The Beginnings - Part 28: BODY WAVE

What had actually begun to surface in his muddled mind was a conflict of emotions.
-Christopher Isherwood
CHRISTOPHER and HIS KIND

The Beginnings – Part 28:  BODY WAVE

May 13, 1983

I hugged Joan Brown three times today. I wanted to sincerely wish her the best and to say goodbye as she is being transferred to the Pacific Telephone Woodland Hills office. I will miss her. She was my very first ‘tub mate’ and my initial true friend and on-the-job trainer. She has invited me for visits to Southern California. That remains to be seen.

When work finally ended I cruised home and saw my MACY’s bills. I telephoned PROPER CUTS about an appointment. I asked about the process of a body wave. Someone suggested I do that—but I’m not so sure.

Well, I made it to PROPER CUTS and I did it. I got the body wave. I had Esther, some Mexican chick, who slightly cut and styled my hair. It came out surprisingly well. I was impressed. The new hairdo impressed me so much that I had the urge to hit the ‘night life’.

I planned on going to STAR GAZE in Fremont but I detoured over to THE ECLIPSE in Hayward. I didn’t like ‘the vibes’ there. I paid a six-dollar cover charge. What a waste. I also bought a two-dollar cocktail called a GREYHOUND. I left after fifteen minutes. I proceeded to go to STAR GAZE. I knew I liked the music there; however, I took another detour to the BLACK ANGUS in Fremont. There weren’t very many girls there, so I did go to STAR GAZE.

I was feeling a little loose and fancy free after my GREYHOUND cocktail from earlier.
I approached a girl and asked, “Do you want to dance?”
She looked at me with surprise and said, “Why…yes!”
Her voice was ecstatic because I had asked her to dance.
I thought, “Gee, my body wave must NOT look so bad.”
We danced and talked a bit as we shook to the groove. I learned that her name is Karen Caster.
Karen said, “I attend Castro Valley High.”
Her three girlfriends were also very good-looking. I felt lucky for once.
“Someone like you probably has a few boyfriends that you’re stringing along.”
“No,” she said, “I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“Well, I’m twenty-three, so I’m probably too old for you.”
“No, I don’t consider twenty-three too old.”
I asked, “Well, what are you doing tomorrow night?”
“Not really anything.”
When I gathered around her table with her friends her girlfriends gave me Karen’s phone number.
I said to Karen, “I will call you tomorrow about a FOR SURE date.”
My right ear was ringing. Could they have been talking ‘good’ about me?

I left STAR GAZE when Karen and her girlfriends started to depart. I didn’t want to appear as a praying mantis, looking for my next pick-up.
As two of Karen’s friends said they were leaving I said, “It’s just as well…I’m tired and I need to go, too.”

I guess I will take a rain check on the Doug Siu invitation to dinner in San Francisco with his friends. I’d much rather see Karen Caster’s big blue eyes again.

Oh yes, Dad seems to have noticed my body wave.
Dad said, “You look different. You look like Tom Selleck.”
I knew that was an exaggeration and I simply laughed.
The real test is when mom comes home from work tonight. Let’s see if she will notice.

“You like him, don’t you?  Watch out, things might get complicated.”
-Pierre Frei
BERLIN, a novel

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The Beginnings – Part 27: TINGLES UP AND DOWN HER SPINE

Once you spill mercury from a bottle, you can never brush it all back in.
-Christopher Bram
EMINENT OUTLAWS

The Beginnings – Part 27: TINGLES UP AND DOWN HER SPINE

May 12, 1983

I got word from work today that Barbara Reynolds made attempts to call me last night.

I had no sales today. It’s not a good day ‘every day’. The Assistant Manager, Kathy Dumbrowski, did observe a contact I had with a customer. In addition, the new supervisor observed a call I had (unbeknownst to me). Kathy’s observation was commendable (a good thing).

After work I drove through Shoreline Drive and happened to see Suzy Miller who waved me down while she was on her bike. I stopped.
She said, “How funny…I was on my way to visit you!”
“Well, continue riding to my place and then I’ll join you for a ride.”

When Suzy arrived I snapped a few photographs of her and hopped on my bike for a short ride with her. We cruised through part of Central Alameda. It was a fun ride.
Suzy said, “You know, Bonnie called me to see if we were coming to visit her in New York.”
“Well, I guess we’re not now…because of our shortage of funds.”
We talked about Chinese food, so I rode back to my place and hopped into my car and drove to Suzy’s apartment. We ate at some hole-in-the-wall Chinese joint called WAH LAH (or something like that). Then we walked around the South Shore Shopping Center for a while.

While at the Shopping Center I bought myself a pair of navy blue NIKE shorts. Suzy bought a bandana at MILLER’S OUTPOST. She tried on about five bathing suits as I sat around waiting. She came out to get my approval. While I was waiting at one point I bumped into an old flame from high-school. Her name is Christa Keller. Her sister, Patty, is my age. Patty had a crush on my during our high-school days. I never knew until later but I had a crush on Patty’s sister, Christa. I liked Christa—but once we were going steady for a bit it seemed to melt.
I think I dropped her from peer pressure by fellow pals (Sandy Renk, Bonni Jayne and Suzy Miller) who shouted, “She’s a FRESHMAN!”
I can still hear them asking me, “How could you go out with a freshman?”
I shrugged it off and they continued by saying, “You could do better than that, Mike!”  I regretted that I ended my relationship with Christa. Now here we are. She’s twenty-one and I’m twenty-three. She gave me her telephone number. I also wrote up a contact card for her to reach me. I used a line from that card I bought and wrote: ‘You’re My Favorite Current Event.’
I hope the card will bring tingles up and down her spine (and elsewhere for that matter). Time will tell.

I wished my brother, Tony, a HAPPY BIRTHDAY today, of course. Today is his 25th Birthday.
I announced, “Hey, You’re a quarter of a century.”

“I can’t plan that far ahead.  I don’t even buy green bananas.”
-Maggie Smith
THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL,
2012 motion-picture

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The Beginnings – Part 26: HOW LUCKY I AM

In several essays that Hermann Hesse wrote around 1920—most notably Hesse argued that men must seek a new morality that, transcending the conventional dichotomy of good and evil, will embrace all extremes of life in one unified vision.  A later essay, A BIT OF THEOLOGY (1932), outlines the three-stage progression toward this goal.
1. The child, he says, is born into a state of unity with all being.
2. It is only when the child is taught about good and evil that he advances to a second level of individuation characterized by despair and alienation.
3. To attain a third level of awareness where man is once again capable of accepting all being one must be ‘immortal’. Most men are condemned to live on the second level, sustained only by a sense of humor.
-Theodore Ziolkowski
The Foreword in the book THE GLASS BEAD GAME by Hermann Hesse

The Beginnings – Part 26: HOW LUCKY I AM

May 11, 1983

Today was somewhat of a burden. It is because I spoke to my dimwit supervisor, Otha, about the ODBE Program which accelerates one into management. He wants to submit some management attributes on me with my application. I’m not so thrilled about the idea because he has to wait until October 1983 to summarize ideas of my managerial attributes. Doesn’t he recognize any NOW? What a jerk!
I simply said, “Well, let me check with Dot Salas, that Advertising Manager, to see what she might suggest.”
I really don’t feel like being in a locked-in phase with a Research and Development Managerial position in the Business Office. He kind of bothered me because I could tell that he was trying to discourage me from submitting an application on me now for the ODBE Program. What the hell…I’ll find my way. I know I will. I want to. If only I could travel through time…the past or the future.

After work I swallowed up three tacos and my brother, Tony, ate four.

I left the house for MACY’s to apply my twenty dollar gift certificate to my bill and deposit my $704 ATT stock proceeds check from EF HUTTON into my Great Western Savings Account.

I also stopped over at the MACY’s Clearance Center and bought four shirts for a total of only $31.95. It was my way of giving me four warm-fuzzies. I was feeling distraught about the whole ODBE Management Program incident. One thing it did make me realize is that my feelings are ridiculous. I thought this because I saw a man who was crying in the middle of the street after he had a car accident. He wasn’t hurt but his truck was all smashed up. I could see and feel the pressure he had as tears were pouring down his face. A police officer was standing over him, writing a report. How lucky I am. When I think about the extent of other people’s problems I know I am lucky. I am simply happy to be alive and able to stand tall on my own in various ways (financially, socially and confidently).

The closet is still with us, which is why so many people, gay and straight, could respond to the 2005 movie of BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. Our poisonous fear of what other people think of us remains strong.
-Christopher Bram
EMINENT OUTLAWS

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The Beginnings – Part 25: HORROR MOVIES, A NEW LOVER and THE HUNGRY TIGER

“When you’re on your own you feel kind of claustrophobic.”
-Pierre Frei
BERLIN, a novel

The Beginnings – Part 25: HORROR MOVIES, A NEW LOVER and THE HUNGRY TIGER

May 6, 1983

There was nothing very eventful that happened today. I just worked my 8:30AM until 5PM shift. I did take a walk (alone) to Lake Merritt. I also stopped at the BASS Ticket Office during my lunch hour.
Helen asked, “Who are you seeing lately?”
I gave her a phony lie ‘just to be left alone’.
“I may be seeing Renee Miller for a movie.”
I figured I did speak to Renee as she was babysitting her niece and nephew tonight. Renee was on my mind. How unfortunate that she was babysitting.

I wanted to see the new Nastassja Kinski flick called EXPOSED. I tried to get a hold of Michael Miller but he wasn’t around either. It’s just as well.

Elisa didn’t show up with baby Stephanie this evening as she said she might. I wanted to flash a few photographs of the baby, too.

I remained home and listened to dad bitch about my NOT helping him wash mom’s car and how I owe him five-thousand dollars and how I can’t use his truck when I move to my new pad. After enduring all of that I chose to watch THE SHINING. I also sorted out all of my credit cards neatly in my wallet. I did some testing on my new lamps to make sure they actually will light up. The lamps look so nice reflecting against my ROAD WARRIOR framed print of Mel Gibson.

It looks like dad my talk mom into trading-in her 1976 Mustang for a new 83 version tomorrow. She deserves the new wheels.

I will most likely meet Jackie Woods for a minor shopping spree in The City (San Francisco) tomorrow.

Michael Padazinski asked, “Are you having a housewarming party since you’re moving to your own pad?”
I think he was kidding but I asked him right back, “Are you going to give me one?”
He answered, “Sure!”
I wonder if I’ll have a housewarming party. Who would come? Helen, Michael, Geneva, Howard, Seanne, Geneva, Paige, Barbara, Jackie, Juanita, Renee, Sue, Mike…(?)

May 7, 1983

I called several 351 telephone numbers this morning to see which would NOT be in service in order for me that that number when I move to San Leandro. I have a pretty good list going. We shall see.

Jackie Woods and I went to The City after all. Before I left to pick her up at the Fruitvale BART Station I washed my car and waited for mom and dad to come home. They went to look at new cars. They returned with mom’s brand new 1983 Coppertone brown Mustang.

I asked in a puzzled tone, “Brown?”
I was slightly upset by the color and I inadvertently made mom cry over the whole situation. Ooops…I actually liked the 1976 Mustang that she had before; however, this one must be better. I chose to leave after the slightly troubled argument. I wonder if mom was having buyer’s remorse herself.

Jackie and I visited the SEIKO Watch and Clock joint at NEIMAN-MARCUS. We also ventured over to I.MAGNIN, EMPORIUM-CAPWELL, and MACY’s and then we went over to Berkeley to the PIGGY MALONE’s card store that I like so much. I bought a number of greeting cards there along with some candy and a scarf with an ‘A’ (for Armijo) imprinted on it at EMPORIUM for my mom for Mother’s Day. It was flattering when three girls asked me what ARMIJO ‘stood for’ on my license plate. Apparently, they were from Fairfield, CA and had attended ARMIJO HIGH SCHOOL.

After my excursion in to The City with the black girl, Jackie Woods, I returned home to watch EDGE OF NIGHT with mom. Obviously, things were better when I arrived home. I joined mom and dad for dinner and drinks (a pitcher of Margaritas) at MEXICALI ROSE in Alameda. I especially enjoyed the dinner with my folks. We had some good laughs. When we returned home we watched TIME AFTER TIME starring Malcolm McDowell (of CAT PEOPLE) about a time machine and the Jack the Ripper mystery. It was very good.   I love the idea of time travel.   I want to do that!   Malcolm played H.G. Wells.  Who knew that H.G. stood for Herbert George?

May 8, 1983

I love this new radio station in San Francisco called KWAK (pronounced QUAKE) that plays New Wave Rock of the 80’s.

I showed my brother, John, the new greeting cards I bought. We both wondered if the ‘Having A Ball’ series of cards are truly having a ball. John’s kind of shaky about Cindy Mikeljohn’s idea of their relationship.

John said, “I don’t know. She wants to get a little more serious and I don’t want to because she’s not totally my type.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“Her hips are real wide and her ass his too flat,” John said seriously.
I laughed at his comment.

I have a commitment for Saturday morning to show my Aunt Betty where Lafayette Street is located here in Alameda. She plans on taking a Country and Western Dance lesson class there. That’s funny.

I went for a bike ride to Alameda’s South Shore Beach at my favorite spot at the end of Shoreline Drive. I needed to feel refreshed and have some rejuvenation time. I sat out on the beach watching a black lady and her son. The sailboats were drifting in the distance as I listened to the QUAKE radio tunes on John’s SONY WALKMAN. I love the song called DER KOMMISSAR by After the Fire. When it started to play I had to hop on my bike and start pedaling…FAST!

I may buy Tony’s bike for one-hundred dollars. That’s his offering price.  He doesn't even use it.  You'd think he'd give it to me 'out of the kindness of his heart'.

I slept, showered and relaxed to round out my normal Sunday schedule.

I love the Lucy and Ricky song called RICKY by Weird Al Yankovich. I also love that FRANKENSTEIN song: HORROR MOVIES by The Bollock Brothers.  Music does ease my mind.

I taped the movie APOCALYPSE NOW and chose to watch LITTLE DARLINGS. Mom watched it with me. We munched out on Chun King Chicken egg rolls as we watched. Those are so good. Yum Yum. We also watched that program about the best and ‘most remembered’ TV commercials. That was fun.

The TV commercial documentary reminded me about that letter from Dot Salas, the PTT Advertising Manager. The Pink Cadillac greeting card I sent her must have sparked some wonderful memories for her. She responded so nicely. There’s nothing like flattery and nice gestures. It made her feel good. It makes me feel good.

May 9, 1983
Monday

Now I know what the person meant that created that fabulous song called BLUE MONDAY. It was quite BLUE for me today. After work, my brother, Tony, was not at the ALCP parking lot. I was stranded in Downtown Oakland with a penny. Eventually, I managed to call Tony and he met me in front of the City of Oakland Administration Building.

I bumped into Sharon Quinn and her son. I used to work with her on Franklin Street when we were working as Computer Operators. Her son, Michael, has grown up to be a respectable looking young man. However, the bitch couldn’t even offer to give me a lift after I told her I was stranded. It was still nice to see them. I shouldn’t think of the day so negatively. It was frustrating to walk around without a dime. I was home by 7:30PM.

I like Tony’s INTERNATIONAL MALE Magazine. Too bad I can’t have anything in there with my low funds. The cash flow is rather tight right now.

May 10, 1983

My friend and coworker, Barbara Reynolds, found A NEW LOVER (it seems). She seems so ‘starry-eyed’ lately. She has an over-the-weekend visible hickey on her neck that has not yet faded away. She is wearing a scarf to hide it.

I placed my order for my new telephone service after work today. I was able to get a GREAT telephone number: 351-1234. It will be working and effective on May 27, 1983. I am looking forward to the move.

Joan Lyons and Pat Overshoun were kidding me by saying that I better enjoy ‘raiding the fridge’ now before I move out.

Doug Siu furnished me with man Ivory-colored TAMSTAR and a white Trimline Telephone. That was so nice of him.
Doug asked, “Why don’t we go to dinner this Saturday night at THE HUNGRY TIGER in San Francisco near Fisherman’s Wharf?”

I hesitated.
Doug said, “It’ll be my treat. Consider it a courtesy advance birthday gift.”
“That’s so nice,” I said, but I couldn’t help think of him being the ‘hungry tiger’. Why choose a restaurant with that name? It seems to have a subliminal message. I am still debating on the invitation.
“I’ll let you know. It’s just that I’m so busy organizing the move, packing boxes and all.”
I also have a haircut scheduled for this Friday night. I may not like my new look and probably won’t want to be seen for a while.

I received my first subscribed issue of ESQUIRE Magazine today. It’s the 50th Anniversary issue. I am pleased with it. Now I need to find the time to read each and every article. There’s my MADISON AVENUE Magazine, too.

I spoke to a nurse today named Clare Lynch Wing who works at Highland Hospital. It was a work-related phone call but she actually knows Howard Edelstein. I had to ask.
“Could you send him my regards?”
Clare said, “I most certainly will.”
I wonder what his response will be after she relays that message.

My brother, Tony, was home tonight. I overheard him talking to dad about his plans to invest in stocks.
Tony said to dad, “You should tell John to invest some of his money.”
Of course, I didn’t hear him include me. I guess we are not really in speaking terms right now. I remember when he was in the Air Force for those four years. I used to write to him. I had more to say to him when he was miles away near the Panama Canal than I do now.

Tonight I read several articles in ESQUIRE Magazine. One of them was about RELATIONSHIPS IN THE 1980’s and whether or not to have babies. Another one was about GETTING AHEAD and NIGHT CLIMBING WITH THE SOCIAL ELITE in New York City. Another one was about UNEMPLOYMENT and the high-price of being jobless and how self-confidence is as easy to lose as a dollar-bill. The last article I read was about CRIME and THE CASE FOR GUNS with the drawbacks about gang violence, the John Lennon incident and how those reasons alone is good reason for people to arm themselves. I also like looking at the ads for new fashion ideas.

Fashions change so quickly nowadays they may even have altered by the time you get upstairs.
-Daphne du Maurier
REBECCA

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The Beginnings – Part 24: CHAPPED LIPS

Suddenly her face was very close. She pressed her lips to his. He wondered how long she would keep them like that without taking a breath. She didn’t go that far, but told him, “If you open your teeth it works better.”
He did as she wanted. Her tongue darted out like a little snake and felt for his. He got the idea and let his own tongue wriggle vigorously. It set off a pleasant feeling somewhere else entirely.
-Pierre Frei
BERLIN, a novel

The Beginnings – Part 24: CHAPPED LIPS

May 1, 1983

I telephoned Barbara Reynolds early this morning (8:30AM) to thank her for the post card of the little boy and the clown. I really liked it. It touched the ‘little boy’ inside of me.
I also said, “I bought my new sofa…and I have to read my MAY horoscope to you.”
I know Barbara has ‘a thing’ for astrology so I wanted her insight. She simply figured the same as me.
“You’re on your way to a new apartment…a new start.”

By 11AM I received a phone call from Jackie Woods. We may take a ride to San Francisco next week. She quit her job at the STARGAZE in Fremont because they wanted to reducer her working hours to only Saturday night.
We didn’t talk for very long but she asked, “How are Howard and Lisa?”
What could I say? I felt like telling the truth.
“Well, Lisa is a big ‘zilch’ and who knows about Howard.”
“I see.”
“The good news is that my May horoscope predicts some big changes for me on the 28th of this month. I’m moving to San Leandro.”
“You are?”
“Yes, do you want my new address and stuff?”
“Of course.”
“Okay, it’s 2715 San Leandro Boulevard, Unit 102, and San Leandro, CA 94587. And it’s ninety-nine percent positive that my new telephone number will be 351-6621.”

Doug Siu arranged for the number and is holding it for me at the ATT Service Center…unless a better one comes along.  I know I want a white trimline phone.

I went for a bike ride to see Nici Maurino at the bar on Webster Street. It was such a dive. She says a lot of the local sailor boys come here from the Naval Air Station. I had a quick orange juice and was on the road again. I had the unfortunate luck to witness a bloody mess of two victims from the aftermath of a car accident on Shoreline Drive. Life can change at a mere curve.

I rode my bike on the Bay Farm Island bike paths. I cruised on home after that exhilarating feeling.

I went to MACY’s in my shorts for two silver 5 x 7 photographic frames and two other clear frames (16 x 24 and 11 x 14). I then came home and snapped a few shots of mom and dad.

I ate a salami sandwich and fell asleep while watching a Jack Nicholson film called THE LAST DETAIL. It’s a flick I have on tape but I couldn’t get into the plot. Mom and I ended up watching THE NUTTY PROFESSOR, starring Jerry Lewis a little later. We laughed.

I went to bed, listening to my SAGA cassette tape. That MAY DAY song was playing.

May 2, 1983

I sold my shares of ATT stock with my stock broker, Joseph Costa, at EF HUTTON. I needed the cash.
Joseph said, “You check will be sent by mail in a few days.”
That will be a nice surprise.  After my visit to the EF HUTTON office I went to Emporium-Capwell and looked over some coffee tables. I found nothing of real interest.

Work was kind of a drag today. The day flew by quickly. I found out I won the STAR Contest for my section. Who knows what my prize will be? Maybe I will get another twenty-dollar gift certificate for MACY’s. Believe me; I could use it after my sofa and loveseat purchase.

I telephoned Juanita Lane and we spoke for about five minutes.
Juanita said, “Oh you’ll probably win a gift certificate to LEOPOLD RECORDS.”
“Oh great,” I replied, realizing that all they sell there is soul-type records.
Juanita and I discussed the earthquake in Fresno area. We reminisced at what it might have been like for the 1906 quake in San Francisco.
“All we need is a recap of that!”
“Oh no, don’t say that Michael.”

Tonight I took a nice nap and woke up to watch LEGS. It was a movie about New York Radio Music Hall’s dancing ROCKETTES. I was surprised how entertaining the show came to be.

I sent Ms. Salas, the PTT Advertising Manager a greeting card of an old fashioned Cadillac. I figured I’d try and keep her as a contact, considering she could help me get into Advertising Sales. I still must make time this month to write up a report of some worthwhile marketing and advertising ideas.

May 3, 1983

Work was tiring today. Carol Barling has a monotone way of giving orders. She is so stern. She’s just an Assistant Manager on a ‘power trip’. What a BITCH!

My tub mate, Pat Overshoun, received AX time and was able to go home at 9AM. I was envious. I missed her. It made my time drag on slowly. I’m off from work tomorrow is the only consolation.

There was some good news today. The office Bay Cruise through San Francisco will be on Thursday Night, May 26th. How ironic that it will be on my birthday!

When I arrived home I ate some of Tony’s famous tortellini pasta and rapped with my brother, John, and his friend, Geoff Rookard about the RUSTY PELICAN Restaurant. There is some cocktail waitress there named Danna who is about twenty-two years old that I would supposedly like.
I laughed when Geoff asked, “Why don’t girls ski with mini-dresses?”
That question just cracked me up. When I realized it was a joke, I said, “I don’t know why?”
Geoff said, “Because they don’t want to get chapped lips.”

I feel like taking a drive to The City tonight to simply check out the scene. I felt a need to go for a drive. I just may go ahead and do it.

I did it. I cruised around the city and when I found a parking spot near Church Street I took advantage of it. I walked over to THE GOOD NEWS Card Shop. I love that store but it was closed. Oh well…such is life. It was a fairly nice drive anyway.

I received a letter from Paige today. That was nice. I just may send her that intimate card that I was holding. I think she may be ready for it. I’m ready for the reaction to the explicit nature of it. Ha-ha. Yes, I will do it. I’ll send Paige that erotic looking Valentine’s Day card.

I’m pissed because I didn’t get to tape THE HUNCHBANK OF NOTRE DAME. It’s a classic movie from 1982 with Anthony Hopkins as Quasimodo. Oh well…I win some and lose some.

May 4, 1983
Wednesday

What a great day because I had the day off. When I woke up I watched a morning show called AM MAGAZINE on Channel 7 to see two male and two female body builders. What beautiful bodies!

I receive a sweet call from Barbara Reynolds who happened to be at work.
“I have some relatively good news.”
“You do…what?” I asked, realizing it must be important for her to call me.
“Teri Milham had her last day as supervisor today.”
“Hurray,” I shouted.
She’s that manager who has had it out for me and never gives me good reviews when she sits in on my calls. Good riddens to that big fat, zit-recovered bitch! Now—it seems—we have a new blond supervisor named Kaye. She seems nice.

I took a drive to El Cerrito to the RB FURNITURE store and purchased a modern, contemporary mirrored coffee table and two mirrored end tables that will add a touch of class and beauty to my pad. They should be ready for me in about six weeks.

The rest of my day was spent with mom. We ate a couple of salami sandwiches and watched THE EDGE OF NIGHT. The storyline on that show is so super exciting! When mom left for work at around 3:30PM I took a nap at around 4PM. After the brief sleepy time I awoke and felt energetic enough for a bike ride.

While riding I bumped into Renee Miller and Helen Hayward’s husband, Dave. They were both jogging along the beach. We cruised along together all the way to Alameda Avenue where we gathered with Renee’s mom and her brother, Michael Miller to discuss various topics. We talked about running, eating habits, anorexia, bad photography and Renee’s new perm hairdo. We were at Renee’s apartment. I didn’t bother to mention my move to an apartment in San Leandro. I’ll let it be a surprise.

I received a letter (or card) from Maria de Lourdes in Mexico (the aspiring dentist). She was sweet enough to write and send a photo. I will have to write back to her. I am running out of my ‘run of the mill’ greeting cards. I want to check out that place in Berkeley for some new cards to send to friends.

May 5, 1983

I enjoyed lunch with Salima and Juanita today (my two gorgeous looking black female coworkers). They’re funny and such great gals to be around.

Doug Siu came up for my American Express Card and Social Security number in order to begin the order for my telephone service which will be effective on May 28, 1983. That significant date is drawing closer.

After work I cruised on over on my bike to my GREAT WESTERN 24-Hour Automated Teller at the South Shore Branch. I rode along the beach and the breeze felt so nice. That riding against the wind can be tough but I survived. My music helps. I like that BORN TO BE ALIVE song. It gets me pedaling so much faster.

I telephoned my high school chum, Elisa, during my break time.
Elisa announced happily, “Maybe I’ll come and visit you tomorrow night with little Stephanie.”
“Good…because I really want to take pictures this time.”

Jackie Woods telephoned. We now have a tentative date for Saturday to visit the San Francisco NEIMAN-MARCUS. I guess I better shop around for a MOTHER’S DAY Gift. I bet I could find a nice scarf…or something.

I decided to examine the homosexual underworld (which I knew rather less well than I pretended), and in the process show the “naturalness” of homosexual relations, as well as making the point that there was no such thing as a homosexual. Despite the current usage, the word is an adjective describing a sexual action, not a noun describing a recognizable type. All human beings are bisexual.
-Gore Vidal
CITY AN THE PILLAR

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The Beginnings – Part 23: A FLYING ELEPHANT

Loathing the act of throwing up, this brought me to my senses.
-James Kirkwood
GOOD TIMES BAD TIMES, a novel

Twenty-five years ago today:
July 26, 1987

I found photographs from my camping trip with Johnny in July 1987.   I like that checkerboard shirt of mine of goldenrod yellow and black.  

The camping out excursion made me recall how nice it is to eat breakfast outdoors in a wilderness setting. 

I still can't believe how Johnny miraculously set up that tent.   I could never do it.

I did do a great job preparing the bacon.   I wonder when I will go camping again.   I don't see it happening in the near future.


The Beginnings – Part 23: A FLYING ELEPHANT

April 29, 1983

I shared my letter from the PTT Advertising Manager with my immediate supervisor, Otha McCain. We talked about the ODBE Program and other company internal transfers. I cannot submit for any transfers until November 3, 1983.

I didn’t make it to the cocktail party at the Emeryville Holiday Inn. Instead, I took a nap and was enjoying the rest.

My doorbell rang and it was Elisa. She dropped in to show me her three week old baby, Stephanie Brown. The baby does look a lot like Rick. She has that strawberry blondish hair color. I loved the baby and her cute smile techniques. What a cute and cheerful baby. Maybe I shall drive over to visit the baby on Wednesday. I’d like to snap a few photographs of her.

Tonight I have the urge to take off on an adventure into Hayward to a place called THE ECLIPSE. I decided to go ahead and go. I took a drive to THE ECLIPSE but the external atmosphere left much to be desired. It didn’t impress me, so it was just as well. I merely drove passed the place and now it is raining.
I thought, “The hell with the place for now.”

When I returned home dad was on the telephone talking to my mom’s sister, Betty. I overheard that Howard West’s father had died of heart failure. Howard is married to my Aunt Lillian (my mom’s youngest sister who was born in 1952).

I watched an Alfred Hitchcock film called SUSPICION with my dad. Dad started to doze off into a deep sleep towards the end.
Then he asked me, “What happened?”

My horoscope in mom’s TOWN and COUNTRY magazine was fascinating. It was written that on May 28th or 29th there will be an occurrence which will seal my fate and even change the course of my life! Ironically, I just happened to be moving out on May 28th.

My tentative date with Cathy Ainlay of Walnut Creek was cancelled for a future date. Perhaps we will go out in a few weeks from now. I didn’t really feel like meeting tonight anyway. I just want my shorts back which she has kept since July 1982 when we went to that LOVERBOY Day on the Green Concert. Maybe I will get those shorts back one day (?).

April 30, 1983

I had a strange dream last night. I can only remember that there was this little old lady that I knew who had a baby elephant in her backyard. The elephant started jumping onto the adjacent neighborhood fences and in turn began to fly atop the rooftops of the nearby homes. Is that strange or is that strange? A flying elephant?  It was funny during the dream when some teenage girl looked out of her bedroom window and saw the elephant. She screamed. When her parents appeared in the teenage girl’s bedroom the teenage girl began to vomit pink popcorn balls. They were huge chunks of popcorn. I think that’s around the time I woke up.

I scared and ‘freaked-out’ my brother, John. I put on the YODA mask from the film STAR WARS: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. John was sleeping and I laid down right next to him. When my brother opened his eyes the look of fear and shock on his face was priceless. If only I could have recorded the expression on his face.

As for the remaining part of the day, Mom and I went out to look at furniture at BERKOVICH and SON, GOLDEN FURNITURE and MACY’s. I ended up purchasing a sofa and loveseat (off-white in color) at MACY’s. I also bought two lamps at the MACY’s Clearance Center. I also dropped by THE TIMBERS to show mom my new apartment. It’s all so exciting.

I received a neat postcard today from Barbara Reynolds of a little boy and a clown. I love it. She’s so sweet.

Jim and my cousin, Cecelia Markus, came over to visit my mom and dad. I sat and talked to them at our dining table. We discussed restaurants, food, birds, the zoo, teeth, dentures, my Dad’s retirement at Del Monte Corporation, babies (specifically since my cousin Yolanda Ortega happened to have a baby), Patrick’s prom (Cecelia’s son) night at H’s Lordships in Berkeley and other random topics. Jim mentioned his new truck and I shared the insight of getting personalized license plates. I showed them my new CA plates: ARMIJO5.

I telephoned Renee Miller but she wasn’t home. Nici Maurino was home. Nici and I discussed the idea of driving over to NEIMAN-MARCUS and Daly City next weekend. I may visit her tomorrow at a bar on Webster Street in Alameda. She is working as a bartender part-time in addition to her job at the Pacific Telephone Repair/Installation office. She’s pretty cool at times.  Will she ever settle down?

She wondered how long it would take for her to escape and settle down safely in some other country to create a new identity and a new life for herself.
-Stieg Larsson
THE GIRL WHO KICKED THE HORNET'S NEST

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The Beginnings – Part 22: TWENTY-FOUR YEARS OLD

Uma Thurman: “There’s nothing more boring to me than an infatuated youth. I will never be your mistress!”
-BEL AMI,
2012 motion-picture

The Beginnings – Part 22: TWENTY-FOUR YEARS OLD

April 27, 1983

I really did not feel good today. I felt sick at work. I forgot what feeling sick was like for a while there. Surprisingly, my sales results were good. I took home four miniature bottles of liquor as my prize: Wolfschmidt Vodka, Smirnoff Vodka, Early Times Whiskey and Gordon’s Gin. Ha-ha…like maybe I will actually drink them one day. I should really make a hot toddy with that Early Times Whiskey. It my clear whatever ails me. I’m just not very good at mixing drinks. Where is that bartender brother of mine? John is the bartender in the family.

I guess I will be losing my one-hundred dollar deposit if I don’t move in to THE TIMBERS Apartment in San Leandro on the first day of June. I think it will be a good thing for me to do. It’s time.  They even have a swimming pool there.  It may turn out to be a decent investment if they do convert to condominiums.

No one has called me. I guess I haven’t really chosen to telephone anyone myself. Of course, I did call mom from work. I call her practically every day from work. We discussed my moving out. John’s moving out and Tony is likely to be moving out by the end of this year. I’m glad I’m going to be living on my own. I’ll still be close to Alameda. I will be twenty-four years old and I need to be on my own sooner or later. The setting at this apartment complex called THE TIMBERS is full of trees and the interiors are very contemporary.

After my work day I came home to some tortellini and cuddled up for a nap with a warm blanket. After the good sleeping period I still didn’t feel too hot. I woke up to some phone call from JC PENNEY.
The JC PENNEY guy said, “Mr. Armijo’s roll top desk is ready for pick-up.”
I answered, “Okay.”
I guess it’s probably for my brother, John. This reminds me that I’ll have to shop around for my own sofa and household items.

I telephoned Juanita Lane yesterday and said, “Yeah, I’ve decided to move out from my parents’ house.”
We were interrupted by a phone call from Los Angeles. It was her call waiting service.
She did say, “I think your move is a good thing.”

I also shared the moving out news with Barbara Reynolds. We discussed some other fun subjects like BAM Magazine, the UC THEATER, Photography, her jealousy over my friendship with Juanita Lane and my affection for Juanita, upcoming vacation time and bike riding.

April 28, 1983

Today I received a letter from Dot Salas. She’s a Pacific Telephone Advertising Manager. It was a positive letter. I intend on calling her tomorrow. I was so excited about the letter that I had to share the news. I called Doug Siu and shared it with him. I also wrote a list of questions that I will ask Ms. Salas when I phone her. I couldn’t seem to get myself off of the phone with Doug.
I finally just blurted, “You know, I have to go to LEVITZ Private Furniture sale now.”
I actually invited him along. He met me there. I didn’t see any sofa that caught my eye.

After the LEVITZ visit I took a spin in my car to my future apartment. I noticed in the resident directory that Diane Melendres resides there! I’ve known her since first grade. So that’s one fellow tenant that I know. What a small world after all. The DISNEY song is going in my mind.

I guess Diane Melendres lives with some guy with the surname Williams.

I pressed her intercom number on the directory and Mr. Williams said, “Oh…she’s not home.”
“Oh, okay…just tell her that her old friend Mike Armijo called.”
I think I’ll remain a mystery for a while. I will wait until I officially move-in.

I watched the news program 20/20. Barbara Walters interviewed Mr. and Mrs. Hinckley (the parents of John Hinckley). Their son, John, is the one who was obsessed with actress Jodie Foster and attempted murder on President Ronald Regan. He got off of jail time as it was determined that he was mentally ill. The other story was interesting, too. It was about the loss in profits over the years of Hugh Hefner’s PLAYBOY monopoly. I hope my company (PT&T) won’t meet that predicament over time. There’s no telling what the future holds. Companies come and go. I only hope the big shots at PT&T will recognize my worth sooner or later!

“I am what I am.”
-Stieg Larsson
THE GIRL WHO PLAYED WITH FIRE

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The Beginnings – Part 21: LOVERBOY

“I made the choice to let go of projections and simply be with my walking.”
-Tony Parsons
AS IT IS

April 25, 1983

Today was a big day in terms of sales at work. I sold $427 worth of goods (gift certificates and custom calling services).

Pat Overshoun and I had a great big laugh today. We couldn’t stop laughing about the great, BIG, lady in the order typing department. Pat is my tub mate (sits next to me at my cubicle) and she keeps the job fun. I love her personality.

I telephoned Juanita Lane during my break because she didn’t show up for work. It seems she went to Sacramento to visit her mother who was visiting from Los Angeles. I filled her in on the work day.
“Well, Juanita…we have this sales contest going for this week and we may win. Also, our entire office may be going on a San Francisco Bay Cruise together if we average $5700 in sales throughout this week.”
“Wow, keep up the good work,” Juanita whispered.
Why do people whisper over the phone? I guess she didn’t want someone to hear her. Or maybe someone was asleep.
PHOTO:  Debbie Honcik, Dec. 19, 1987
At my Christmas Party, Alameda, CA

After work I returned home and ate lasagna. I took a nap until my one and only walking partner, Debbie Honcik called me. She came over to visit, too. She met my dad and looked at the photos I took while I was in Piedmont in March. I also showed her my pictures from Mexico. I’ve known Debbie since 1977 when we were both hired at 411-Directory Assistance Operators. We’ve come a long way since then.

I telephoned Doug Siu before I went to bed and shared the news about my move to San Leandro.
Doug said, “Listen Mike, I’ll give you two free telephones when your service is reconnected at the new apartment.”

April 26, 1983

Doug Siu brought his photos from his escape to Carmel-By-The-Sea. They’re excellent. What a beautiful place.

Cathy Ainlay called me from Walnut Creek. She was in Concord and we arranged a date for this Friday night. I met her at that LOVERBOY Day on the Green Concert at the Oakland Coliseum on July 18, 1982. We also saw Foreigner, the Scorpions and Iron Maiden at that concert.  I wonder if she sees me as a LOVERBOY. Ha-ha.  I like when LOVERBOY sings that ‘Working For the Weekend’ song.

I chose to wear all black to work today. After work I went to the UC Theater in Berkeley to see BRIMSTONE and TREACLE and some other flick called RUDE BOY. I didn’t really want to sit through RUDE BOY but the BRIMSTONE flick starred STING from the rock group POLICE. It was interesting and provocative. It was different in its own way.  It was a dramatic thriller about a strange man (played by STING) who had a sinister effect on the family of a middle-aged writer.  
Apparently, Doug called while I was at the movies. I doubt that I will call him back right now. After a half hour I did call him and we actually had a good talk. He’s really a nice guy and I appreciate his sincere, friendly nature. Besides, how kind of him to give me a couple of free telephones from his AT&T Service Center. Who knows? Maybe Doug and I will go to Carmel. I’d also like to go bike riding in and around Golden Gate Park. I think the idea of going in to THE CITY of San Francisco and just taking pictures would be a fun activity. Doug wants to go visit the Danville Blackhawk homes. I’m all for that, too.

He thinks he’s the CAT’S MEOW, she thought to herself, partly amazed that he could actually think so.
-Shyam Selvadurai
CINNAMON GARDENS, a novel

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The Beginnings – Part 20: MY VERY OWN APARTMENT IN SAN LEANDRO

Judy: I know I’m different, but from now on I’m going to try and be the same.
Howard: The same as what?
Judy: The same as the people who aren’t different.
WHAT’S UP DOC,
1972 motion-picture

Twenty-five years ago

July 23, 1987

Stefanni Alexander has been calling me ‘off and on’ all week, telling me how much she likes me. I like her, too. I am looking forward to her visit here on the weekend of August 22, 1987.

I finally got that phone call from the Aussie (Leslie A.) who happens to be in Santa Monica, California right now.
Leslie said, “I don’t really like it here and I want to come up to your area.”
I had expected another call from her the very next day but she didn’t call back! Oh well…such is life.

The flight attendant, Jeff Cooty, called from St. Louis, Missouri.
Jeff said, “Hey, we should meet up sometime when I’m in the Bay Area in a couple of weeks.”
“That sounds good,” I said, feeling rather surprised that he actually called me.
I didn’t even recall who he was at first. I do remember him being so nice on the flight back from Hawaii. I slipped him my telephone number. Who knew he’d actually call?

On Friday night, Carla and I were to see LA BOMBA after dinner. Of course, the planned event never did transpire. I still felt like an outing, so I did a very outrageous thing. I drove all the way down to Los Angeles!

I arrived at 11:30PM and made it to THE RAGE by midnight. I saw my ex-flame, George Jones, looking like a crazed, horny femme fatale with ‘blonder’ hair and light mascara. What happened to him?

I also met John, a visitor from Czechoslovakia. I watched MTV on the video screen with him and a gal named Branca at his hotel. I finally left his hotel at around 5:30AM. They were both asleep.
I asked myself, “What am I doing here?”
And so, I just left.

I was on the road again heading home to Alameda. It was an outrageous, random getaway. I don’t think I’ll ever do it again. I may fly there though.

Stuart Western, my gym buddy, had talked about bike riding on Saturday but that never panned out either.

I watched two films with my mom and dad: ENEMY MINE and BLUE VELVET. After the films I went to bed while mom and dad proceeded to watch PEGGY SUE GOT MARRIED.

Steffani called me from Honolulu again!  I love it when she calls me.

I receive a surprise letter and two postcards from Bill Matson who is now in Provincetown, Massachusetts. He says it’s a beautiful area. I wrote to him. I also wrote to Steffani Alexander, of course.

I felt FAT on Sunday. I believe it is because I have not been doing much physical activity. I was envious of David, a blond, body builder fellow that I had casually spoke to at THE RAGE. He was nice but nothing came of it.

I am really in deep LIKE with Steffani Alexander at this point. She is still my favorite current event. I still cannot help but wonder if the Australian Leslie will ever call me back.

Johnny called.
He said, “I’m recording songs extensively.”
Whatever that means.


April 25, 1983

I decided to go ahead and go to the Alameda Christian Fellowship and meet Suzy, Renee and Michael Miller. After the spiritual experience at their church I returned home for breakfast. The outing was a delightful one ‘in a way’.

I plan on making tentative airline reservations for ‘three’ on June 10, 1983. We shall see if Suzy and Renee ‘chicken out’ on the trip to New York.

My escape at the Santa Cruz Retreat with Michael Miller inspired me to move out and be on my own. I went ahead and did some apartment hunting. I have now given a one-hundred dollar deposit at a place called THE TIMBERS in San Leandro, California. I plan to move-in on June 1, 1983. I cannot believe I will have my very own apartment in San Leandro.  This, of course, depends on the fact that my application will be accepted.  The monthly rent will be $490; however, they have an option-to-buy clause if the place is converted to condominiums. I am told it is a very likely possibility in one year (or so).

Tonight I watched the comedy WHAT’S UP DOC, starring Ryan O’Neal and Barbra Streisand. It was pretty funny.

Mom had made some of her homemade chocolate chip cookies and four sandwiches for me. I’m responsible for bringing lunch for myself, Helen, Susan Espino and Pat Schaefer per our little ‘lunch agreement’. Thank God for my mom. This is definitely the last lunch I bring though. I’m ‘pulling out’ after this lunch. It’s too much pressure.

I did make those New York airline reservations on United Airlines for June 10th. There will be layovers in Chicago—but the trip isn’t carved in stone. Renee is now considering the idea of staying home to simply save up some money.

I went straight to bed after WHAT’S UP DOC. Yawn.

Now and then a memorable idea comes out of these lovely clouds, but much of the piece evaporates after it’s read.
-Christopher Bram
EMINENT OUTLAWS, the Gay Writers Who Changed America
‘The Medium Is the Message’

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The Beginnings – Part 19: GO WITH THE FLOW

It is better, really, to find the elevator frankly inoperable, and to walk up five flights. It is better to be free.
-Michael Cunningham
THE HOURS, a novel

April 23, 1983

Michael Miller and I kept close tabs on our schedule for the day.

6:45AM-7:15AM: Rise and Shine: Mike Miller took a cold shower while I washed up in the basin sink.

7:15AM-8:00AM: I read through some excerpts from Gary Garcia’s bible during this quiet time.

8:00AM-8:45AM: We walked over to the dining hall. I had scrambled eggs with bits of bacon, cheese, potatoes and orange juice. We sat next to the latest speaker named Bill McDonald. He was a bald man who reminded me of my Sacramento State instructor who taught a Communication Studies course on VIOLENCE.

9:00-9:15AM: Mike Miller and I walked in late to this singing activity portion. We were goofing off, taking snapshots of ourselves on an abandoned yellow tractor near the entrance to the camp.

9:15AM-10:15AM: There was a second message given by Bill McDonald. Here are the notes I wrote down:

THREE WAYS TO RESPOND

Should I or Shouldn’t I accept being a Christian?

1. DO YOUR OWN THING. Plan your how LIFE. How?

Live for:

a.) Money (like saltwater, the more you drink the more you want). Money can block out the glory of LIFE and God. For example, think of the game of MONOPOLY. Whether you are the winner or the loser the money goes back in the box at the end of the game. You will feel empty when it’s over. Money is a lure for wealth.

b.) Material Things (wrong way to go and will not be satisfying). The entire world is not big enough to satisfy the human heart. Per Jesus, Happiness comes from renunciation, not in acquiring material possessions. Have only as much as is absolutely needful (only in the relation of Christ…as in having nothing for yourself but OF Christ).

Happiness is a time of simplicity and austerity. For example, living in a beautiful suburban home and eating normal everyday BBQ hamburgers in the backyard for the simple good times. Something worthwhile is within your grasp if you look and strive for it. Serving a purpose for one’s self, others and to GOD is always within your grasp.

c.) Business and Professionalism is NOT your call in LIFE. Represent your interests through self and GOD…not work. Don’t give up the passion of LIFE for that golden-like professional handshake. Danger is when your job is central in your LIFE.

d.) Fame and Worldly Honors are pointless at death and are quickly forgotten. What will we have to show for our LIFE? Don’t live for power, fame and money or you’ll be sorry. You’ll one day meet a man who cares for (more) none of these and you’ll realize how poor you are. That man will be Jesus. No one item will totally satisfy you. That supreme actor only has his fame. That wealthy billionaire only has his money. The only thing that really counts is your purpose in LIFE for the world to come!

e.) Body Culture may imply that one may have three meals a day but he/she may still be starving. Vanity is one’s dressing table and can sometime be seen as one’s altar. Don’t spend LIFE living for your body when in a short time it will be eaten by worms of the Lord. Taking a photo of one’s self is also a form of vanity.

f.) Pleasure can be expensive. A vacation cruise is not always worth it. While your purse is full your mind could be empty. TV and Entertainment is in some ways a Never Never land.

g.) Marriage and Family is important but do NOT live TOTALLY for this.

2. GO WITH THE FLOW

a.) Be passive and indecisive by following in a line of least resistance. Set a goal and do NOT drift aimlessly.

After this lecture Michael and I went to our BASICS Workshop and discussed the goodness of the church and devoting ones presence, practice, prayer, priesthood and participation to the Lord and ‘his words’. This lasted from 10:30AM until 12:30PM.

12:45PM – 1:30PM: Lunch-Pizza, Salad, milk and brownies. I also took a snapshot of some goofs saying, “I am Prince Charming and while I was in Paris I bought a fan that went like this, a top that went like this and a rocking horse that went like this…”

1:30PM – 2:30PM: By now it was raining outside. Mike and I went to our cabin to read. We were burnt out and napped. We missed out on the ORGANIZED GAMES which were scheduled from 2:30PM until 3:45PM. We also avoided an informal question and answer session with Bill McDonald. Instead, we went gallivanting into the woods. We snapped some great pictures because it had stopped raining.

5:15PM – 6PM: Dinner included ham over sweet and sour sauce, rice, broccoli, rolls, milk and ice-cream dessert cups. Yummy. It was filling.

6:15PM – 7:30PM: Finally, Bill McDonald gave us a final message of which I took more notes:

MAKE A FULL COMMITMENT OF YOUR LIFE TO THE LORD

Give your life to the Lord, so that he can choose his will instead of your own choice. Give meaning and devotion to your LIFE to the Lord. Why? If he died for you, the least one can do is live and die for him. Lack of sincerity is how one is when one is without the Lord’s control. An incomplete commitment is when it has set conditions.
1. AN INITIAL ACT: Get down and turn your LIFE around to the Lord.

Give him all, without reservation. Africans gave offerings, not money—yet, one even gave himself.

2. A CONTINUAL PROCESS: Everyday rededicate yourself to the Lord. Use me as thou shall choose. Leave the burdens of your daily LIFE by accepting the Lord as a commitment throughout the day. Lastly, don’t wait for things to happen. Keep busy and make time count for yourself and the Lord. As GOD shows his will for us step by step take any daily situation that occurs.

And finally, Mike drove back to Alameda and dropped me off. We listened to a cassette tape by THE BABYS. I love that song they do called GIVE ME YOUR LOVE. It’s a great song. And in a way, Michael did give me his love in sharing the day by invited me on that retreat. I enjoyed the time I had with Michael Miller, my friend. Tomorrow is another day. I will visit the Alameda Christian Fellowship for the first time and ask Suzy and Renee whether or not they will join me for a trip to New York in June.

Oh, before I forget…I was talking to Barbara Reynolds on Thursday while at work.
I asked, “Did you know that there’s a long-distance number in Chicago, Illinois where you can reach girls and sexual dates can be arranged?”
Barbara laughed and asked, “Did you become a member?”
“No, I don’t need that now. I need a meaningful relationship.”
She replied, “Oh yeah, I know. You have a lot of them already.”
That was nice and very true. I still feel like there’s a real special relationship out there that is needed. I want it and I don’t yet have it. Where is she? Who knows? I may be better off unmarried versus married right now (per the speaker at that retreat today).

I will simply live each day as a rewarding one with God at my side. My silver chain will be my symbol and reminder.

What a fool he would be to dilute this ecstatic time with fears about the future.
“You said you were much weirder than I would ever be,” she said.
“You said it was all right to be weird.”
That delicious vision is what you are.
“If you feel pain bloom inside you, it will soon blossom into relief.”
“Actually, it’s more of parsley and thyme infusion,” the doctor said, “and more for our sake than yours. Have another few swallows, and let it circulate.”
They talked about teacups and time, and the rule of disorder.
Sex is a splendid structure they add to every day. We can only learn so much and live.
-Thomas Harris
HANNIBAL

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The Beginnings – Part 18: LIFE HAS PURPOSE

“I must make my own way.”
-as heard in the 2006 film, MISS POTTER

April 22, 1983

Friday! Yeah!

I was given AX (Excused Absence) time at 3PM. I split the scene and had time to watch THE EDGE OF NIGHT with mom (and John).

Doug Siu gave me a ride in his new 528 BMW to the parking lot across the street from the Emporium-Capwell in Downtown Oakland.

I received a phone call from Barbara Reynolds who wanted to thank me for the card I sent her. She’s sweet.

Helen asked, “Could you call me this weekend about getting together to go to Japan Town in San Francisco?”
I explained, “It sounds good but I already made a deal with Mike Miller to go to Santa Cruz. If I get back at a reasonable time I will call you though.”
“Okay.”

Today was Howard’s birthday; however, both he and Seanne did not acknowledge my phone call from last Monday. And so, the hell with them… I’m worth a phone call as Helen would say. I’m thankful for buddies like Mike Miller. I am waiting for him to show up right now. I’ll fill you in (journal) on the retreat upon my return.

Well, Mike and I left at 5:30PM. We didn’t arrive at the Camp in Santa Cruz until 8:30PM. We listened to some speaker aid. These are the notes that I wrote:

LIFE is real.
Our lives should be lived purposefully.
When we are laying in our graves we should each have something out there to prove that our life was meaningful and that it served a purpose.
We should NOT live each day as work, play and sleep.
We should add a little more to LIFE for ‘you’, others and GOD.
Spend your money on other people as it gives you the greatest reward and not merely on material things for yourself.
LIFE has vast potential.
LIFE has purpose.
LIFE is brief.
Eternity is in our future.
We’re accountable to GOD.
We have been bought.
JESUS is Lord.
Believers are stewards who administer affairs and cater to others.
Souls are dying.
Christians have the answer.
Jesus said, “Go…”
Judgment day is coming and all of our service will be brought into review.

That pretty much summed it up for Message #1 from the first speaker at this Christian retreat. I totally agreed with some of his statements. Michael and I registered and paid our fee (twenty-five dollars each). We ate a couple of strawberry turnovers with hot apple cider and then went to Cabin Number 9 (as in Cloud 9). I slept on the top bunk over a guy named Gary Garcia of Hayward. I actually have a cousin named Gary Garcia (but it wasn’t him).

It wasn’t a very good night of sleep with one of the guys who kept tossing and turning all night. One was coughing and clearing his throat repeatedly. Another guy was snoring and another was supposedly talking to himself in his sleep. Gee whiz! I found out later that it was Michael Miller who was the one snoring. He must have been really tired from the drive. We had ‘lights out’ by 11PM.

“I find that one NEEDS one single pure activity.”
-as heard while watching the 1969 film
WOMEN IN LOVE

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The Beginnings – Part 17: SANTA CRUZ, THE EXCURSION

I rediscovered that secret that I had known as a small child:
It is that of being overwhelmed with a love.
-Tony Parsons
AS IT IS

April 20, 1983

Today went smoothly with my special training at 2000 Broadway for ORTS Training (Concession and Higher Management Appeal Training). After work I came home and spent much of the evening talking to Doug Siu. He started out as Tony’s pal but he’s slowly becoming my friend, too (I guess). He’s a nice, intelligent young Asian guy.

While at lunch today I met a businesslike, attractive young lady named Victoria at the EMPORIUM-CAPWELL Department Store restaurant. She was job hunting and we had a nice talk. I asked for her telephone number.
I said, “I could give you a tour of Alameda.”
She said, “Well, I’m from Martinez.”
She never did give me her phone number.
“So I guess you’re not giving me your phone number.”
“No…thanks for asking though.”
Oh well, once again it’s her loss, right?   She had an aura of superiority.   I couldn't help but fantasize.

And so now I’m home and ready to shower and shine. After my shower I telephoned Renee Miller.
I said, “You know…you, Suzy and I should all go on a trip to New York in June.”
“That sounds like a great idea. I’ll get back to you on it.”

April 21, 1983

Nothing spectacular happened at work except for some handicapped guy in the RTOC (Residential Telephone Order Center) had his transfer accepted as an Advertising Sales Rep. It’s the job I want. I was so jealous.

I was paid today and the Alameda 24-Hour Automated Teller Machine was closed. Why are they called 24-Hour Teller Machines when they’re not always opened 24-hours? I cruised over to Berkeley and luckily, the ATM was working at the Great Western Bank there.

I have decided to refrain from calling anyone. I want to see who will call on me. It’s great to get a phone call. It means that he/she has been thinking of you. I guess I answer phone calls all day at work that I don’t feel like picking up the phone to initiate calls once I’m home.

While I was at the bank I received a phone message from Michael Miller. He invited me to some Christian-like retreat in Santa Cruz for this coming weekend.
I called him back and said, “Sounds like fun…sure, I’ll go.”
I’m looking forward to it. I like looking at Mike. He makes me laugh, too.
Suzy said, “You two could pass as brothers.”
I thought that was funny. Maybe I like to look at myself and that’s why I like to look at Mike.   I 'kind of' do see him as a younger brother.  Oh well, Mike agreed to drive, so I plan to enjoy the excursion.

“I’m very optimistic about what people can do who have the courage to try and the willingness to fail. Because without failure…there is no success.”
-David Geffen
As read in the book by Tom King: THE OPERATOR

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