The construction of sexuality: a distinct field of personhood, linking affective desires and physiological responses in a matrix that was central to the definition of one’s personhood, was initially a distinctly bourgeois production.
-George Chauncey
GAY NEW YORK
The Beginnings – Part 130: HANDSY…AT THE I-BEAM
Tuesday, November 10, 1983
Paloma did call me after all. She shared the details of her busy day. There was the veterinarian, the dentist, the hospital visit to the fifteen year old girl with the appendectomy. We also confirmed our date tonight. We may go to the I-BEAM in San Francisco now. I hope it turns out for the best. In other words, I hope to find myself in her arms for most of the evening.
“Thank you again for sending me those cards, Michael.”
We summed up our conversation when I said, “Until tomorrow.”
I hit-the-sack…Yawn.
The work day finally passed and I was looking forward to my date with Paloma. It was one hell of a rainy day though. The news showed storm warnings with regard to driving over the Oakland Bay Bridge. This was not good news with our arrangements to go to the I-BEAM club in The City.
I met Paloma at Ashby and San Pablo Avenue. It made it easier than trying to find the house in the Berkeley Hills. She got into my car and I drove to San Francisco. Our topics of conversation included the crappy weather, Lisa’s appendicitis, her dental surgery and how ecstatic we both were at finally being together.
“I love your hair. It even looks good when it’s messy.”
She laughed and said, “Thanks a lot.”
I didn’t mean for it to sound so unkind. She knew that.
As far as her smoking I simply asked, “IF you have to do something with your hands why not just put them all over me?”
She laughed.
It was nice hearing the RED RED WINE SONG by UB40 play at the I-BEAM club. It was meant to be for them to play it while we were there.
Paloma said, “I do understand some of the words to this song.”
We also walked along the Haight-Ashbury district, looking in at some of the shops. She liked to peer in at the clothes in the windows. We discussed Ann-Margret, Nastassja Kinski and Madleen Kane (the sexy, Swedish singer). It was funny because we had no idea of what to expect as far as what clothes we would wear. After all, we met on Halloween night while I was wearing a diaper and she was in the Tarzan’s Jane get up. She was so fashionable. I think she thought I dressed pretty nicely, too. I said, “I didn’t want to be too ‘handsy’ with my hands all over you.”
She said, “I appreciate that.”
We laughed as she said, “I thought I was being too handsy with you.”
“You did?” I asked.
“Yes, I love touching your chest.”
I loved her willingness to say how she felt. That statement turned me on. Her green eyes sparkled. Our shirts glowed in the dark as we danced at the I-BEAM. We had such an excellent, fun time together on this night. The screwdriver cocktails were helpful in loosening up our feelings. It was fun to see the video screen at the club as they played GIDGET GOES HAWAIIAN, THE BICYCLE and RICHARD NIXON.
I drove over the Bay Bridge and reached Ashby and San Pablo easily. We parked near her car and kissed ‘frenchly’ and divinely. She ignites me. I really think we are sparking into LOVE. She left my car. To our dismay we discovered that her passenger car window was bashed in and glass was scattered. I carefully took the big pieces of glass out with the help of her Cheetah stuffed animal. It was sad but a bit hysterical. We kissed again.
I arrived home at the exact same time that my brother, John, arrived from working at GALLAGHERS in Jack London Square. I was sleeping as soon as I hit the pillow at 3AM.
Once, for almost a month, she had felt as if she were walking on air, all because a complete stranger, in the middle of that very square, had given her a flower.
-Paulo Coelho
VERONIKA DECIDES TO DIE
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