The Beginnings - Part 125: GENTLE ON MY MIND

When I walk along some railroad track and find

That you're moving on the back roads by the rivers of my memory

And for hours you're just gentle on my mind.

-excerpt from the song, 

GENTLE ON MY MIND

The Beginnings – Part 125:  GENTLE ON MY MIND

Salima came to my desk and said, “Michael, I didn’t know you had personalized license plates.”

I laughed.   I guess she noticed my ARMIJO5 plates this morning.  

Pat Schaffer, the big-mouthed, big assed twerp, butted in and said, “I didn’t know you had personalized plates either.”

It was a mellow and reasonable work day.   I ended up working from 8:30AM until 1PM.   It was just a simple training day about the AT&T DIVESTITURE procedures.  

After work I drove home and my brother, John, was lounging with the football game happenings.   I glanced at my mail.

John said, “Oh…some girl called.”

I immediately thought it might have been Paloma.

“Did she have an accent?”
“I don’t know…I guess.”

I called Paloma right away and we had a nice chat once again about our getting together on Monday.   She told me about her love for Women’s Body Building.

I said, “Well, I’d love to go bike riding in the Berkeley Hills.”

I don’t think she was up for biking but she confided in me about her pain from her oral surgery.   She was concerned about her appearance and the possible future black-eye that may remain.

“Oh, the black-eye will go away,” I said, “But if we go out the restaurant might think I beat you up.”

She laughed as I tried to cheer her up.   

When I hung-up the phone with Paloma I went bike-riding.   It felt good after not riding in a while.   Two unknown gals waved at me.   I followed them as the wave spurned me on into excitement mode.  

As I was riding by their car I said, “Try and catch me.”

They simply waved goodbye when I passed them a second time.

One of the girls yelled from the window, “Follow us to San Leandro!”

I laughed.   I was too beat to try and catch up with them.   I decided to just ride to mom and dad’s house for a quick egg salad sandwich with a freshly iced glass of orange juice.  

Dad said, “I was over at your pad because a couple of guys had to check on the roofing.   When I was there some guy named Steve called.”

I realized it could have been Steve Mooney, my sixth-grade classmate I saw on Halloween night.   I wondered if he wanted to go out dancing tonight.  

I learned that the girl that actually called me (per John) was not Paloma.   It was Tammy.  I laughed because she does have a way of putting on a fake accent.   No wonder my brother, John, was confused.  

Tammy said, “I decided to call your mom’s number to see if you were there.”

So, she found me.   She was fishing to find out what I was doing tonight.

“Well, I’m supposed to go to some play.”

“I see.   Well, I have to go because I’m not about to stay home on a Saturday night.”

When she hung-up I thought, “Whatever…but it was flattering that I was her number one choice for this evening.”

My brother, John, left for work.   Steve Mooney (if it was him) never called back.

Jim called.  I made dinner reservations for us at GALLAGHER’s in Jack London Square for eight o’clock.   Who knows what else we will do after that?   We may possibly try to see a Comedy Show in San Francisco.   We also have matinee reservations for tomorrow (November 6^th) at THEATER ON THE PARK for a 2PM show of the TORCH SONG TRILOGY.   It ought to be fun and educational.

I believe I need Paloma now more than ever.   Perhaps I need Tammy, too.  

I am forecasting what the outcome will be between Jim and me.   I believe we will eventually become better friends.   I can only wonder if he has other ideas up his sleeve.   I just feel so guilty when I am with him because I don’t want anything to grow between us.   It’s just that I am torn now that Paloma is so much more ‘gentle on my mind’.    I love that song by Glen Campbell.   It very much pertains to Paloma.

GENTLE ON MY MIND lyrics:

It's knowing that your door is always open and your path is free to walk
That makes me tend to leave my sleeping bag rolled up and stashed behind your couch
And it's knowing I'm not shackled by forgotten words and bonds
And the ink stains that have dried upon some line
That keeps you in the back roads by the rivers of my memory
That keeps you ever gentle on my mind

It's not clinging to the rocks and ivy planted on their columns now that bind me
Or something that somebody said because they thought we fit together walking
It's just knowing that the world will not be cursing or forgiving
When I walk along some railroad track and find
That you're moving on the back roads by the rivers of my memory
And for hours you're just gentle on my mind

Though the wheat fields and the clotheslines
And the junkyards and the highways come between us
And some other woman's crying to her mother cause she turned and I was gone
I still might run in silence, tears of joy might stain my face
And the summer sun might burn me till I'm blind
But not to where I cannot see you walking on the back roads
By the rivers flowing gentle on my mind

I dip my cup of soup back from a gurgling, crackling cauldron in some train yard
My beard a roughened coal pile and a dirty hat pulled low across my face
Through cupped hands round a tin can I pretend to hold you to my breast and find
That you're waving from the back roads by the rivers of my memory
Ever smiling, ever gentle on my mind

I sent Paloma a CAT EYES postcard.   I hope she likes it.

My brother, John, said, “I almost bought a VCR today.”

I can’t wait for him to really make the purchase.

Just before Jim arrived at my house I received another phone call from Paloma.  I LOVE IT when she calls me.  Once again we had a nice (but rather short) talk about what my plans were for this evening.

Jim and I had a nice dinner at GALLAGHER’s.   While we were having our cocktails I saw my brother, John, and his friend, Marty, working there tonight.   I also spotted Debbie Follrath, a high-school gal a year or two younger than I.   She was looking ever-so-ravishing.

I confided in Jim, “Boy…did I…and do I…still have a crush on that one.”

Jim commented, “You have good taste.”

The dinner was put on my tab!   It’s okay.   I didn’t mind.   After dinner we lounged around and Jim could feel the distance between us.   It was me.   I didn’t want to get involved or really initiate any sexual moves because I would have felt too guilty with Paloma ‘gentle on my mind’.    The past experience with George was telling me to back away from this male-to-male crap.   I wanted to see the ‘better’ sex (?).   A little voice was telling me to date Tammy or Paloma or possibly Debbi Follrath!    Then I thought of Rick Clark and the mad crush I had on him, wondering if that would ever be possible (?).

Jim and I drove out to Martinez with plans to sleep together without my little brother coming in at 3AM to be confused (with seeing me in bed with another guy).   While in Martinez, about all we did do was sleep.  Nothing else!   I wasn’t ‘into the scene’.   Jim seemed very depressed, thinking I was not attracted to him. And now that I look twice I find that I am really NOT totally attracted to the fellow.   His snoring aggravates me, too.  Ugh!   I couldn’t believe that he had TEEN-16 Magazines in his bedroom night table drawers.  What a child molester! Ha-ha.

…but from the very start I felt myself lost in her world.

-Arthur Golden

MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA