There's This Guy Who Likes Me

Every man must have those yearnings, and it is his business to put forth strength and sand to get the better of them.

-John Rolfe Gardiner
SOMEWHERE IN FRANCE, a novel

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 26, 1987
Thursday

Jeff Sombat phoned me from Honolulu just as my alarm clock rang this morning.
“I have a problem.”
“What is it?” I asked worriedly.
“Well, I don’t know how to say it.”
“Maybe if you just say it.”
“Well, there’s this guy who likes me.”
“Yeah, and?”
“I am not interested in him.”
“Oh.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Just tell him ‘I value your friendship but there’s a limit and I don’t feel that way about you’.”
As I said it I realized that I should be saying the exact same words to him.

My car gave me warning signs this morning as I was driving in to San Francisco. I thought a fuse may have blown. Now I believe that my battery must be low. I’ve decided to devote my Saturday to my car maintenance. I know it needs an oil change, a car wash, an overhaul with the heating system, a dent repair, a paint job and a battery check.

I mentioned only to Carla about my possible investigation into modeling. I did tell my mom to expect a phone call for me. It’s a possibility that that agency may call at any time.

There are four more openings at Pac Bell DIRECTORY SALES now. All I can do is sit and watch the positions get filled.

Carla and I walked over to Market Street and bought food from THE HAVEN ‘to go’. We sat at some nearby steps and observed the many people.
There was one strange man who kept asking loudly, “Are there any cheerleaders out there who knew Jacqueline Kennedy’s name before Ronald and Nancy Reagan ran for governor?”
He kept asking this question over and over again with only a ten to fifteen second pause in-between. It was so strange. He looked so normal but Carla and I looked at each other and raised our eyebrows. Then we started laughing, of course.

I arrived home and had to rush over to my Brother John’s house because Sherri had not come home. I had to watch Ashley for a while because John had to leave for work.
Ashley said to me, “I love you.”
That was so cute and heartwarming to hear from a little girl. I gave her the bunny rabbit she left at my house. Once Sherri arrived my impromptu babysitting time was over. I went home and took a nap until 9:30PM.

I knew it was late but I decided to go to the gym anyway. I ending up leaving the gym at 11:15PM but it was better than not showing up at all. I had to fill my car up with gas and get some cash from my teller machine anyway. I was so happy that tomorrow was Friday.

I’ve thought of Mark Landreth but I have not called him. I don’t really feel like going out this weekend either. So, I don’t know what I will do.

Marriage is still crossing my mind where Eileen is concerned.
Then I ask myself, “Isn’t it too early to think of that?”
My answer is, “Yes, it is too early…then again, who knows. We’ll see.”

Carla got my mind whirling with regards to people today. She made it clear that we need to be selective about who should get the small amount of time we have on any given day. I thought of calling the Harwinton Pharmacy in Connecticut as she made me think of my old friend, Ron Leoni.
Then I asked myself, “Why should I?”
Ron hasn’t made any attempts to contact me.
Then I thought of my former coworker, Cedric Green, and others.
Carla said, “You don’t owe anybody anything.”
That’s her philosophy and there are parts of me that like her way of thinking. I liked the philosophy the more I thought about it.

Tomorrow Carla and I will share lunch with Sandy Maggiore. And once April 21st comes along I will have seven days off in a row.

Nikki Bovee gave me a recipe for a Vitality Drink today. It includes:
One cup of low fat milk,
Two teaspoons of lecithin granules,
Two teaspoons of wheat germ,
One tablespoon of brewer’s yeast,
One tablespoon of powdered protein,
One-half of a banana (if it’s a huge banana)
OR three-quarters of a banana (if it’s a small banana).
Nikki said, “All of the teaspoons and tablespoons should be heaping, then blend and drink!”

I am lucky. There are American Hostages. There are handicapped people, psychotic ones and depressed ones out there, too.
“I sure am fortunate to be where I am.”
I don’t need to mention how lucky I am to be employed and pondering the idea of being a male model on-the-side per my outsider recommendations.

According to Maslow’s Theory of Needs it could be that fame and fortune are something that I want to feel for a fulfilled total self-actualization. If those things do not happen I will still be as happy as I am now.
PHOTO: 1984-Elton John and wife, Renata Blauel

I put off doing my income taxes for a while and I just finished recently. I heard on the news that only one-quarter of the people in the Bay Area have filed already.

The news also stated that Elton John and his wife are divorcing.
He said, “It was the perfect marriage because I liked men and she liked women.”
It sounded like Michael Dawkins in Los Angeles; however, I’m not so sure if his wife was ‘into’ women.

Once you’ve been moved, you want to be moved again, and more deeply for love and beauty: You’re always left wanting a little more.
-Christopher Bram
SURPRISING MYSELF, a novel