Our Feelings

“He who is everywhere is nowhere.”
-Seneca (4 B.C. – 65 A.D.)
Roman Statesman and tragedian

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 31, 1987
Tuesday

It’s funny how I saved the Academy Awards ballot that I found at the REVOLVER bar in Los Angeles. I used it last night in guessing the Oscar winners.  I wanted Sigourney Weaver to win for ALIENS.

Carla should be back to work today. It will definitely make the workplace much more pleasant. I missed her yesterday.

I am thinking of going to Hawaii again; however, I may just stick around and adore my own vicinity. There is Monterey, Carmel by the Sea, Los Angeles, Napa Valley, Sacramento, San Francisco and Santa Cruz. I could easily explore these areas more fully and still have a good time.

I didn’t even call Mark Landreth to wish him a belated Happy Birthday.  It’s still never too late.

This, Teddy Charach, film Director ‘fella’ is ever-so-strange.  I think I’ll “chop” any knowledge of him at this point. His voice on my answering machine sounds a tad too sinister. After all, I’m an enterprising young man with values. He’s not of value so-to-speak (as far as I can see).

Yesterday was a record 81 degrees Fahrenheit in San Francisco. The days have been so beautiful lately.

Johnny Schaefer sent another card yesterday. He wrote: “Oh well, I should look at it as YOUR loss, not mine.”
I thought, “That could very well be; however, even if he does enjoy his hopeful claim to fame I shall not feel any different. I know myself too well.”

Carla seems to be the gallivanting type as she seems to rub noses with a lot of the wrong crowd (drug dealers, guys that literally use her, etc.). She maintains a cheery outlook. She is a good person.
Carla often says, “From where I’m from I had to be tough!”
She is from El Salvador. She has fought with guys.
“You know, Michael, I can’t picture you fighting.”
I laughed, “Neither can I…because I probably wouldn’t.  I think I’d just walk away.”
It’s true. I believe I am too calm, cool and collected.
Michael: My Call; My Calm.

Carla didn’t return to work today. I bet she dreads returning with Paul Margolis back from his cruise. He’s such a nincompoop.

Silly I was seen walking about 'The City' with Freddie again. She’s got a disease called German Lox-1 (or something like that) which causes her to have extra bones. I feel sorry for her. She’s really such a nice lady. We sat over on Market Street and ate yogurt together as we watched the people pass by.

I decided to start a new fad of collecting crisp five-dollar bills and folding them up like footballs. Then I will accumulate them in my black vase at home.

Reuben Ignacio, an old chum from my old office, became officially engaged to be married. The thought has crossed my mind. Wouldn’t a honeymoon in London be nice?

I rode my bike after work and it was a great spin. I saw a QBL (Questionable) or two. It gets to me. It’s especially interesting when one catches my eye in the attractive sense of the word. I rode in my new L.A. blue/pink bike shorts. They’re too hot.  Perhaps that is why a few QBL types gave a second look.

Freddie said, “Michael, I’ll work 8:30 until 5 now. Then you can work 8 until 4:30.”
Her words made me feel good. I’ll be able to RMB (Ride My Bike) longer.

I did telephone Mark Landreth to wish him a Happy Birthday. The big day was on March 27th. He’s the big ‘26’ now.
Mark said, “You know, Debra Tucker called me from Hawaii!”
“Did she really?” I asked, trying to act as if I was interested.
“Yeah, I couldn’t believe it.”
“So what else is new?”
“Not much…same old stuff.  I’m ready to go for a jog.  I’ll call you back later tonight.”
“Okay, sounds good.”
He never did call me back tonight.

Steve Adams, my boss pissed me off yesterday.
“Michael, you should attempt to call a customer at the beginning of a campaign and not just send a letter.”
I frowned, thinking, “I don’t give a shit. I’m getting the work done at least. Shit! My system of the letter and follow-up phone call work for me...so hell!”
I, of course, didn’t argue with what he had suggested. Both Freddie and I agree about our feelings about Steve.
Freddie said, “Oh, he’s an ASS.”
I laughed aloud.
“I think he’s got a personality of a doorknob.”
Freddie laughed.
“It’s sad but true.”
Freddie is my friend.

When night draws back the curtain,
And pins it with a star,
Remember I am still your friend,
Though you may wander far.
-Noreen O’Leary

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Bizarre Love Triangle

Do you intend to spend your entire life admiring yourself?

-THE NAKED CIVIL SERVANT
1975 film about Quentin Crisp

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 30, 1987
Monday

The Academy Award nominations have been given and once again I wasn’t even nominated. Then again, how could I be?

I called that GRIMME Modeling Agency and the representative replied pleasantly by asking, “Could you come in on Wednesday between ten and twelve?”
I don’t see how I can do that in-between my normal work environment and all.

I ought to concentrate on writing my book. I would like to focus on a keen novel of interest. I guess a good start might be a simple outline. Perhaps I keep putting it off. I would really like a PC (Personal Computer) to help me dish out the words more easily.

Carla took another spur-of-the-moment day off again!

Only one more month and I will bridge my service from when I worked at Pacific Telephone. The new representative has more seniority than me, so I doubt that I’ll have the 8-4 shift; however, 8-4:30 is better than my current 8:30-5.

At lunch, Freddie and I walked over to Market Street and ordered the delicious Chow Mein at “B and M Chinese” on Second Street to-go. I saw my brother, Tony, on his way there as we had left.

I gave Eileen a call but she wasn’t home. That’s no surprise.

I remained home all night with the runs. I just plain lounged, watching The Academy Awards. Johnny Schaefer telephoned me at 11:30PM but I was almost asleep and chose not to answer the phone. I was approaching dreamland.
When I heard his message in the morning he simply asked, “I just wanted to know if you heard the Oscar winner results.”
PLATOON was Best Picture.   Paul Newman won Best Actor for THE COLOR OF MONEY and Marlee Matlin won Best Actress for CHILDREN OF A LESSER GOD.

Jeff Sombat called me from Hawaii also, leaving a bizarre message on my answering machine.
Jeff said, “Stefan is drunk…but don’t worry. I had a talk with Carla.”
Then I could hear Carla in the background, talking to Stefan. All seems pretty much okay with them now.  Love Triangles…I tell you!  It makes me think of that song that I love by NEW ORDER called BIZARRE LOVE TRIANGLE.

It was hard to decipher what exactly he was doing there. Was he lover or muse, boyfriend or ideal? -Alicia Drake
THE BEAUTIFUL FALL:
Fashion, Genius, and Glorious Excess in 1970s Paris

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A Very Long Chin

“I tried to get it out of my mind; going through everything I could to draw my attention away.”

-Michael Kozuch
TELLING TALES OUT OF SCHOOL
Edited by Kevin Jennings

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 29, 1987
Sunday

When I returned home from the movie watching with mom and dad I made a phone call to Eileen Grabinsky at one o’clock in the morning. I confirmed that I would call her on Sunday at four o’clock in the afternoon.

In the morning I went to pick-up my niece, Ashley and we went to Chinatown in Downtown Oakland where we met with Margaret Lai and her son, Lance. We ate at ON-ON CHINESE FOOD at ten-thirty in the morning for dim sum. Ugh…but what the hell.
Margaret says, “This is very common to have dim sum on Sundays. It’s a Chinese tradition.”
We went to Washington Park in Alameda with the kids after the meal. I felt uncomfortable being with Margaret. We no longer work together and there’s no point in our seeing each other, knowing how she feels about me. There is no way I’d ever transfer the same feelings for her.
To close our afternoon I said, “You know, I am supposed to call my friend, Mark. It’s his birthday. I guess I can call him tomorrow.”

Jeff Sombat called me from Hawaii as did Teddy Charach, the film director in L.A. Mom heard Teddy’s voice on my answering machine and she made a frown. We both agreed to his ‘strangeness’. We laughed about his odd sounding voice.

Eileen called me later.
She confessed, “I’m so infatuated with you.”
“Well, I guess I feel the same way about you.”
“Why did you go out with me?”
Good question. I don’t remember exactly what I said but I believe it was something as simple as, “I liked you.”

I received my photos and a letter from the Grimme Modeling Agency on Friday. The representative of the firm wrote ‘you definitely have a personality that shows from the camera but what worries me is the camera wing which shows that you have a very long chin’. That was news to me. He did write that he’s still willing to meet with me. That’s a plus in my favor.

I went to mom’s again a after a quick bike ride along the beach. It was crowded…much too crowded at the beach. Ashley was still at my mom’s house.
I love it when Ashley says out-of-the-blue, “I love you, Uncle Mike.”
I hate it when Ashley repeatedly says, “Huh?”

I drove to Hillsborough to see Eileen. We ate sushi on Burlingame Avenue. It was fun. The sushi came along in a rotation of boats and we simply picked the ones we wanted. We spontaneously decided to go to a local Drive-In but we realized we’d missed the beginning part of the movie called BLIND DATE. So we changed our minds and went to a walk-in movie theater and we missed the start of the movie there, too. So we scratched the idea of a movie. We had fun in the back seat of my car as we both tried unzipping my back window in order to automatically bring the convertible top down. I drove back from the theater to Burlingame with the convertible top down, feeling the wonderful breeze.

I parked near her place of residence, looking at the view. It made me yearn for the beach and I shared the thought of my taking the day off tomorrow. We cuddled and kissed.

I got home to Alameda about thirty minutes later to take a quick shower and go to sleep. Yawn.

There are three wants that can never be satisfied: that of the rich who wants something more; that of the sick, who wants something different, and that of the traveler, who says, “Anywhere but here.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
American essayist and writer

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My Cycling Plan

You don’t know the hold our mothers have on us.-Junot Diaz
THE BRIEF WONDROUS LIFE OF OSCAR WAO

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 28, 1987
Saturday

I washed my car and did some domestic chores around the house. I intended on getting my oil changed at OIL CHANGERS but the line was too long, so I decided to leave. I didn’t have the patience to wait when I knew I could be bike riding.

I enjoyed some cereal with mom’s company. It was a beautiful springtime day and I went ahead with my cycling plan. The Alameda South Shore beach was too damn crowded and people kept popping up on the bike path which frustrated me.

I rode my bike home and drove my car to Mom and Dad’s house again. Sherri and Ashley were there. I brought cheese, crackers and juice. Tony and Lauren came by as well. My niece, Lauren, is becoming a true-to-life cutie.

I ended up staying with ma and pa for the remainder of the afternoon and the evening. I watched the TV-Mini Series NUTCRACKER: MONEY, MADNESS and MURDER with them. It was starring Lee Remick and Tate Donovan. Lee Remick played a woman named Frances Schreuder (as in shrewder) who was a sociopathic socialite, plotting her father’s murder. It was a great dramatic thriller.

This is coming from down the line, across the river…DFU (Don’t Fuck Up).
-FAIR GAME
2010 motion-picture
Starring Naomi Watts

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The "New Squeeze"

One day. One choice. Something small, but look how it’s changed us.
-Joanne Harris
CHOCOLAT

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 27, 1987
Friday

Friday is great!

Carla is my best-friend at work. Carla and I had lunch with Sandy Maggiori today. It was Sandy’s last day in San Francisco. She will be working in Directory Sales in Santa Clara beginning Monday. Yes, I am in complete envy.

After work I went home and just lounged after a busy week.

I received cards from Bill Matson and Irene Keenan. The two that I met in Hawaii.

Bill sent a DIAMOND HEAD AT DAWN card that is from an original oil on canvas by CHARIE. Bill wrote:

Hi Michael,


Sounds like you had a good vacation at home…a new outfit and a day in Napa with the “new squeeze”.  Life in Hawaii is about the same…too much time and money spent in MARY’s and HULA’s…lots of sun…a few laughs. 

My nieces (6, 10, 13 years old) will be here to visit starting Thursday for 10 days, so “Uncle Bill” will have to play tour guide, host, baby sitter, etc. We have tickets to see George Michael on April 5th and if they have too much energy I’ll take then on a walk to the top of Diamond Head!

That’s all for now.

Be Well,

Bill

Irene sent a vertical card that included a photograph of the Park Avenue Entrance of the Waldorf Astoria in New York. Imprinted in the card were five words: THE SHOW MUST GO ON. Irene wrote:

Greetings from New York.


How is San Francisco? It’s got to be better than N.Y. which is grey and cold and creepy. Have you heard from Bill? I haven’t. So I wrote him a threatening letter (only joking).


I booked a flight to San Francisco for April 26th. I hope I can still stay with you but if I can’t because you’ve had something come up…just let me know. Even if I can stay until I find somewhere else to stay…that would be great.


I miss Hawaii. I appreciate it now more than when I was there. I’ll write again and call you before I come.


Om Namah Shivaya.
Love,
Irene

I went for a drive to North Oakland and in and around College Avenue. I love that area. I was tempted to see a flick but didn’t feel like going alone.

Solitude can be good. I simply returned home. I ‘hit the hay’ early.

“Aren’t there qualities you look for in people?”
Yves Saint Laurent’s reply is perhaps the most revealing public statement he has ever made about himself.
“No,” he said, “Because ultimately the qualities I see in people are what I perceive them to be. It is my vision of people that counts. It’s all projection. If I am deceived it’s my own doing. What interests me is my vision of others.”
-Alicia Drake
THE BEAUTIFUL FALL:
Fashion, Genius, and Glorious Excess in 1970s Paris

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There's This Guy Who Likes Me

Every man must have those yearnings, and it is his business to put forth strength and sand to get the better of them.

-John Rolfe Gardiner
SOMEWHERE IN FRANCE, a novel

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 26, 1987
Thursday

Jeff Sombat phoned me from Honolulu just as my alarm clock rang this morning.
“I have a problem.”
“What is it?” I asked worriedly.
“Well, I don’t know how to say it.”
“Maybe if you just say it.”
“Well, there’s this guy who likes me.”
“Yeah, and?”
“I am not interested in him.”
“Oh.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Just tell him ‘I value your friendship but there’s a limit and I don’t feel that way about you’.”
As I said it I realized that I should be saying the exact same words to him.

My car gave me warning signs this morning as I was driving in to San Francisco. I thought a fuse may have blown. Now I believe that my battery must be low. I’ve decided to devote my Saturday to my car maintenance. I know it needs an oil change, a car wash, an overhaul with the heating system, a dent repair, a paint job and a battery check.

I mentioned only to Carla about my possible investigation into modeling. I did tell my mom to expect a phone call for me. It’s a possibility that that agency may call at any time.

There are four more openings at Pac Bell DIRECTORY SALES now. All I can do is sit and watch the positions get filled.

Carla and I walked over to Market Street and bought food from THE HAVEN ‘to go’. We sat at some nearby steps and observed the many people.
There was one strange man who kept asking loudly, “Are there any cheerleaders out there who knew Jacqueline Kennedy’s name before Ronald and Nancy Reagan ran for governor?”
He kept asking this question over and over again with only a ten to fifteen second pause in-between. It was so strange. He looked so normal but Carla and I looked at each other and raised our eyebrows. Then we started laughing, of course.

I arrived home and had to rush over to my Brother John’s house because Sherri had not come home. I had to watch Ashley for a while because John had to leave for work.
Ashley said to me, “I love you.”
That was so cute and heartwarming to hear from a little girl. I gave her the bunny rabbit she left at my house. Once Sherri arrived my impromptu babysitting time was over. I went home and took a nap until 9:30PM.

I knew it was late but I decided to go to the gym anyway. I ending up leaving the gym at 11:15PM but it was better than not showing up at all. I had to fill my car up with gas and get some cash from my teller machine anyway. I was so happy that tomorrow was Friday.

I’ve thought of Mark Landreth but I have not called him. I don’t really feel like going out this weekend either. So, I don’t know what I will do.

Marriage is still crossing my mind where Eileen is concerned.
Then I ask myself, “Isn’t it too early to think of that?”
My answer is, “Yes, it is too early…then again, who knows. We’ll see.”

Carla got my mind whirling with regards to people today. She made it clear that we need to be selective about who should get the small amount of time we have on any given day. I thought of calling the Harwinton Pharmacy in Connecticut as she made me think of my old friend, Ron Leoni.
Then I asked myself, “Why should I?”
Ron hasn’t made any attempts to contact me.
Then I thought of my former coworker, Cedric Green, and others.
Carla said, “You don’t owe anybody anything.”
That’s her philosophy and there are parts of me that like her way of thinking. I liked the philosophy the more I thought about it.

Tomorrow Carla and I will share lunch with Sandy Maggiore. And once April 21st comes along I will have seven days off in a row.

Nikki Bovee gave me a recipe for a Vitality Drink today. It includes:
One cup of low fat milk,
Two teaspoons of lecithin granules,
Two teaspoons of wheat germ,
One tablespoon of brewer’s yeast,
One tablespoon of powdered protein,
One-half of a banana (if it’s a huge banana)
OR three-quarters of a banana (if it’s a small banana).
Nikki said, “All of the teaspoons and tablespoons should be heaping, then blend and drink!”

I am lucky. There are American Hostages. There are handicapped people, psychotic ones and depressed ones out there, too.
“I sure am fortunate to be where I am.”
I don’t need to mention how lucky I am to be employed and pondering the idea of being a male model on-the-side per my outsider recommendations.

According to Maslow’s Theory of Needs it could be that fame and fortune are something that I want to feel for a fulfilled total self-actualization. If those things do not happen I will still be as happy as I am now.
PHOTO: 1984-Elton John and wife, Renata Blauel

I put off doing my income taxes for a while and I just finished recently. I heard on the news that only one-quarter of the people in the Bay Area have filed already.

The news also stated that Elton John and his wife are divorcing.
He said, “It was the perfect marriage because I liked men and she liked women.”
It sounded like Michael Dawkins in Los Angeles; however, I’m not so sure if his wife was ‘into’ women.

Once you’ve been moved, you want to be moved again, and more deeply for love and beauty: You’re always left wanting a little more.
-Christopher Bram
SURPRISING MYSELF, a novel

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Just Retire and WRITE

“The thinner the file…the better the agent.”
-MISSING, ABC-TV series
Starring Ashley Judd, Pilot Episode I

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 25, 1987
Wednesday

This morning I was having a pleasant break with Carla.
“You know, Carla, I often write about you in my journal.”
“You do?”
“Yes, I think you’d make a great character for a future book.”
She laughed aloud, rolling her head back a little in her sexy way.

Carla and I ate lunch at MAX’s instead of walking over to Market Street. She was feeling too lazy to walk a few extra blocks. It was a beautiful day.

After work I hit the road on my BIANCHI bicycle from 5:45PM until 6:30PM. It feels good again. I was riding non-stop with no obstacles in my way. After the ride I came home to change and went to browse at the bookstore.

While at home a bit later I learned from my answering machine that I had missed a phone call from Johnny Schaefer in L.A.

I recalled earlier today some of my conversation with Carla.

“You know, Carla, sometimes I wish I could just retire and WRITE! That’s something that I would really like to do.”

“You should just do it, Michael, if that's what you want to do.”

“Yeah…but first things first.”
I thought, “Let’s see how it goes with that Grimme Modeling Agency. I wonder how they’ll react to my photos. They should receive them tomorrow since I mailed them early this morning.”

I telephoned mom today. She’s doing just fine. I’m looking forward to this weekend so that I can see her and spend time with her.

“It’s not that I don’t remember. It’s that I can never forget.”
-as heard while watching
AFTERSHOCK, 2010 dramatic film from CHINA

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A Requirement in Life

“Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.”
-Woody Allen

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 24, 1987
Tuesday

It was another day at the office without Steve Adams around because he is currently assessing for a new Account Collection Representative for our office. Apparently, there is an existing employee within Pac Bell Directory that has passed the assessment tests thus far.

It was Gloria Romero’s Birthday today. It was a fun-filled day. Carla and I went out and selected a card for her this morning.

Nikki Bovee finally saw the Xerox copy picture of me wearing nothing but my black towel and showing off my Hawaiian tan line. She perked up and seemed to love it.

I have finally taken a bit of an initiative by mailing a package to the Grimme Modeling Agency in San Francisco that included a few of my Spectra Polaroid photographs and one good 5 x 7. I wrote a brief cover letter, asking their opinion as to whether my face has any potential. I figured that since so many people (Carla Guzman, Johnny Schaefer, Troy Nelson, etc.) seem to think I would be perfect for this sort of thing I may as well act on it. Paloma had also mentioned it to me. There have been others, so we’ll see what the professionals think about it.

It’s funny to ponder the idea of being on the cover of GQ though.
“Hey, maybe I should buy an issue of GQ and send my photo to the Art Director or Editor there.”

I didn’t bike after work because I wanted to sort through my photographs I order to send the package to the Grimme Agency. I have told no one about this except for Carla who keeps encouraging me to do so.

I did go to the gym. It felt so good. I stopped at SAFEWAY for twenty-dollar worth of ‘food and fixings’. I ate some crackers and a Diet-Cherry 7-UP. The 7-UP is a new product and it’s refreshingly good. I listened to an intensely emotional tape cassette of music that Johnny Schaefer sent to me. It was a surprise. I thought it was rather chilling, pitiful and sorrowful because when two people’s emotions do not match it is quite difficult. I telephoned Johnny but I wasn’t quite sure how to respond about the ballads/lyrics he sent. Luckily, he wasn’t home. Unfortunately, his answering recorder cut me off before I could finish speaking.

Cedric Green is back in the picture as he called me recently.
“Mike, do you think you could draw me a hand for my ‘You Choose the News’ section of the TGIF paper that I have to do for my unit?”
I thought, “Give me a break! As if I had the time for this shit…let him do his own work. I’m too busy. And if I take on this new modeling venture who knows what time I will have.”
I began to wonder if this whole modeling idea would be too time consuming. I know it could be well worth it if things work out monetarily. I work hard because I know it’s a requirement in life to do so.

I telephoned Eileen.
Eileen said, “I’m going to have a talk with Anne about requesting Saturdays and Sundays as my days off.”
“Yeah, that would be great!” I cheered her on.
We continued to discuss the idea of driving down to Los Angeles in April.
I explained, “I’m still going to take that time off as sick time.”
It’s all still up-in-the-air as to whether we will take that weekend getaway.

Carla expects to have her red convertible corvette by June and that’s when she and I are planning to drive down to L.A. for the weekend. Yikes! She shared a story with me and it wasn’t about Augustine. I guess the Augustine fascination is fading fast.
Carla said, “You know, Michael…I had a brief-encounter with some other gent named Saul.”
“What?” I asked. “How did you meet him?”
“I ran into him last night at Bobby McGee’s in Burlingame.”
I thought, “Oh well…I certainly don’t hold it against her. No one is perfect…including me as I know mistakes can be made.”

“I do get a bit restless. I take the old contract on the side.”
-actress Helen Mirren
as a CIA Agent in the 2010 motion-picture RED

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Better Be Careful

“Nothing is over until I say it is!”
-Karen Black
TRILOGY OF TERROR, 1975 film

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 23, 1987
Monday

Eileen was not at home at nine o’clock last night. I am assuming she went to see a movie. I telephoned her from my office today and she was chipper and feeling as happy as sunshine. We discussed the possibility of our going to Los Angeles during the third week of April. I am now having second thoughts about it.

Carla may go to Miami this weekend (or next). I’m envious.

Los Angeles had the biggest $325 Million dollar Cocaine Bust in the history of California. I heard it in the news. I wonder if dreamy green-eyed Gary lost an old source. Carla had better be careful if she’s thinking of making cocaine money. She made a little joke about it…or was it a joke? And now she’s going to Miami. Who knows?

I am going to call Grimme Modeling Agency today for an appointment and see what transpires. Nothing ventured…nothing gained.

It was a great day because Steve Adams had the day off. He irks me with his doorknob personality. He usually sits at his desk quietly all day. There’s no excitement or fun feeling about him. He’s married and I wonder if his wife is exciting. I hope she is (for his sake).

An Account Collection Representative in Los Angeles resigned today. It’s just as well. It’s my identical job here in Northern California and I can easily relate to that action.

I went bicycling after work in my new green bike shorts. It was a good ride. I did a short stint of babysitting for my niece, Ashley, after the ride. I bought her a little Easter Bunny. She picked pictures for my House Book from magazines and started to watch the movie THE BAD SEED with me. We also watched a bit of ALF and VALERIE.

Ashley cried when I turned one of the lights off. Is she afraid of the dark? Well nevertheless, we had fun. Sherri had a friend to take out and her mom (Janet) was sick. I didn’t mind watching Ashley for a few hours.

I telephoned Margaret Lai and confirmed our outing for this Sunday.

Troy Nelson wrote me a letter from Salt Lake City, Utah and the last line he wrote was: “See you in the movies or GQ.”

Carla also mentioned the idea of me looking into the modeling scene. I want to look into it…I guess. I will have to be more serious about it if it’s really something I want to explore.

I wrote postcards tonight to the Hawaiian pals (Carla, Jeff, Stefan), Michael Thoennes, Paloma, John Murrough and Teddy Charach.   I decided to go to Hawaii again.  I just need to figure out 'when'.

007 asked, “Who are you?” after waking from being shot by a sedative gun.
“My name is Pussy Galore.”
007 replied, “I must be dreaming.”
-GOLDFINGER
1964 motion-picture

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