My Favorite Winter Coat

I am a person who believes not only that you can change the future but, to some extent, the past.   If you elect to wipe out what has happened, pay it no mind, give it no room in your consciousness—why then, it didn’t happen.   I had decided to wipe that…OUT.
-Elizabeth Savage, THE LAST NIGHT AT THE RITZ

Diary Notes for early April 1988….

April 3, 1988
It is Easter Sunday and I will be experiencing a bit of EASTER fun at mom’s house.   A bit later I will be getting-together with Kelly for the evening.  

I walked over to visit my brother and Ashley was yelling for me in the bathroom.   She was in the tub with her little rubber duck.   Luckily, I had my Polaroid to capture the moment.  She was so happy and carefree (as most children are at that age).

John took Ashley to mom’s house.   Mom had hidden Easter baskets for Ashley and Lauren.   It was a festive, relaxed Sunday.   Sherri was still at KAISER Hospital and will likely be leaving with her newest baby soon.  They wanted to keep Holly under observation a bit longer.   That sounded 'spooky' but from the sound of it there is nothing to be concerned about.   Thank God.

I don’t know how my mom is so good at organizing these things while working full-time.   Somehow she does it.   I guess she’s just so comfortable with her job she finds a way.  
“I’m retiring soon,” Mom says.
“I can’t wait for that day.”

Ashley and Lauren found splendid entertainment while digging into their respective Easter baskets.

I asked mom, "Did you used to buy me Easter Baskets when I was a kid?"

"Of course I did."
"How come you stopped doing it?"

Mom laughed.

I took an opportunity to take a Polaroid moment of me in CONGRATULATIONS mode with my brother, John, after the birth of his new little girl (HOLLY) who was born yesterday.    I still cannot believe that both of my brother have two kids.   I know that I'm having 'my own' somewhere...any day now.   There's no point in bringing it up but I'm making a family very happy.   A woman is impregnated and that is all I know...for now.

Mom was having a good time.   I think we all were having fun.   It was one of those happy Sunday times.  Ashley and Lauren were growing up and beginning to be 'little people' who could talk.   I was excited to get to know the two newbies, Leigh and Holly.   Would their personalities be different?  

Ashley made me laugh because she was having a bit of a chocolate party.  

“Save the chocolate for another day, Ashley.   You don’t want to eat it all at once or you’ll feel sick in your tummy.”

Tony arrived with his new baby, LEIGH.  

“Wow, Lauren, that’s your little sister.  You better be extra nice to her,”  I whispered.

Lauren smiled shyly.

 

Kelly arrived at my place a bit later.   It was a cool night and I allowed her to wear the leather jacket I bought in Paris in 1985.    I still recall trying it on while Paloma looked on. 

Paloma said, “It’s gorgeous.”

And so, I bought it on the spot.   It’s really my ‘Paloma Jacket’.   She loved it, so I had to have it.   More importantly, she loved it as I was wearing it.   I doubt Paloma would be too thrilled that Kelly was wearing it tonight.   Oh well…what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.  

I took Kelly to a place on Harbor Isle that I call SKYLARK 24.   It has a breathtaking view of San Francisco.   It was chilly but I managed to warm her up.  

PHOTO:  'me' and Kelly (wearing My Favorite Winter Coat)

As I drove back to my place I turned on the radio and the HOT song of the month was playing:   MAN IN THE MIRROR by Michael Jackson.   The beginning of the song is inspiring to me.   He sings about ‘making a change’.   When I hear that word ‘change’ I always try to think of it as an ‘improvement’.   I’m Gonna Make an IMPROVEMENT…  The song is a sure fire hit, so I find myself dwelling on it.   I like how he mentions the turning up the collar on my favorite winter coat.   My favorite winter coat is the leather one I bought in Paris.  One of these days I’m going to look at myself in the mirror and listen to the entire song at the same time. 

Here are the lyrics to MAN IN THE MIRROR:

I'm Gonna Make a Change,
For Once in My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference, Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up the Collar on My Favorite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind, I See the Kids in the Street,
With Not Enough To Eat, Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See Their Needs
A Summer's Disregard, A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man's Soul, They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya' Know 'Cause They Got Nowhere
To Go That's Why I Want You To Know

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror

I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na, Na Nah

I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish Kind Of Love

It's Time That I Realize That There Are Some With No
Home, Not A Nickel To Loan Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They're Not Alone?
A Widow Deeply Scarred, Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream (Washed-Out Dream)
They Follow The Pattern Of The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place To Be
That's Why I'm Starting With Me (Starting With Me!)

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror

(Ooh!) I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways (Ooh!)
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And Then Make A Change)

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror (Ooh!)

I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways (Change His Ways-Ooh!)
And No Message Could've Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself And Then Make That . . . (Take A Look At Yourself And Then Make That . . .Change!)

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror, (Man In The Mirror-Oh Yeah!)

I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways (Better Change!)
No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer (If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
(Take A Look At Yourself And Then Make The Change)
(You Gotta Get It Right, While You Got The Time ‘Cause When You Close Your Heart)
You Can't Close Your . . .Your Mind! (Then You Close Your . . .Mind!)
That Man, That Man, That Man, That Man
With That Man In The Mirror (Man In The Mirror, Oh Yeah!)
That Man, That Man, That Man I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
(Better Change!)
You Know . . .That Man No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place (If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And Then Make A Change (Take A Look At Yourself And Then Make A Change)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,Na Nah
(Oh Yeah!) Gonna Feel Real Good Now! Yeah Yeah! Yeah Yeah!
Yeah Yeah! Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na, Na Nah (Ooooh . . .)
Oh No, No No . . .I'm Gonna Make A Change It’s Gonna Feel Real Good!
Come On! Change . . .
Just Lift Yourself You Know You've Got To Stop It.  Yourself!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!) I've Got To Make That Change, Today!
Hoo! (Man In The Mirror) You Got To You Got To Not Let Yourself . . .
Brother . . .Hoo! (Yeah!-Make That Change!)
You Know-I've Got To Get That Man, That Man . . .
(Man In The Mirror)
You've Got To You've Got To Move! Come On! Come On!
You Got To . . .Stand Up! Stand Up! Stand Up! (Yeah-Make That Change)
Stand Up And Lift Yourself, Now! (Man In The Mirror)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Aaow! (Yeah-Make That Change)
Gonna Make That Change . . .Come On!
(Man In The Mirror) You Know It! You Know It! You Know It!
You Know . . .(Change . . .) Make That Change.

April 11, 1988

It was Academy Award night and the chatter was exciting because it was being held at the SHRINE AUDITORIUM.   It was the first time the Academy Awards would be held here.   Chevy Chase of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE fame was the host.

It was amazing to me that THE LAST EMPEROR won all nine Oscars that it was nominated for.   It was an epic sort of film.  It deserved it.   Michael Douglas won for BEST ACTOR in WALL STREET.   He was a ruthless character and also deserved it.  

 

I was happy for CHER who won for BEST ACTRESS in MOONSTRUCK, she was likeable in that role.

 

The best part of the night was in the beginning when my hero, 007-James Bond won.   Yes, Sean Connery won BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR for his part in THE UNTOUCHABLES.    In my book it was a classic moment, long overdue.

“I’ve Had The Time of My Life” from DIRTY DANCING won.   That was a pretty cool moment.  I have a feeling it will be a remembered tune for a long time.   After all, we ALL yearn to have the time of our lives.

He had known where he was heading from the age of eighteen, he just hadn’t been quite sure how he was going to get there, or how long it would take.

-BETRAYAL Of Love and Freedom
by Paul Huljich, a novel (based on a little truth)

 

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"THAT GIRL"

'It seemed a shame that we could be so close in our letters and never see each other alone.'
A WAY OF LIFE, LIKE ANY OTHER by Darcy O’Brien

On March 29, 1988 I wrote the following letter to PALOMA:

Dear Paloma,

Do you remember my Nastassja Kinski framed picture hanging over my bed?  Well, I found the male version that’s sure to get you very excited.   I know you’ll like it.

Guess what?  My sister in law, Helen, had her baby girl today at 5:55AM.   She was 6 lbs, 19 ounces and 19 inches long.  Her name is LEIGH ERIN ARMIJO.   Now I have three nieces.  My sister in law, Sherri, is due to deliver on April 12, 1988.

PHOTO:  Leigh Armijo

So…how are you, Jonathan and Alexandre?   I am doing well.  I am still dating Kelly M.   She’s a really nice one.   I like her a lot too.  If it amounts to anything ‘real significant’ I will let you know.

I heard our song today:  RED WINE by UB 40.

Do you remember the 1984 TV movie called LACE?   You told me about that blond and how she is a famous actress in Paris (ARIELLE DOMBASLE).   Well, last month, my roommate, Mike Miller, and I were in San Francisco and I saw her on a catalog cover for a store called CELINE.   The store gave me a catalog to take home.   I’m writing your letter on top of the catalog right now.  
PHOTO:  Arielle Dombasle

My Pacific Bell office moved to a new building in San Francisco and it’s really nice because we’re a block away from the HYATT REGENCY.   There are all kinds of new places to go for lunch.   There’s nothing like THE GOOD EARTH (of Berkeley), of course. 

 I haven’t been bicycling lately.  I am starting to feel FAT again.   I havent’ even been to the gym for a couple of weeks.  Oh well…I jogged a lot the week before last.   What is your current body rating?   Are you still ravishingly SEXY and BEAUTIFUL?  Haha…or need I even ask?

PHOTO:   Film Clip from DOMINICK AND EUGENE

The Academy Awards are on April 11^th and that’s going to be fun to watch.   If you get a chance be sure to go and see a new movie called DOMINICK AND EUGENE starring Tom Hulce and Jamie Lee Curtis.   It is really sad and happy at the same time.  It’s a super good movie.   It just opened in the US theaters here last week.   It will probably hit France in about a year.   How long does it take?

Have a good day ‘sweets’.   Give Jonathan a kiss and hug from ‘UNCLE MIKE’.  Lots of Love,  Always,  Michael J Armijo

PHOTO:  LEIGH  ARMIJO

Yes, my niece LEIGH was born on March 29, 1988.   I love one of my first Polaroid shots of her where her eyes are so OPEN with curiosity.   She’s such a doll.   

Ironically, another niece was born on April 2, 1988.   She was born ten days earlier than expected.  Her name is HOLLY ALYSSA ARMIJO.    They were both born in Oakland, CA (just like me).   They were born at KAISER HOSPITAL.    I was born in OAKLAND HOSPITAL.  I wonder what ever happened to that hospital? 

I accompanied mom to KAISER on April 2^nd to see HOLLY.   Ashley came along and I snapped a photo of mom and Ashley leaving the hospital.  Earlier I had spotted my nieces (Lauren and Ashley) playing around in the hallways of the hospital with two other little girls.  

It’s cute how kids make friends so quickly.   They seem to start out by looking at each other and simply asking, “What’s your name?”    I’ve decided the next time I go to a bar or club and I see ‘THAT GIRL’ I’m just going to put my little boy hat on, smile and ask, “So…what’s your name?”   
I mean…that’s the best introductory question, isn’t it?

After the KAISER HOSPITAL visit was back at mom’s house and I congratulated my brother, Tony, on the birth of his second daughter, LEIGH.     He seemed pretty happy.   I think he figured I have one already, so the second one should be a breeze.

Mom was so happy.   She gave birth to three boys and now she suddenly has four granddaughters. 

“I always wanted a girl…and now I have four,” mom said, smiling.

Soon I'll be able to take photos of Holly, too.   She's still in the hospital for observation.

I had mom take a pic of me, holding my new niece, Leigh.  Sweet.  She's so small and fragile.  She didn't even cry.  I guess this means she'll be a 'good girl' (for the time being). 

Mom is so good with her granddaughters, too.  Lauren and Ashley spent the night and mom put bobby pins in their hair in order to create curls for them.   They were so excited and looked so cute with the bobby pins.   They looked at themselves in the mirror and laughed at themselves.  It was super cute.  I had my mom take a Polaroid of both LAUREN and ASHLEY on my lap with those bobby pins in their hair.   It was classic.

PHOTO:   Ashley Armijo and Lauren Armijo in bobby pins

'Families could be great things if they worked right.' -Darcy O'Brien
A WAY OF LIFE, LIKE ANY OTHER

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Never Gonna Give You Up

“You play fair with me; I'll play fair with you.”
Glenn Close as Alex Forrest in
the 1987 motion-picture FATAL ATTRACTION

Diary Notes for March 19^th and 20^th 1988…

March 19, 1988

It was a special Saturday.    I had an early bike ride along Shoreline Drive and I was expecting Kelly to arrive thereafter.   The plan was to go on a mini-road trip together.   Our destination was the Historic Sonoma Plaza.   I wanted to document the day with Polaroid photos, so we took a few before we left at my place.   I remember posing as if I were pretending to be on the telephone.   Kelly took this solo photo of me:

I said, “Make sure you include my bike.”
Kelly knew I loved my bike.  She probably thought me crazy.

I set the timer for another photo of the two of us and she laughed hysterically when I said, “Oh man…we look like Frankenstein and the Bride of Frankenstein in this one!”

The town of Sonoma is centered on the plaza, the largest plaza in California.   During the drive we listened to cool tunes and laughed all along the way.   We couldn’t help talk about Jim and Christine.  

“Do you really think they’ll last?”  I asked.
“I don’t know…they always have these fits about nonsense but it seems to be going okay.   I hope it works out.”

“I know…I mean I think we’re so perfect but I’m not so sure about them.   At least it won’t lead to a FATAL ATTRACTION like that movie…I hope.”

“I know!”

It was so wonderful at how we agreed about so many subjects.   I loved that.   As we arrived to the plaza we planned on buying a bottle of wine and having a little picnic in the park.  The plaza is surrounded by many historical buildings, including the Mission San Francisco Solano, Captain Salvador Vallejo's Casa Grande, the Presidio of Sonoma, the Blue Wing Inn, and the Toscano Hotel.  In the middle of the plaza is Sonoma's early 20th-century city hall, at the plaza's center and still in use, was designed and built with four identical sides in order not to offend the merchants on any one side of the plaza.  

We stopped to browse at hats in a little boutique.   Kelly was accommodating when I snapped her in a silly hat.   Of course, she had to get even and take a photo of me in an equally silly hat.   That was funny.  

The Sonoma City Hall was dedicated in 1908.  The location was where the Bear Flag Revolt took place in 1846, which led to the Mexican-American War.   It was fun to people watch and simply relax in the park.   I snapped a shot of Kelly on the park bench and she was unsure of how to pose.

“Just be natural.”
“Yeah, right,” she said.
She made me laugh.   The photo turned out all right though.

We walked about town and Kelly took one last photo of me next to a house that had some wine barrels with a fancy water treatment.   It was soothing to hear the water there.

After our enjoyable day it was time to drive back to Alameda.  It’s a bit of a drive but I managed.   After all…I was in good company.    We laughed over and over about the hit song of the week that they kept playing over and over while we were in my car.   I think it was subliminally sending us both a message and we both knew it.   The song was by Rick Astley called "Never Gonna Give You Up".   We both loved this song so very much.  We also talked about the Oscar nominated movies we liked, specifically FATAL ATTRACTION, MOONSTRUCK and THE LAST EMPEROR.

It was a memorable evening...

The next day, March 20, 1988, my mom came by to visit.   She was excited.  
Mom exclaimed, “You know…Sherri and Helen are going to have the babies any time now.”
“That’s right!   Besides Ashley and Lauren there will be two new babies around.   This will make for more fun at Christmastime.”

RJ:  “Words are important.”
Pu Yi, at 15:  “Why are words important?”
RJ:  “If you cannot say what you mean, your majesty, you will never mean what you say and a gentleman should always mean what he says.”
-as heard during the  1987 motion-picture THE LAST EMPEROR

 

 

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Monkeying Around

“I feel like I’m on a merry-go-round.” –Michael J Armijo to Alan Freiman, DUMBO, Brooklyn NY, while in a bar called SUPERFINE with a giant rollercoaster hanging over my head.

 March 12, 1988

 

It’s EASTER Sunday and I had fun playing photographer to my niece, Ashley, as she did a bit of a model routine in her new Easter dress.   I took a few other takes with her holding her stuffed-bunny rabbit.   Too cute! 

PHOTO:  Ashley Armijo, with her Easter Bunny

March 18, 1988

Early this morning I got dressed in my LIVE-105 QUAKE Radio T-shirt and gray jeans.   My roommate, Mike Miller, did his morning stretch.   He flexed his biceps and it reminded me that I need to get my ass over to the gym. 

PHOTO:  Mike Miller flexing

Mike asked, “What are you doing today?”

“I’m going to Sausalito with my mom and nieces…but I won’t be gone for long.”

I made Mike pretend he was on his red hotline phone (from work) as we shook hands in an impromptu pose of deal making.  He thought I was crazy.   I suppose I do get a bit crazy when I formulate my picture posing.   It must be from browsing so many magazines.

And so, it was a planned outing to Sausalito.  I did the driving and the guests included my mom, Sherri (Ashley’s mom), Ashley and Lauren. 

The girls (Ashley and Lauren) seemed to have about ‘had it’ with my frequent photo shooting.   I love my Polaroid.  I caught them off-guard and soon they weren’t being very cooperative.

PHOTO:   Ashley and Lauren in carriages

We ate at the HAMBURGERS joint and sat out by the water, watching the boats and the seagulls.   It made me think of Alfred Hitchcock and his classic film, THE BIRDS.   We walked all around and I managed to re-live a bit of my childhood by getting on the merry-go-round with the kids, too.   That was fun.  I gave my mom the assignment of taking some photos while I was on the merry-go-round.   She did a very good job.

It was an all-around fun day.   I think the girls enjoyed the outing, too.    Sherri was pregnant with her next child.   She was expected to have the new baby within the next few weeks, so I’m sure she was tired.    
I said to Sherri, “At least you can take a nap when you get home.”

I believe we were all reaching our limits and wanted a nap at this point.   In hopes of reviving our energetic states I managed to persuade Sherri and mom to pose next to a statuesque monkey on a park bench.  

I allowed Sherri to ‘get even’ and she took a photo of me seated next to the monkey also.   It was clear we were all ‘monkeying around’.    It’s fun to be spontaneous this way sometimes. 

Upon my arrival home I noticed that Mike was nowhere to be found.  He probably went out with friends.   I checked my mail and found a letter from Lottie McHenry.   She’s the gal I met through Michael Thoennes.    Lottie wrote:

March 1988,  Friday

Dear Michael
A short note to let you know I have pulled one of my famous moves.  I moved out of Sacramento to a small town called Susanville.   It is a 3 ½ hour drive Northeast of Sac.   There are many reasons for this and quite lengthy to explain, so we will talk those over at a later time.   I do hope you make entries in your address book in pencil.

 
You are here with me thanks to the camera!   I plan to come down to the Bay Area in the next 3 weeks.   I will contact you before, so I’m sure you’re ready for company.   Can you handle a visit from a wild woman?  (a smile?)

How are your acting classes?

Oh Michael.   I’m a mother again.  He’s black (gotcha!).   He’s 8 weeks, 7-8 1lbs. and his name is Boo!   He’s a black lab pup.  He is adorable.  With a mother like me what else would you expect?   I miss you.   H.T.H.F.Y.S.  T.C.
Love Lottie

I actually figured out her acronym at the end of the letter on my own:   Hope To Hear From You Soon.   Take Care.  

I had forgotten our discussion about the idea of my taking acting classes.   I never signed up but it is still in the back of my mind to take that plunge ‘just for the fun of it’ at the American Conservatory Theater in San Francisco.    I’ll have to be brave on the day that I decide to do that.  It still might be fun to meet the other people in class.   The 'wild woman' in Lottie makes me want to be a bit more on the wild side.

 “A really good bad guy hides out in the dark, right?”

THE HURT LOCKER,
2008 motion-picture

 

 

 

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We Understand Each Other

"The conductor must NOT only make his orchestra play, he must make them WANT to play.  He must exalt them, lift them, and start their adrenaline pouring, either through cajoling or demanding or raging.  But however he does it, he must make the orchestra LOVE the music as he loves it.  It is not so much imposing his will on them like a dictator; it is more like projecting his feelings around him so that they reach the last man in the second violin section.  AND when this happens...there is human identity of feeling that has no equal elsewhere.  It is the closest thing I know to LOVE itself." 
-Leonard Bernstein

Diary Notes from early March 1988….

I received a letter this week from Paloma.  She is in the South of France now in an area known as AGDE.   The street address was posted as Rue Jean Roger.    She included a photo of her son, Jonathan, which she photographed in September 1987.   He’s so cute.  

PHOTO:  Paloma wrote about JONATHAN: "...just look at those biceps."

Here is an excerpt of Paloma's recent letter dated March 9, 1988:

…I’m sure it’s even more difficult.   You never know.   In fact, I’m just referring to the gay couples I’ve been around.

That’s funny, I just noticed you put the “H” before the “A” when you write “HA HA HA”.   We reverse the letters in French (AH AH AH)…well, never mind.    My pen wasn’t working and I had to change to this brown color.   Sorry about that!

Are you sending me those beautiful perfect letters to make me feel bad?   I miss you.    I’m really glad we’re such good friends though.   I really feel comfortable when I write you.   We can just talk about everything together.   Can’t we?   That’s the way I feel.   I’m sure you can tell by my letters that I feel I can almost tell you anything.   You won’t get mad at me.   I think we understand each other pretty well.   What do you think about that?

I’ll write again soon.   I have to go to bed.   I’m very nostalgic tonight.  I wish we could laugh together again.  I miss that.
Love You, Paloma

In the beginning of her letter she wrote about how she met Alexandre when they worked as performers while working together at CLUB MED.   She included a photo of them together.   I couldn’t help but feel very jealous of that photo.   They both looked so fit, flexible and sexy.

PHOTO:  PALOMA and ALEXANDRE

I only wished I could do acrobatic moves like that.    Who knows?   Perhaps with practice I could do it.   Of course, if I did that with Paloma I just know we’d be laughing so hard while trying to be all the more perfect.   I think we would have so much fun trying something like that.   I always feel nostalgic while reading her letters.   She’s so far away and yet she is so ‘close to me’ at the same time.   It’s a very difficult predicament to explain as I continue to live, work and play here in the Bay Area.

PHOTO: Mike Miller and me: Michael J Armijo

I took a photo of my roommate, Mike Miller, and I on a typical Tuesday morning before 7AM yesterday (March 8, 1988).   We were having breakfast and I was so intrigued by my delicious STELLA DORO cookies.   Mike didn’t have much of a sweet tooth but he was good about eating his morning cereal. 

Today, March 9, 1988 was a special day for me because I knew Kelly Mullin was coming to Alameda to visit me.   She had the day off and I would be getting out of work early.    I was excited about her visit.   I couldn’t help myself.   She was lying on the floor after we were watching something silly on TV.  

PHOTO:   KELLY MULLIN, in BLUE

"Blue is your color,” I said.

"It is…you think so?”

“Definitely.”

Her presence made me feel relaxed.    It didn’t hurt that I was home and in my comfortable sweat pants.  

I also set the timer on my POLAROID to take a photo of us on the couch.   I call it our ‘SO IN LOVE’ photo after that song by O.M.D. (Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark).    O.M.D. is a British New Wave band and they released this song called “SO IN LOVE” back in May 1985.    We both knew the song and we both love it.   When I see the photo I think of that song.    I see my CALIFORNIA sweatshirt with my name (MICHAEL) imprinted on it and how I came to have that shirt.   My gym partner and lover of yesteryear, Chad Mark Glen, went to PIER 39 in San Francisco.   We both had the sweatshirts made.   I wonder if he wears his shirt.   It’s identical except his has his name (CHAD) imprinted on it.   While I see Kelly and me in the photo the sweatshirt does take me back to that brief time that I had with Chad. 

PHOTO:   The ‘SO IN LOVE’ Photo of Kelly and ‘me’

I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I am leery about the idea of my relationship with Kelly.   I feel like I am walking on eggshells for fear of a break-up.   I don’t know why.   When Paloma wrote to me about how ‘we understand each other’ I find that to be so very true.   Paloma knows me like no other.   I don’t know if Kelly really understands me.   I fear that if she knew things about me and my past she would not feel “SO IN LOVE” anymore.   I am afraid of her leaving me now that it all feels so good.    I will have to wait and see how things go.   She seems to love the same music.   I’ll make her want to play.

“It’s always darkest before the dawn, and every cloud has a silver lining.”  -Kurt Vonnegut Jr., PLAYER PIANO

 

 

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A NATURAL HIGH

A man was tested sometimes, and the true test of a man was whether he could get off the floor and still be a champion.
-Darcy O’Brien,
A WAY OF LIFE, LIKE ANY OTHER

Saturday, March 5, 1988,  Diary Notes for the day…

PHOTO:  Kelly Mullin, at the San Ramon DELI

It was a Saturday and I had a plan.   I wanted to take a long excursion bike ride.   The day couldn’t have been better for a ride.   My planned journey would start from Alameda through San Leandro, Castro Valley and via Crow Canyon Road to San Ramon.   My final destination would be to surprise Kelly Mullin who was working at her job all day at a local DELI in San Ramon.   I couldn’t wait to arrive and see the look on her face.  

Well, Kelly was pleasantly surprised.

PHOTO:  Kelly Mullin, turning her head at the sight of me while making a sandwich

“You rode your bike all the way here!   I can’t believe it,” Kelly shrieked with smiles from ear to ear.

It’s too bad she couldn’t take off the rest of the day.   Oh well, it was fun to see her in action.   I loved the ride.  It was worth it.   The ride back was easy because I was on such ‘a natural high’ from seeing my Kelly.   I like to test myself with these weekend bike ride escapes.  I still love to ride like the wind.  I felt like a champ.

Once I arrived back at mom’s house I had fun.   I drank up a bunch of orange juice and H20.   I was thirsty.   The fun part was finding my nieces with my mom.   It was a babysitting Saturday with Ashley and Lauren.    I had fun stooping down to their level and connecting with my child within.   Of course, Ashley had her mood swings.  

And suddenly, Lauren had her own mood swings.   I suppose we all have our mood swings.   Mom insists that it signals that it is time for nap.   And so be it.  I could use the break because Ashley and Lauren have so much energy.   I used up most of my energy on the bike excursion to San Ramon.

When the girls awoke from their naps we had fun.   I took a few Polaroid photos and I got Lauren all glossy eyed by the sight of a few sparking marbles.   It's interesting to me how you can engross a child with interest with the mere mystic of a marble or some other object.   To get them to 'think' and 'wonder'...to discover.

 

It wasn’t long until Sherri (Ashley’s mom) came by to pick-up Ashley.  I snapped another pic of Mommy Sherri/Aunt Sherri with both Ashley and Lauren on her lap.

Mom received a phone call that Tony and Helen would be soon arriving for Lauren.   When they drove up to the house I snapped a curious picture of them in their car.   I liked the spontaneity of it.  

This is what Saturdays are made for…family, randomness, happiness and a visit to the sweetest girlfriend in my current chapter (Kelly).   I yearned to bite her neck.  Yum.

What sort of grim adventure was it on which I had embarked?

-Bram Stoker,
DRACULA

 

 

 

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