The Beginnings - Part 161: "YOU SHOULDN'T LIMIT YOURSELF"

I have always known, and now firmly believe, that the special regard one feels for a certain person is almost instantly known.
-Shyam Selvadurai,
CINNAMON GARDENS, a novel

The Beginnings – Part 161:  

"YOU SHOULDN'T LIMIT YOURSELF"

December 11, 1983

I took Tammy home before 10AM.   It was a pleasant enough drive.

I could only wonder what may have been going through her mind when she asked, “Who was the last person that you ‘made it’ with?” 
I confessed immediately, “Bill Helbush of Concord.”
She was silent.   Did the silence mean anything?  I know she knows I’ve been with boys.   For all I know, she’s the type that may have also been with a girl at one point…or maybe not.

I returned home after dropping Tammy at her house in Hayward.  I showered and shampooed and called mom.   We arranged an outing to Downtown Oakland to do a little shopping at CAPWELL’s.

After the CAPWELL’s visit I decided to ride like the wind, so I hopped on my bicycle.   It was tough riding west.  The wind was rough, but worth it. 

I dropped by at mom’s house after my ride and enjoyed a homemade burger and some orange juice.   The ride and the meal combination made me feel drowsy.   I fell asleep while watching an Ann-Margret film that I had never seen called THE OUTSIDE MAN.  From what I gathered…it was about a French contract assassin hired by a Los Angeles crime family to perform a hit on some other mafia target.    I couldn’t really get into it. 

After my nap I returned to my Townhouse and called Patty about her aerobics class that she conducts on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday.
I said, “I’ll drop by tomorrow, Monday night.”
“Oh great,” she said.
It should be fun.   I trust that it will be.

Bill Helbush, the future mathematician, called me from his liquor store job at around eight o’clock. 

“I’m worried about my linear Algebra test.”
I encouraged him by saying, “You seem to be such a whiz in Mathematics in general.   I’m sure you’ll ace it.”
I appreciate Bill.   I like when he dishes out the compliments.
I thought it was so nice when Bill said, “You actually have brains.”
I laughed, wondering about the imbeciles he may have met before me.   I imagine a lot of the people at the gay skating rink (and elsewhere) are pretty dopey. 
Bill said, “My brother and sister-in-law are in town from Japan.”
He was excited about meeting his brother’s Japanese wife.   I was happy for him.   He seems to be so chipper and in such a great mood.   I wanted it to rub off on me.   I think that is why I like his company.   His intellect and freedom to speak his own mind is attractive to me.   He has this adventurous spontaneity.   That’s a quality I envy in myself (when I happen to bring it out). 

At 8:20PM Alexis called me again.

“Why don’t you come in to The City and we can go dancing?”
How could I turn that down?   And so…I will be driving to her pad at the Granada Hotel.   I will get to view this so-called dance joint called The Trocadero.   Hmmm…it ought to be a very questionable evening.

…I found the Granada Hotel and had to wait for about ten patient minutes in the lobby until Alexis finally appeared.   She was going to introduce me to twenty-year old Randy but he was on the telephone.   We decided NOT to wait.   We went to the Trocadero Transfer Discotheque and had a really fun time dancing the night.   We smiled continuously at each other and talked a lot about one another.   It was a night of shenanigans.  She even brought up the topic of sexuality…in general.   We did meet at the gay skating rink after all.

After I’d mentioned Bill Helbush a bit Alexis alerted me by saying, “You need to be careful with him.   Don’t let yourself get hurt or abused by him.”
I thought this was good advice, but this applies to everyone.
Alexis also said, “And you shouldn’t LIMIT yourself.   They’re out there.”
When she said “they’re’ she was referring to other girls.
She continued, “I know they’d LOVE to go out with you.”
I thought quietly as I danced, “Hmmm…that’s questionable.  Alexis is so different.”

After the Trocadero experience we went to the GRUB STAKE near Polk Street and ate a BLT, omelet and coffee.   It was fun to have breakfast at one o’clock in the morning.   I like her sense of adventure, too.

Alexis said, “We should think about a week in Hawaii next month.”
“Wow…that sounds good,” I replied; however, it seemed questionable.   I need to think on it.  

Mathematics wasn’t like LIFE because in LIFE there are not straightforward answers as the end.

-Mark Haddon
THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHT-TIME