The Beginnings - Part 138: WE COULDN'T DECIDE..

He always made me aware of how much he counted on my advice, my assistance, my secrecy, since aside from me he had not a single friend in the world outside, and no experience at all with that world.   I admit that I liked to feel this, and that it contributed a good deal toward my trusting him completely and my putting myself more or less at his mercy.
-Hermann Hesse

THE GLASS BEAD GAME, a novel

The Beginnings – Part 138:  WE COULDN’T DECIDE…

Friday, November 18, 1983

Work was actually fun today.   Salima and I cracked jokes all day while Judi, Salima and I played hangman in-between calls.   It was a lot of fun.   I love it when the monotony of my day is broken.

I heard some snide remark from fellow coworker, Ruben, about the photo of Paloma at my desk.  He’s just jealous.   I don’t value his Filipino opinion ‘at all’! 

David Vigil stopped by my cubicle and said, “I will be at ECHO BEACH this Saturday night…around midnight.   You should come!”
“Okay, maybe I can get Paloma to go with me.   I might drop in.”

Paloma telephoned at around six o’clock.   I guess her phone was fixed (thanks to my call to repair).

She said something I didn’t like, “I may be going to see a movie with Matt.”
I believe that’s who she had said...Matt.  Outrageous!
“Oh yeah?” I asked, foolishly.
“Yes, I will call you later.”
“Well, my friend, Steve and I might go out to see a movie.   So if I’m not home that’s where I’ll be.”
“Okay.”

I went ahead and drove to Southland Cinemas to meet Steve in Hayward.   We couldn’t decide on what flick to see; whereby, we decided against a movie after all.

Steve and I ate a little dessert at the 24-Hour CARROW’s Restaurant nearby.   Then we went to my pad in Alameda and ended up watching that funny show called FRIDAY NIGHT VIDEOS.  
I said, “You know…you can spend the night here if you want.   Then we can go to that car show at the Moscone Center in The City tomorrow.”
“Okay,” Steve said nonchalantly.

I was a little uncomfortable with Steve at first.   He’s a nice guy but he’s so quiet and it is so difficult for me to know what he his thinking.   He doesn’t say anything unless I am straightforward with my questions.   I believe he pretty much likes me now.   We went to bed.   He felt fairly “comfy” in the spare third bedroom, sleeping on my futon mat.   It had to be this way because my brother, John, would be arriving at around three in the morning from his bartending shift.   If things were different Steve would have slept with me in my bed but it’s probably best that we not jump into anything right away anyway.   I prefer to take it slow and easy.   Why ruin a good relationship with eager intimacy?   I know it was on both of our minds.  Tomorrow will be fun as we play regular guys, going to a car show.

“I feel a bit better if I stop thinking.   It’s called mind over matter.   If we don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
-Emma Donoghue
ROOM, a novel