The Beginnings - Part 106: THERE'S A CATCH OR A SCHEME

There will be days that turn your life around:  D.D.D.A.R. Days.

DISGUST:  The day you’ve had it with the way your life is going.

DECISION:  The day you’ve decided what you do want; however, getting on with it is easier than deciding.

DESIRE:  The day you’ve got to internally want it, search for it, look for it, ask for it and develop it.

ACTION:  The day you take yourself there.   Not just a knock or a talk…but massive action.

RESOLVE:  The day you really do it.   You’re there.   You’ve discovered the human challenge and how tough it is to die.   Do or die.

-Michael J Armijo

PHILOSOPHICAL STATEMENTS

The Beginnings – Part 106: THERE'S A 'CATCH' OR A 'SCHEME'

October 16, 1983

Last night Mom and Dad confided in me that they may buy another house on Lilac Street.   They have the cash. 

I suggested, “There’s a lady at work named Susan Espino who is looking for a four-bedroom to rent.”

Dad said, “Let’s see if our offer at one-hundred twenty-six thousand goes through.   You can mention it to her though.”

“Okay, I will.”

I have a great feat to write about.   I completed ten laps along the beach (on my bike) from nine o’clock this morning until 11:30AM.   It was a good feeling.   I didn’t even feel very tired afterwards.   It’s probably because the winds were mild.  

I went to mom’s for breakfast and then came to my pad to read the book SIX DAYS OF THE CONDOR, a novel by James Grady.  It was made into the film THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOR.  It’s one of my very favorite films.

Nici called and asked, “Would you like to come with me to Daly City to meet my dad?”

“Not this time because I have to go to Sunnyvale to get some money that a friend owes me.”

It was true.   George is supposed to pay me about one-hundred dollars and we’re going to see the BRAINSTORM movie.

Jackie Woods called me also.

She said, “I called you last night.   I wanted you to meet me at StarGaze.”

“Oh well, I was with my folks, watching that Lesley Ann Warren mini-series.”

George called to say he had to work until seven o’clock.   Now I’m waiting for his next ‘green light’ phone call about driving down there.   What a drag.   Who knows if we’ll ever see Natalie Wood in BRAINSTORM?  

Mom stopped by with my brother John.  They had some good news.

“Guess what?”  John asked.

“What?”
“I won seven-hundred twenty dollars for the World Series.   I bet on the Orioles.”

“That’s great!”

I was proud of John.   It worked in his favor this time.  

John said, “I’m thinking of quitting that bar-back job at GALLAGHERS.   I may want to move-in here, too.”

I thought it was good for him to be thinking about new opportunities.   I hope he does move-in with me.   It would be fun.

George never called me all evening.    It upset me.  I decided to phone him at 8PM.

George’s mother answered the phone and said, “He’s not here.”

By 8:30PM I had given up and went to bed around nine-thirty.   I knew he wasn’t going to call me.   He failed to keep his word.   I was pissed.   I guess something better came along.

Twenty-nine years ago today:  October 17, 1983

Work was cool.   Salima is slowly becoming my very favorite coworker.   Of course, Barbara Reynolds and Helen Wong are close runner-ups.   I completed Salima’s WTS (Waiting To Serve) work.   She thanked me with a short note.   I wrote a note right back to her and it thrilled her.   She especially liked my new acronym:  L.Y.V.M.  (Love You Very Much). 

While on the BART train I saw my old supervisor, Inez Jones, who now works in Berkeley.   I still say she should be a VOGUE Cover model.   She’s one high-class looking black woman.

I had a reception of visitors this evening.   It was my brother, John, and two of his friends (Robert Gaspar and Geoff Rookard).    John’s SONY TV was delivered here, so I assume that he will be moving-in with me.   If he is paying dad $225 per month that is exactly what I will be paying.   This is good news.

I received my new California Driver’s License.   I think the photo looks fairly decent.   It looks like me.   I think I may grow my moustache again because Salima suggested I do it.   And so…I think I will for a change (for a while).   After all…For Things To Change, You Have to Constantly Be Changing As Well (inside and out). 

I telephoned George and he seemed pleased to hear from me.

I did pointedly say, “You know…I wasn’t very happy about last night.   And when you say you’re going to call at such and such a time and then not keep your word it pissed me off.”

He sighed and shouted, “You know…you stood me up once for Tammy’s party!”

This abruptly thrown statement gave me much insight.   It’s like I caught him right there.   He’s a good liar, fibber and ‘what have you’.   I can detect his fibs.   I’m sure he lied about his having to work on Saturday night because he was going on and on about these things that he’s done.   I knew it couldn’t have been possible if he didn’t do them on Saturday or Sunday night.   How could he have been working?    I know he just didn’t want to make me feel disturbed because he wanted to spend time with other friends.   These so-called friends may be of value to him in some way.

For example, George said, “I watched THE MAKING OF A MALE MODEL while at Steve and Scott’s apartment.”

He also disclosed outwardly, “I saw Kevin and his older gentleman friend.   His older friend showed me a fantastic mansion in Los Gatos.   He thinks I should quit my job at FIBREGLASS and pursue investment ventures with him.”

“What kind of ventures?” I asked.

“He mentioned Business Management of QUIK STOP stores or something like that.”

“I guess it’s your decision.”

“Yeah, but it seems like there’s a catch or a scheme.”

“You never know.”

“Yeah, but the guy seems to be ‘legit’ when I look in his eyes.   It’s like he cares.”

“Of course, he seems caring about two younger ‘fellas’ named Kevin and George ‘making it’.  He wants you guys to be successful in terms of wealth and prosperity…like him, right?  Or could he maybe want something more?”  I asked sarcastically.

“Maybe so…and on Friday night I went out with a couple of other friends named Jim and Chris.”

I didn’t comment.   Who knows where he went with them?    Oh yes, he said they went to MARINE LAND.   I had forgotten because I lost track with all of the names he was suddenly mentioning.   I thought I knew him but I guess I don’t.  

George added, “This Friday I’m going to see some Carol Burnett show or something with Jim and Chris.”

“What else have you been doing?”  I asked, wondering if there was more.

“Well, I’ve been spending my days off with my sister, Cathy.”

It made me wonder about the times that he says he is with his sister, Cathy.    Could it just be a scapegoat, so he doesn’t have to tell me who he is really spending time?   Oh yes, I could tell I’ve caught this young man in multiple lies.   It’s very transparent.   It’s okay though.   I think he just doesn’t want me to feel that he deliberately doesn’t want to see me.   He clearly needs to make time for his other friends because ‘in the long run’ he knows he’ll benefit from these friends in some way.  

George makes a good point.   Great friends are worth a million bucks.   I just wish he’d tell me the honest to goodness truth because I know he has lied.   It’s clear he doesn’t want me to feel bad. 

He also said, “I ended up getting off of work at eight o’clock last night and stopped home for a quick minute and ran out again to help Fred with his broken down car.”

Fred is the guy that gives him a ride to work.   Why does this statement sound like poppycock?   It’s his excuse for not calling me back.

Oh well, I went ahead and drove to Sunnyvale on this Monday night to see him.  George and I saw an excellent motion-picture anyway.   We saw BRAINSTORM finally.   It moved me to see Natalie in her last movie.   It was touching.   After the flick we ate breakfast at the COACHMAN’S LOUNGE.   I made love to him on his roll out sofa bed with his mom sound asleep in the other room.   We made it quick with as few moans and groans as possible.   It was worth every minute.

I drove home and was back in Alameda by one o’clock in the morning.  I am still bewildered about George’s ridiculous fibs.   I wonder if I should confront him with what I suspect.   Should I simply let it go?    Another factor is that his old Stanford University friend, Rob, called him.   George had to slip this fact in to me.

George said, “I haven’t returned his call though.   I’m thinking of introducing him to Harry.”

I didn’t even bother to ask, “Who is Harry?”

 We did have a good, spontaneous evening.   I disliked his talk about money and material things though.   This doesn’t impress me at all.   However, Tammy seems to be the same way.  

I now recall last Friday night when Tammy said, “I went to this fancy Fashion Show in San Francisco with Jeff.” 

It’s all about money, material things and social gatherings.   They’re only things.   It’s not reality:  realness, closeness, honesty, friendship.   Fun is what counts.   Money, material things, and social events are NOT always the most important contributing factors.   It is about how a person feels at a given moment during an original experience.   The movie, BRAINSTORM, depicted it with Louise Fletcher during her thoughts just before her death.    The meaning of life is as simple as fun memories.   Now…I must sleep and listen to an old cassette tape I have called ADVENTURES IN ACHIEVEMENT.   I may learn something new.

Man needs not only strength but moderation (avoidance of excesses and extremes, absence of violence).  There is always a time for calmness.

-Michael J Armijo

PHILOSOPHICAL STATEMENTS