-Michael Cunningham
THE HOURS, a novel
April 23, 1983
Michael Miller and I kept close tabs on our schedule for the day.
6:45AM-7:15AM: Rise and Shine: Mike Miller took a cold shower while I washed up in the basin sink.
7:15AM-8:00AM: I read through some excerpts from Gary Garcia’s bible during this quiet time.
8:00AM-8:45AM: We walked over to the dining hall. I had scrambled eggs with bits of bacon, cheese, potatoes and orange juice. We sat next to the latest speaker named Bill McDonald. He was a bald man who reminded me of my Sacramento State instructor who taught a Communication Studies course on VIOLENCE.
9:00-9:15AM: Mike Miller and I walked in late to this singing activity portion. We were goofing off, taking snapshots of ourselves on an abandoned yellow tractor near the entrance to the camp.
9:15AM-10:15AM: There was a second message given by Bill McDonald. Here are the notes I wrote down:
THREE WAYS TO RESPOND
Should I or Shouldn’t I accept being a Christian?
1. DO YOUR OWN THING. Plan your how LIFE. How?
Live for:
b.) Material Things (wrong way to go and will not be satisfying). The entire world is not big enough to satisfy the human heart. Per Jesus, Happiness comes from renunciation, not in acquiring material possessions. Have only as much as is absolutely needful (only in the relation of Christ…as in having nothing for yourself but OF Christ).
Happiness is a time of simplicity and austerity. For example, living in a beautiful suburban home and eating normal everyday BBQ hamburgers in the backyard for the simple good times. Something worthwhile is within your grasp if you look and strive for it. Serving a purpose for one’s self, others and to GOD is always within your grasp.
c.) Business and Professionalism is NOT your call in LIFE. Represent your interests through self and GOD…not work. Don’t give up the passion of LIFE for that golden-like professional handshake. Danger is when your job is central in your LIFE.
d.) Fame and Worldly Honors are pointless at death and are quickly forgotten. What will we have to show for our LIFE? Don’t live for power, fame and money or you’ll be sorry. You’ll one day meet a man who cares for (more) none of these and you’ll realize how poor you are. That man will be Jesus. No one item will totally satisfy you. That supreme actor only has his fame. That wealthy billionaire only has his money. The only thing that really counts is your purpose in LIFE for the world to come!
e.) Body Culture may imply that one may have three meals a day but he/she may still be starving. Vanity is one’s dressing table and can sometime be seen as one’s altar. Don’t spend LIFE living for your body when in a short time it will be eaten by worms of the Lord. Taking a photo of one’s self is also a form of vanity.
f.) Pleasure can be expensive. A vacation cruise is not always worth it. While your purse is full your mind could be empty. TV and Entertainment is in some ways a Never Never land.
g.) Marriage and Family is important but do NOT live TOTALLY for this.
2. GO WITH THE FLOW
a.) Be passive and indecisive by following in a line of least resistance. Set a goal and do NOT drift aimlessly.
After this lecture Michael and I went to our BASICS Workshop and discussed the goodness of the church and devoting ones presence, practice, prayer, priesthood and participation to the Lord and ‘his words’. This lasted from 10:30AM until 12:30PM.
1:30PM – 2:30PM: By now it was raining outside. Mike and I went to our cabin to read. We were burnt out and napped. We missed out on the ORGANIZED GAMES which were scheduled from 2:30PM until 3:45PM. We also avoided an informal question and answer session with Bill McDonald. Instead, we went gallivanting into the woods. We snapped some great pictures because it had stopped raining.
5:15PM – 6PM: Dinner included ham over sweet and sour sauce, rice, broccoli, rolls, milk and ice-cream dessert cups. Yummy. It was filling.
6:15PM – 7:30PM: Finally, Bill McDonald gave us a final message of which I took more notes:
MAKE A FULL COMMITMENT OF YOUR LIFE TO THE LORD
Give your life to the Lord, so that he can choose his will instead of your own choice. Give meaning and devotion to your LIFE to the Lord. Why? If he died for you, the least one can do is live and die for him. Lack of sincerity is how one is when one is without the Lord’s control. An incomplete commitment is when it has set conditions.
1. AN INITIAL ACT: Get down and turn your LIFE around to the Lord.
Give him all, without reservation. Africans gave offerings, not money—yet, one even gave himself.
2. A CONTINUAL PROCESS: Everyday rededicate yourself to the Lord. Use me as thou shall choose. Leave the burdens of your daily LIFE by accepting the Lord as a commitment throughout the day. Lastly, don’t wait for things to happen. Keep busy and make time count for yourself and the Lord. As GOD shows his will for us step by step take any daily situation that occurs.
And finally, Mike drove back to Alameda and dropped me off. We listened to a cassette tape by THE BABYS. I love that song they do called GIVE ME YOUR LOVE. It’s a great song. And in a way, Michael did give me his love in sharing the day by invited me on that retreat. I enjoyed the time I had with Michael Miller, my friend. Tomorrow is another day. I will visit the Alameda Christian Fellowship for the first time and ask Suzy and Renee whether or not they will join me for a trip to New York in June.
Oh, before I forget…I was talking to Barbara Reynolds on Thursday while at work.
I asked, “Did you know that there’s a long-distance number in Chicago, Illinois where you can reach girls and sexual dates can be arranged?”
Barbara laughed and asked, “Did you become a member?”
“No, I don’t need that now. I need a meaningful relationship.”
She replied, “Oh yeah, I know. You have a lot of them already.”
That was nice and very true. I still feel like there’s a real special relationship out there that is needed. I want it and I don’t yet have it. Where is she? Who knows? I may be better off unmarried versus married right now (per the speaker at that retreat today).
I will simply live each day as a rewarding one with God at my side. My silver chain will be my symbol and reminder.
What a fool he would be to dilute this ecstatic time with fears about the future.
“You said you were much weirder than I would ever be,” she said.
“You said it was all right to be weird.”
That delicious vision is what you are.
“If you feel pain bloom inside you, it will soon blossom into relief.”
“Actually, it’s more of parsley and thyme infusion,” the doctor said, “and more for our sake than yours. Have another few swallows, and let it circulate.”
They talked about teacups and time, and the rule of disorder.
Sex is a splendid structure they add to every day. We can only learn so much and live.
-Thomas Harris
HANNIBAL
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