:  Janet Walsh and her friend

Judy Geniella received a collection of miniature Asian ornaments.   “They’re so cute,” Judy exclaimed.

I guess it’s nice when one doesn’t leave empty handed at a party.   All of my guests took a gift.   I’m glad I didn’t have ten or fifteen more people show up for I would have run out of gifts.

PHOTO:  Judy Geniella

My cousin, Mandy Lucero, actually came to the party.   She was included in the final group photo with the last remaining guests.   The group photo included Sherri, Mike Elliott, Tony, Debbie, Mike Miller, Judy, Jeff, Mandy, Mark, another Debbie—whoever she was—Mary, Sandy, Al, Mom, Dennis Reno, Helen and my nieces, Ashley and Lauren.

PHOTO:   End of the Evening Group Photo

 

SPEECH IS SILVER, SILENCE IS GOLDEN - This proverb is reminding us that we shouldn’t blather on too much.   We need to SHUT UP every now and again.   That’s good advice.   But what do we do in silence?   We listen to what others are saying.   And listening is part of language too. -David Crystal 

A LITTLE BOOK OF LANGUAGE