Trying To Sway

Whenever Rudolf Nureyev felt that strangers were looking at him, he immediately straightened his posture.

NUREYEV:  His Life by Diane Solway
 

PHOTO:   A Self-Portrait of me in my Honolulu Hotel Room on January 29, 1988
 

I arrived in Honolulu, Hawaii the last week of January 1988.  

I hadn’t been in Hawaii since July 1987.    I was back  for my return visit after about six months.   I knew some people there but it was ironic that I coincidentally bumped into Bill Matson on Waikiki Beach.   He goes there often.  It was difficult to read him but he was as nice as the last time I saw him.   He asked if I might want to go on a large catamaran boat cruise with him tonight, January 29, 1988.

 

“They’re really fun,” Bill said.

 “Why not?  That sounds great.”

 

I loved the YELLOW of the boat.   Bill met me there and it was as fun as he'd promised.   We both just wanted to have a good time and after a few mai tai cocktails it’s easy to mingle and just plain have fun.   

I had my polaroid camera with me and I took a couple of fun group shots.  One was taken with a couple of flirty, chubby gals.   Another was taken with a couple of elderly ladies.   They were all so much fun. 

 

I was brave when it came to the learn how to hula session.   I didn’t realize it at the time but Bill took a shot of me with my camera, trying to sway with the boat (not an easy task).   Sometimes I felt strangers were watching me but I chose not to care.   I simply stood tall and wanted to have a good time during my last night on the island.

The local Hawaiians working on the boat thought I was a local because I had such a local looking tan.    The staff was so nice.   I captured a pic with one of the local gals, too. 

PHOTO:  ‘me’ with Local Hawaiian girl

A week in a Hawaii can fly by faster than a silver bullet.   I made sure I had a good time.   I liked just resting on the beach during the daytime.    It was the thing to do.    Honolulu seemed to agree with me.   I was pondering the idea of moving to Hawaii; however, it also felt rather remote.   I was torn between the mainland and the gorgeous beaches.

The song for the week of January 26, 1988 was NEED YOU TONIGHT by INXS.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Swdbv5I6qzc

I wasn’t quite sure who I needed at night.   Sometimes sleeping alone on a soft pillow does the trick after a long, hot day in the sun.   One thing I did know was that I’d be back in Alameda the next day and ready for my usual drill at work the following week.   It was what I felt the need to do.

“Men by their nature, seemingly cannot be happy unless engaged in enterprises that make them feel useful.   They must, therefore, be returned to participation in such enterprises.” 
-Kurt Vonnegut Jr.,
PLAYER PIANO, a novel

 

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The Way You Make ME Feel

“Some people take a drink, others take a pill…I just take a few deep breaths.”

–Deborah Kerr, THE NIGHT OF THE IGUANA (movie 1964):

I found this story last year (2013) at the DRAGON HERBS store in Santa Monica, CA and kept it.  I just loved it…it’s a reminder of what we choose to focus on 'in our minds'.

TWO MONKS AND THE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
A Traditional Zen Story

An old monk and a young monk were walking through a forest when they came to a river bank and saw a beautiful young woman standing at the edge of the bank.

The woman told the monks that she was afraid to cross the river because she might slip and be carried downstream.   She asked if the monks might help her across.

Now it so happened that these two monks were members of a sect which practiced celibacy and they had both taken vows never to touch a member of the opposite sex.   But the old monk, sensing the extreme anxiety of the young woman, lifted her onto his back and carried her to the other side of the river.

The young woman thanked him and went on her way.   The two monks continued on their journey, but the young monk was shocked and disturbed at having seen his older companion break his vow so nonchalantly.   Finally, after three hours of walking and thinking, he could contain himself no longer and her burst out.

“Tell me, old man, what did it feel like to break your vow of so many years?   What did it feel like to allow sensuality to tempt you from your spiritual path?   What did it feel like to have her warm thighs wrapped around your waist, her breasts brushing against your back, her arms around your neck and her soft cheeks at one with your own?   Tell me old man, what is it like to carry such a beautiful young woman?”

The older monk remained silent for several steps and then said, “It is YOU who should tell me what it is like to carry such a beautiful young woman.   You see, I put her down three hours ago at the river, but you are still carrying her.”

PHOTO:  ECOLA BEACH Postcard from Eileen Grabinsky

I found this postcard dated January 26, 1987 from Eileen Grabinsky.    She has always made me feel something special.

She wrote:  Monday, January 26, 1987

Hello Michael Babe…

I like OREGON.  My friends are showing me the spots.   I’ve decided to move here.   See you.   Just joshin’. 
Well, Hon…see you on Saturday at 5:00.   I hope it’s not delayed at UNITED.   Bye.   Hope you are having fun.
Love, Eileen

PHOTO:  'me' with Eileen Grabinsky on March 3, 1987

On this week in of January 19, 1988 the TOP Billboard song of the week was all a tizzy over MICHAEL JACKSON and his hit song “THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzZ_urpj4As

“My problem is I love words more than the woman who inspired me to write them.”

–Jeremy Irons

THE WORDS, a movie seen on 9-11-2012

 

 

 

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A Little Bird Flew By...

YOU shouldn’t write with a broken pencil because it’s pointless.

-David Crystal,
A Little Book of Language

Twenty-six years ago today I wrote this letter to my mother…

The song of the week on January 12, 1988 was GOT MY MIND SET ON YOU by George Harrison:  

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZGYYDvZnpg

January 12, 1988

Dear Mom,

It seems a little bird flew by and told me to write you a letter.  I hope this will please you and/or make your day brighter.   I love you.

I have been thinking of dad a lot.   As time goes by it seems like memories come about and it starts to drill into my mind again that his being is no longer here.   I miss him so much.  And like I told you before, I’m not only lacking a father but a best-friend.   But then again the memories can make you feel happy because at least we shared those times, right?

In fact, just the other day I received a brochure from a movie club and hadn’t realized how many movies I’d seen with dad and you together.   There are some movies that you and he saw together too.  I want to share those memories with you now because they are all good.   In watching each movie I still remember how he felt while watching them.   How he laughed watching PORKY’S.   How he asked us questions about what was going on in BLUE VELVET.   How he got a kick out of Dustin Hoffman in TOOTSIE.   How he felt sorry and got all into the TRIP TO BOUNTIFUL story.   It was a slow-moving film but it brought him back to how he wanted to go to New Mexico to retire one day for his own return trip to bountiful near the Sangre de Cristo Mountains (near Mora, NM).   How he got so excited at the sight of his first car (the 55 Blue Ford) in the movie PEGGY SUE GOT MARRIED.   How we had to explain the plot of BODY HEAT.   How we thought we were watching a stupid movie in ENEMY MINE.  How the country flicks thrilled him like COAL MINER’S DAUGHTER.   How he got a kick out of RISKY BUSINES.   How he mellowed with interest in the movies THE GODFATHER Part I and II and SCARFACE.  How he got into ON GOLDEN POND, AGNES OF GOD and IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE.  

He got a tickle in his funny bone over PEE WEE HERMAN’S BIG ADVENTURE, too…didn’t he?   HE liked the serious side of stories like PLACES IN THE HEART and CRIMES OF THE HEART, too.   Do you remember that?   I think the key five movies were his last.   It is those that I remember best because they were the last films we saw with him…LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS:  He thought the man eating plant was funny.   And you watched STAND BY ME with him.   Do you remember you thought that the fat boy was ‘me’ when I was little (Thanks a lot—Ha-ha!).   Dad really teased you when your tears came rolling down over THE COLOR PURPLE; yet, he knew it was altogether sad himself.   And last but not least THE BEDROOM WINDOW had him so involved in such a mystery.   Oh well…I just wanted to share these few movie magic memories that I hold dear and true.    This letter is also a reminder that you are NOT alone, mom.   I miss the guy a lot.

It saddens me.   I know you’ve shared more moments alone with him and it’s hard for you sometimes, but keep in mind he did tell me one day, “Take care of mom if anything happens to me.”   Remember the time he said, “Good thing Mike likes the Mexicali Rose, so if I die at least he’ll take you there.”   (…and I will).  Sometimes Dad would ask me the most simple questions and I’d ignore them, not thinking they were important.  Now I know they are.

Enclosed are some stickers of films that I mentioned and others that I know he enjoyed.   Look at them and see if they stir any memories for you.    

Always…LOVE,
Michael Joe

Something my Dad would’ve asked:

“What did you learn today?” Rudolf Nureyev would ask Tamara Zakrzhevskaya each time they met.

-NUREYEV:  His Life by Diane Solway

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Dark Glasses

“Everything can be interpreted one way and then again interpreted in the opposite sense.  The whole of world history can be explained as development and progress and can also be seen as nothing but decadence and meaninglessness.   Isn’t there any truth?”
“There is truth…but the doctrine you desire, absolute, perfect dogma that provides wisdom, does NOT exist.   Rather, you should long for the perfection of yourself.  The deity is within you, not in ideas and books.  Truth is lived, not taught.   BE prepared for conflicts.”
THE CALL
by Herman Hesse, THE GLASS BEAD GAME

Diary Notes from January 1987 and a Postcard from late 1986

I’m excited about my Hawaiian departure at the end of this month (January 1988).  I was looking at a postcard that Anne, the gorgeous aerobics instructor, sent me while she was in Hawaii.  She sent it right after I had come back from my first trip to New York City in August 1986 with Ron Leoni.

PHOTO Postcard from Anne Alberti, dated August 19, 1986:

She wrote: 
Dear Mike,

Here’s a Hawaiian postcard to welcome you back from New York.  That’s me on front.  My hair grew quite a bit over here.   The weather’s been good.  Can’t wait to hear about your trip.   See ya soon.

Anne

P.S. How’d I do with your name? 
It was addressed Mr. Mike AMILJO (instead of ARMIJO)

I loved Anne's card but Paloma still sends the best cards.   She also writes regularly. Here are some excerpts from some of her correspondence I received in 1986 and 1988 which provides a feel for the times...

PHOTO Postcard from PALOMA:  Lauren Bacall

Dear Michael, 

Thank you for the picture.   That was great, fantastic.   It reminds me of when I went to pick you up and we were all dressed up in summer clothes when it was freezing!   Funny…that day you showed me that picture of PARIS and that was the last time I saw you.   Three days after I was in the middle of the picture (in Paris)!    Could you please send me a picture of San Francisco?   You never know. 

Michael, I think you just love me as a friend.   You’re not jealous or anything.  You’re not even afraid of losing me.   That’s the feeling I have always had.   Sorry, just a little tired.

PHOTO Postcard from PALOMA:  BLEDINE Jacquemaire

…In fact, I think I’m doing some in-depth talking in my letters.   What do you mean by being in Paris is getting a little better?   Let’s put it this way…I’m not in Ethiopia and I’ve lived here about 23 years.  I’m still alive and I don’t really have time to be down.   So the weather is really nice.  I am now almost darker (tan) than in California.  

Right now in Paris the temperature is probably around 100 degrees.   Summers here are warmer than San Francisco.   Well, I feel like telling you lots of things but I’ve got to stop writing and you’re not telling me enough.  How is your girlfriend doing?   Say hello for me to Dale Orlando and wife and baby.   Hope to read you soon.  

Love, Paloma

PHOTO Postcard:  Jacques Alexandre “Symphonie In Blue”

This card (I believe) was written by Paloma before I went to visit Paris in 1986:

…So I was just kind of like a guide with people who I didn’t know at all.  I didn’t know what they wanted to do.   At THE LOUVRE I took them to see “The Joconde” and they had no idea what the painting of MONA LISA was.   I had a great time.   The whole time I was thinking about when I showed you this.  It really isn’t that exciting, so maybe I could just show you around for a few days.   Then we could go on vacation somewhere else.   I’m going to need some vacation time.   I can get some time and we could go to the South of France (We don’t need my brother.  There is a place for us to stay there).   The problem is my car.   I don’t know if I’m going to be able to use it to go there.   What would be just fantastic is to go to GREECE, but of course, it would also be more expensive.  I don’t think it would be that expensive in September though.   Well, just tell me what you think about all of this…

PHOTO Postcard:  Mad Max, Mel Gibson

Another one written by PALOMA before my first visit to Paris in 1986…

…Tell me for sure if you’re coming or not.   And when?   I’ve got to ask my boss for some vacation.   If I wait till the last minute he won’t give me anything.  He is a real jerk.   He is just about five years older than us.   If you come and I’m working you won’t see much.   I just have an hour and a half for lunch and I’m just off on Sunday.   I work six days a week.   Well, you could also come to visit me any time since I’m in a store but it gets really boring fast there.   In the evening I just think about going to bed.   I loved your last card.  It’s pretty amazing the cards you can find.   I just found this one at my store.   Guess who it reminded me of?   Someone who wore “shorts” that night?   Pretty good memory…I wish…

Continued on PHOTO Postcard:  “ONCE UPON A TIME” by Jaques Alexandre

I wish I could travel in time and get back in your blanket.   Well, I’ve got to finish this letter.   I’ve been writing it for about two weeks.  You must be mad at me.   You’ve got to answer me really fast.   I need to know what you want to do.   You should be here in four weeks.   I hope to see you really soon.   I miss you very much.  You don’t know how much.
Love You, Paloma

PHOTO Postcard:  Mantelpiece by Charles Roff (1979)

Written while PALOMA was pregnant…

…I think he never feels what is happening inside me, except Jonathan kicks many times.   That is so weird to feel something (I can’t yet say someone) move in your tummy.   Well, now you know when your wife is pregnant a little bit about the way she feels.   Jonathan could have been your son.   I think I told you at that time that I thought I couldn’t have babies. 

Talking about perfumes…I would like the GLORIA VANDERBILT one, CALVIN KLEIN and all the American ones (LIZ TAYLOR, CATHERINE DENEUVE).   She is French but her perfume isn’t sold her.   I’ve got a bunch of French, Italian and Spanish ones to trade if you need a list.   I’ll send you a perfume bottle.   Did you try to find out if there is a Club or something like that…

And a two-page letter from Paloma (not dated):

…my mother is in SPAIN right now with her “boyfriend”.   She met him about two years ago, a man she almost lived with.   I see my family once in a while, at summertime, and they come pretty often and I go to Paris at least twice a year.   What about your family?   What are your brothers doing?   How is your mom?   Do you still get to babysit?  Wish you were here!

I just got a letter from Bonnie yesterday with two beautiful ‘model’ pictures of Alison.   I think I gave them some good ideas about trying to make a model out of Alison, taking her to French school.   She now speaks French.   I’m trying to follow the same rules with Jonathan but it’s hard where I live.   I’m still calling an agency in Paris to see if we can do something.   Talking about Jonathan I want to ask you something.  Could you please tell me if LEVI’s 501 jeans exist that are two years old and how much they cost?    And where you’ve seen them (if you do).   Thank you.

I’m sending you a French cassette tape of songs with this letter but I didn’t record it.   Alexandre did it for you.   I mention it because I thought that was nice.   So that’s not exactly what I would have done…eve I f I like a lot of the songs.  My favorite one is LUNETTES NOIRES which means DARK GLASSES.   It’s the first song on SIDE A.   I don’t know which side but I’m sure you’ll recognize another song by a gorgeous girl called LNA (Helena in French).   She sings it.

I’m glad you’re happy to move into your new house.   I liked your house.  What photo did you take it from?  

What are you going to be for Halloween?   Are you planning to do something?   Are you going to the KABUKI?   I remember very well when we met too.   Remember when you tried to find out my phone number?   That was funny!   I’m glad I gave it to you.   Good friends are really rare.

I started this letter yesterday.  I’ve been thinking about that restaurant you saw called PALOMA.  That’s really amazing.  Have you ever men someone else called PALOMA?   I’d really like to know why they called the restaurant PALOMA.

Well, Jonathan is just waking up.   I’ve got to stop writing to send this letter fast.
Hope to read you soon.
Love, Paloma

PHOTO Poscard from CHICAGO:

…And a postcard from a mysterious G.J. in CHICAGO that I met in the Bay Area back in 1987.  

01-05-87

Hey Mike,

WOW…First a letter, now a card.  What next?  Classes have started…Oh JOY-ish!   I’d much rather be an up and coming businessman like you.   Life’s rough.  I’m weird.   Sorry. 

I’m the only one I know who can totally trip without the use of drugs or any other foreign substance.   But mail is fun to get, even trippy mail, right?   Guess I’d make a good party lizard.   I’m sitting here listening to some ALPHAVILLE and some ULTRAVOX music.   Heard of them?   No one here has.   And I thought I was  a product of the dark ages.   Two more classes and then it’s off to work.   I’m Joe Bank Teller, a real thrill I assure you.   Well, I’m sure this will really make your day.  Ha!   Be good.  I know you are!  Bye Bye, G.J. in CHICAGO

“I thrive on differences and on complication.”

–Erik Bruhn told  a reporter in the Spring of 1966
(3 October 1928 – 1 April 1986)  Erik was a Danish dancer, choreographer, artistic director, actor, and author.   The above line was a quote I noted in the Rudolf Nureyev book:
NUREYEV:  His Life by Diane Solway

 

 

 

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