The Beginnings - Part 163: IT FELT SAFE

“The more miserable one is on the inside the more important it is to decorate the outside.”
-as heard while watching the 2002 series,

THE FORSYTE SAGA

The Beginnings – Part 163:  IT FELT SAFE

December 13, 1983, Tuesday

What can I say about work?   It was okay.  I sold eight custom calling features and won a calculator.  It would make an ideal gift for a mathematician.

I decided to telephone Bill Helbush.   I needed to mention the fact that my brother, John, and Sherri left the Townhouse last night and didn’t come back.   In hindsight, it’s clear that he could have spent the night (and with me in the same bed).

Bill had a serious tone, “I wonder if you called just to rub that in.”
I said, “No, I called to see how you were doing…and to find out what you were doing TONIGHT.”
He was still acting rather prudish as he made a snide remark:  “Well, I don’t know I have some growing-up to do.”
I know he said that just because of those two words I shouted at him last night:  “Grow Up!”
And so…now that some of our wrinkles have been ironed out I believe we are still going shopping on Saturday.   The CLOUD NINE play is still ‘ON’ for Saturday night as well.   However, the outlook of our future involvement is something that I am unsure of at this time.   While I enjoy Bill’s company I have trouble with his neutral sensibilities.   I like these sensibilities in him but I don’t see them in me.   I do see our parallels in toughness and kind heartedness. 
I ended the conversation with a mild, “Talk to you later.”
Bill had said, “I could see you anytime this week.  You could see me tonight…skating…or even Wednesday.  You could even come over here on Wednesday night.”
I have decided to NOT call him until I hear more endearing words.   I just wonder if the creep expected an apology from me.   Ha…well, there’s no chance of that!

I called Alexis after my talk with Bill.   Alexis and I made tentative arrangements for shopping tonight.   There will be no skating rink visit for me.

I was home and invited my brother, John, out for dinner.   He refused for some reason or another.   And so, I drove to San Francisco to meet Alexis after she called to confirm that she could go out. 
Alexis screeched, “I just LOVED the Christmas card you sent me!”
I loved hearing that.   I was only pissed-off because my cassette got stuck in the player.   It’s still stuck; however, I didn’t allow it to ruin our evening.   Alexis and I walked around Van Ness Avenue and Polk Street.   We went to Third Avenue where I bought myself two jackets and one sweater for one-hundred and fifty dollars.   We visited the gay clubs called RENEGADES and BUZBY’s.   I felt funny being there with her; however, it felt safe.   We had coffee at LE CROSSANT and were grossed out by some lady with dirty ankles.  
I said, “I hated the vibes in those two gay bars.”

She mentioned the week in Hawaii idea. 
“I’m all for it,” I said excitedly. “Then again…I would like to go somewhere different next year.”
Alexis and I had a good time shopping around.   We actually kissed goodnight.   Could this be progress where we are concerned?   I made tentative Friday night plans for getting together again.

I drove home safely.   I was home with my journal in no time.  I needed to write and summarize the latest.  I’m now ready for a good night of sleep.  Yawn.

“I’m on good terms with solitude.”
-as heard while watching the 2002 series,
THE FORSYTE SAGA