“You’re not as complicated as you think you are.”
-as heard during the 2006 film
THE CURIOSITY OF CHANCE
The Beginnings – Part 113: THE HAUNTING PASSION
Twenty-five years ago today,
October 24, 1987
A photo of mom and I at her house (356 Magnolia Drive, Alameda, CA);
a solo shot of me at the dining table;
a solo shot of my mom on the telephone.
October 24, 1983
Monday
I did a foolish thing. What else is new? We learn as we get older (I hope). I telephoned George during my first break time while at work. I was lucky this time. Why, of course, because there was no answer.
I have been very good so far this evening. I haven’t chosen to call on him. I wonder if he has even made an attempt to call me. I wonder if he will go to the gay skating rink in San Leandro tomorrow night.
I asked myself, “What to do? Do I really care whether he goes to the rink or not?”
I know I care. That’s the problem. The longer I have been away from him the better I can cope without him. It’s been a week since I’ve seen the chap. The last time I was with him was during the Natalie Wood screening of BRAINSTORM. My brain should have woken up at that point.
While at lunch today I dropped a payment off at CAPWELL’s. I sneaked-up behind Kathy and Sue (two of the Assistant Manager’s in my office) while I was in the department store.
I said, “Stick ‘em up.”
They both smiled at me.
I ended up buying a new BART ticket at the nearest BART station.
Helen found a payroll check for $1,150 dollars. Wow! There’s not much she can do with it though.
After work I drove to MACY’s and dropped off my payment. I bought a pair of comfortable hiking boots. I also found a great pair of NIKE tennis shoes at FOOTS-A-LOT. The NIKE shoes looked very much like the pair I saw at the VALLCO Shopping Center in Sunnyvale.
I also got my hair cut. There are new girls working there now. There’s a new blond that is really cute but she has those pants that zipper over her rear end. I think that looks so sleazy. It’s as if she’s trying to invite one to unzip them. The one girl named Cheryl is nineteen years old. She is cute. Her nickname is PEBBLES. She’s the one who cut my hair.
Cheryl said, “I’m going to thin your hair out because it’s so thick.”
“Okay,” I said as if I knew what she was talking about.
“Okay,” I said as if I knew what she was talking about.
She was very nice. She was a lot more talkative than most of the others that have cut my hair in the past. I found her sweet and I believe she is worth seeing for another haircut sometime soon.
There are always little reminders of George. For instance, there’s a Grand Central Hot Tub joint next door to the hair salon. George and I had talked about having an adventure into a hot tub at some point. Time will tell...for now it's just me in the tub.
I guess my haircut looks pretty good. I am really looking forward to Friday night, so I can check-up on George at the Halloween Party in Los Gatos. If I talk to him between now and then I plan to inform him that I cannot attend due to my office party; however, I can still go ‘in costume’ and surprise the fellow. That’s if he ever calls me, of course. While at work I looked at George’s telephone bill. He’s been give over one-hundred fifty dollars in credit. He still owes me one-hundred dollars. I won’t mention it for a while. It was tough to be quite about it when he had said that he loaned Kevin three-hundred dollars. What a jerk!
There’s a movie tonight starring Jane Seymour called THE HAUNTING PASSION. It sounds like a movie I should see (given the title). I plan to watch it if I can stay awake.
I am so glad that I met Vicki Perata. When I feel down about the idea of George I realize there is someone, new and exciting who likes me. I can branch out and revisit a new network of my life. There are so many avenues to take.
When the phone rang tonight it was so startling. It was exciting. I hadn’t heard it ring in a while. I was hoping (and thinking) it might be George. It was my brother, John.
John said, “I might bring some clothes over tonight.”
“Okay…great.”
I believe George is in the middle of some fantastic business venture. He wants a car badly. I remember him saying that. He also mentioned some unknown gentleman who was going to see about having a car leased for him. I don’t know exactly what that was all about. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t taken the time to call me. It’s so very unlike him to make time for me. It’s as if there is a secret.
I forgot to mention that part of my lunch was spent talking with Dolores, my old Directory Assistance Operator coworker. We reminisced about Devonie O’Keefe, a fellow coworker.
Dolores said, “Oh my, Devonie now has two little chubby toddlers.”
I still recall dating Devonie. I was nineteen and she was twenty-three. I felt so young at the time. She looked a lot like that actress Meredith Baxter-Berney. We went to see the movie SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER together. Wow! It seems like such a long time ago. It really was…a long time ago.
To keep my mind off our circumstances, I leaned against a pillar and watched the pigeons perched in the iron girders high above our heads. Every now and then, with a noisy flapping of wings, one would sail out in a lazy circle and return to its companions; how I envied those ordinary birds, unaffected by the human stupidities taking place below.
-Paul Russell
THE UNREAL LIFE OF SERGEY NABOKOV, a novel
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