Now or Never

He was suddenly aware of how tired he was;

The nervousness that had raged through him the entire night had exhausted his ass.
The longer they went without speaking the more morose he became.
-Junot Diaz
THE BRIEF WONDROUS LIFE OF OSCAR WAO

Twenty-five years ago today:

May 31, 1987
Sunday

I slept until 10:30AM on this restful Sunday.
The telephone rang. It was mom.
“Do you want to come over for breakfast?” Mom asked.
“I’ll be right over!”

I felt rather lazy today. I ate breakfast with ma and pa and then returned to my pad to lounge and read a book.

Ashley was brought over and we went to the beach. I followed that with a visit to the ICE CREAM Dock.
Ashley remembered when she ordered the boysenberry ice-cream with me the last time.
Ashley said, “I don’t like the purple ice-cream.”
I laughed as it was the company of an innocent child that I needed today.

I watched a couple of videotaped movies later: CRACKED UP and INFIDILITY.

While home I decided to write Eileen one last ‘Now or Never’ card. Then I went to bed. Yawn.

“You won’t die, will you?”
I like to think…we start again. In a new body that isn’t old or sick. Or in a bird or a tree…but no one really knows.
-Joanne Harris
CHOCOLAT

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Picnic on LAKE CHABOT

It is not a smile that plays about his lips, but there is something there: a look of detached amusement. Or is it bold complicity?

-Alicia Drake
THE BEAUTIFUL FALL: Fashion, Genius, and Glorious Excess in 1970s Paris

Twenty-five years ago today:

May 30, 1987
Saturday

I woke up at 8:15AM and went for a morning job to the end of Shoreline Avenue, near the beach. It’s feeling good to do this continual routine of the jog. I need to keep up with it.

After my run I washed my car in my driveway.
Mom called and asked, “Do you want to go to that Petite Boulangerie?”
I laughed at the way she pronounced Boulangerie and said, “Yes!”
We had fresh cinnamon rolls once we got there.
Mom needed to vent about her job.
“What happened?” I asked, as I could tell there was something on her mind.
“I was spoken to about NOT staying for mandatory overtime.”
“I hate that!” I said, “You do the work of two people and they just want to work you to the bone.”
She shrugged it off but I know I made her feel better.
She works the hardest while some of her other coworkers are so lazy.

“I don’t blame you for leaving. You get out at two o’clock in the morning and they want you to stay until four or five in the morning. That’s crazy!”

Mom and I went to SAFEWAY for a few things. I bought some wine for my picnic outing with Eileen today. I tried going to PAYLESS but they ran out of film. Luckily, I found some at SAFEWAY.

I picked up Eileen in Hillsborough. At first, she was embarrassed to see me in my new WILKES-Sport shorts. I was wearing the vertical striped gray and black shorts.
I asked, “What? They look cool to me?”
She tried not to giggle (and I didn’t like it because I knew she wanted to laugh at me).

We departed for our picnic on Lake Chabot. I actually paid two-dollars to park my car. She didn’t want to walk from the street (spoiled brat).   I photographed her next to a parked ALFA ROMEO.

“This is MY car,” Eileen screamed, “I wish.”

I rented a paddle boat and it was fun. It was a good workout for our legs.
Eileen said, “I can feel it in my stomach.”
“That’s good!”
She rolled her eyes.
“I don’t feel it in my stomach. I wish I did.”
We were in the middle of the lake and we decided to munch on the fresh Bing cherries that I had brought along. We also sipped on the White wine. She had to chase it with Cherry 7-UP. I followed her moved.
“What did you bring?” I asked.
“It’s a surprise.”
She pulled out a roast beef sandwich. It was so delicious.
I teased Eileen about her shoes, “They look like the shoes that withered under the house in the Wizard of Oz!”

She laughed hysterically as I photographed 'The Wicked Witch' shoes.

After our time in the lake we left Lake Chabot and I drove through the San Ramon, Castro Valley areas and on to Danville. We were hungry again, so we stopped at FOSTER FREEZE.
A very well-endowed bosomy girl came by while we were there. She really caught my eye. She had a body that wouldn’t quit.

We returned to my place in Alameda and took more pictures. I took a fun one of her sitting in the tree.

We walked to my brother’s house. John had gone to work but Sherri took a photo of us. We returned to my pad. She kept playing ‘hard to get’. It was not planned…it just happened.
She suddenly said, “I know this wasn’t planned but I want to date other people.”
I felt the ceiling cave over me. I felt very hurt.
I wanted to yell, “I’ve had it!”
I didn’t yell though. I just realized that it was totally her loss—not mine. I drove her home and barely said two words. After I dropped her off I found myself driving on that stupid El Camino Real. I finally found a freeway sign and made it all the way back home.

Here is the world, and you live in it, and are grateful.  You try to be grateful.
-Michael Cunningham
THE HOURS

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A New Buddy

Seventy percent of the body’s sense receptors cluster in the eyes, and it is mainly through seeing the world that we appraise and understand it. Lovers close their eyes when they kiss because, if they didn’t, there would be too many visual distractions to notice and analyze—the sudden close-up of the loved one’s eyelashes and hair, the wallpaper, the clock face, the dust notes suspended in a shaft of sunlight. Lovers want to do serious touching, and not be disturbed.

-Diane Ackerman
A NATURAL HISTORY OF THE SENSES

Twenty-five years ago today:

May 29, 1987
Friday

It’s BOB HOPE’s Birthday today.  He’s a GEMINI, like me.

Work was all right. Carla returned to work. We had lunch together at the deli on Third Street. It was nice. She’s very irresponsible though. I just learned today that her license was taken away; yet she drove to work anyway! She’s too much.

After work I napped and then hit the gym.

Scott Lauer was at the gym again.
“When are you leaving?”

I knew he wanted a ride back to the Alameda Naval Air Station, so I said, “About ten minutes.”

During the drive he was having hungry pangs, so we stopped at KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN on Encinal Avenue. He treated me.

“So, where in OHIO are you from?” I asked after I bit an Original recipe thigh, “I once met a really nice girl from Akron in Hawaii.”
Scott answered, “Oh, it’s a really small town called Stone Creek. It’s near Canon or New Philadelphia.”
It was all foreign area to me and he could tell from my facial expression that I had no clue about Canon or New Philadelphia.  I wondered what it would be like to live in such a small town. He’s a nice chap though. He is only twenty years old.
Scott said, “I thought you were…like twenty-two!”

I laughed and said, “I thought you were about twenty-two!”

“You did?”
“Yeah, I might have even believed twenty-eight.”
He smiled. I think he wanted to look older.

Scott didn’t feel like going straight to the Naval Air Base, so I suggested a movie. We went to WHEREHOUSE RECORDS. I selected the movie. I wonder if I had hidden notions considering the title I selected: THE SURE THING.

We watched the movie at my place. THE SURE THING was a 1985 film starring John Cusack who played a college student planning a cross country trip to get laid. He ends up traveling with a young woman and they hate each other until they begin to 'grow and tolerate one another'.  It was one of those love-hate things that reminded me of Rachelle Davies.  The movie also made me think of Eileen and I.

I silently thought, “Yes, to Scott. He’s QBL,” and asked myself, “…but how can I be sure?”
I drove him to the Naval Air Station Base. It was my first time driving in there and I’ve lived in Alameda for most of my life. It was a fun evening. I fell like a made a new buddy. And now I was home alone.

There was a faint air of sadness about him now. He enjoyed the change. He imagined that he looked like a young man who had had an unhappy love affair or some kind of emotional disaster, and was trying to recuperate in a civilized way, by visiting some of the more beautiful places on the earth.
-Patricia Highsmith
THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY

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He Got My Hint

Body odor comes from the apocrine glands, which are small when we’re born and develop substantially during puberty; there are many of them scattered around our armpits, face, chest, genitals, and anus. Some researchers conclude that a large part of our joy in kissing is really a joy in smelling and caressing each other’s face, where one’s personal scent glows. Among far-flung tribes in a number of countries—Borneo, on the Gambia River in West Africa, in Burma, in Siberia, in India—the word for “kiss” means “smell; a kiss is really a prolonged smelling of one’s beloved. -Diane Ackerman
A NATURAL HISTORY OF THE SENSES

Twenty-five years ago today:

May 28, 1987
Thursday

I met Tom Morin, the District PB-Yellow Pages SALES MANAGER of Sacramento today. He was ‘the creep’ that sent me a note ‘way back when’, stating that I wouldn’t fit the bill as a Yellow Page Sales Rep. with the competitive environment out there. What a jerk!

I received a new BENNETON Pullover shirt from Jeff Sombat from Hawaii in the mail (for my Birthday) today. I wrote back to him as well as to Paloma and Eileen today.

I had an exhilarating bike ride after work. I think I have jock itch again. I believe it’s because I wore those bike shorts. I detect a bit of my body odor. The bib shorts I ordered from a bike shop in Marina Del Rey, California. They probably need a good cleaning.

I had lunch with Cedric Green and Freddie today. It was nice. We talked about occurrences (of absence on the job) and disabilities from work (very important subject, Ha-ha). We can’t seem to get around these topics as employees.

I made it to the gym and ‘sure enough’ Scott Lauer was there from the Alameda Naval Station. I find him ‘QBL’ (Questionable) but I cannot be sure.

Stewart Western was also at the gym for a second day in a row. I guess we’re all hyped-up about getting in-shape for summer.

Scott said, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay,” I replied.
Then he walked back over to me and said, “You know, I might need a ride back to Alameda tomorrow.”
“Oh sure, I can drive you,” I said happily.
Scott added, “Yeah, I’m going to Wolfgang’s or the Palladium in San Fran tonight.”
I forgot that he’s not twenty-one yet. You can get into those clubs when you are over eighteen. He’s twenty but he looks my age. I was happy about having a better workout tonight compared to yesterday.

Mark Landreth called me when I got home.
“I thought you might have called me because I just got a crank call.”
I laughed, saying, “It wasn’t me.”
“The guy whispered that he was Cindy and wanted to give me a blow job.”
I laughed again, saying, “Well, rest assured it wasn’t me. If I was going to say that I’d just tell you up front.”
He didn’t really react. I don’t think he got my hint (or if he did--he simply remained silent).
Instead, Mark changed the subject and said, “You know, I’m thinking of joining the gym again.”
“You should. If you want…I can inquire about getting you a deal.”
“Okay…do that. I’ll check on Saturday too…then we can compare deals.”
“Sounds good.”

Jeff Sombat called from Hawaii.
“Hey Jeff, I got your shirt. Thanks so much. I really like it!”
“Oh good…I was worried about whether it got there or not.”
“Yes, in fact, I sent you a card about it.”
PHOTO: Mark Landreth and Poison Ivy
at my Christmas Party on December 19, 1987

Oh yes…Mark Landreth also said, “My camping trip was quite an adventure.”
I knew he had gone with Ivy and asked, “Oh how was it?”
“It was really cold and windy. It hailed a little and people’s tents were flying about.”
I couldn’t help but laugh silently.
I said, “Well, maybe it’ll be better next time.”
“Yeah.”
I asked, “How were the sleeping arrangements?”
He didn’t really share any details about Ivy. How boring is that?  I had to dig for more information.
“How did you keep warm?” I asked.
He still didn’t get my hint.
“Or…did you lose your underwear?”
Again, he didn’t disclose any scoop. He didn’t even mention my Birthday. Alas, it’s just another day now, isn’t it?

I tried calling mom at 3:30PM this afternoon but she’d already left for work. I must have just missed her.

When I phoned Eileen Grabinsky we set a date for this Saturday. We plan on going on a picnic with a chilled bottle of Beringer White Zinfandel.
“This will be so much fun,” I said, “We can take a paddle boat on Lake Chabot. You’ll love it!”

While saucy Roman poets like Catullus wrote rigorously sexy poems about affairs with either sex, Ovid wrote charming ones about his robust love of women, how they tormented his soul, and about the roller coaster of flirtations he observed at dinner parties.
“Offered a sexless heaven,” he wrote, “I’d say no thank you, women are such sweet hell.”
In one of his poems, he cautions his mistress that, since they’ve both been invited to the same dinner, He’s bound to see her there with her husband.
“Don’t let him kiss you on the neck,” Ovid tells her, “It will drive me crazy.”
-Diane Ackerman
A NATURAL HISTORY OF THE SENSES

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Lucky Charms

PHOTO: June 6, 1987
Michael J Armijo and Scott Lauer
Ocean Beach, San Francisco, CA

I didn’t have enough information and could easily leap to the wrong conclusion which is a dangerous thing to do because you should make sure you have all the available clues before you start deducing things.
-Mark Haddon
THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHT-TIME

Twenty-five years ago today:

May 27, 1987
Wednesday

It was a rather stressful day at work. Carla was out sick once again.

A Sacramento supervisor called-in to complain about me because of a payment arrangement I made with a delinquent customer. It didn’t allow her to sell more to the customer, so she saw it in a one-sided way (in her favor). It got to me but it shouldn’t have. There are a lot of new delinquent accounts coming in. The job is a ‘real bitch’. Freddie and I mutually discussed how we ‘hate the damn job’.
Freddie made me laugh when she described our boss, Steve, with white, clammy skin. I added to his description with my ‘goobery doorknob personality’ phrase.
“That personality doesn’t help,” I whispered to Freddie.
She laughed hysterically and couldn’t stop. These little secrets make our job fun.

After work I napped and went to the gym where I ran into a number of friends, including Dave Trapp, Mark Geberhart, Scott Lauer (the twenty year old Alameda Navy base fellow), Stewart Western, Russ, Angela, Patty, Anne Alberti and Steve Green.
Anne Alberti actually stopped and made a point to talk with me while I was on the rowing machine.
“I like your shorts,” Anne said.
“Thanks, I picked them up at Wilkes-Sport in the City,” I gasped as I was huffing and puffing.
It was just small talk but I enjoyed the acknowledgement.

Mark Geberhart had previously mentioned lunch in the City, so I said, “I only have one-hour lunches now.”
It doesn’t seem like much time.

Scott Lauer asked, “Are you coming to work out tomorrow?”
“Yep, I’ll be here.”
I thought that was a cool question. Did he ask me that for him to decide whether or not he would show up? I guess I’ll find out tomorrow.  I like his biceps.

Stewart Western said, “Hey, we should do a run along the San Leandro Marina sometime.”
“That sounds great!”
“Maybe the first weekend in June,” Stewart suggested.
“Okay, let’s do it.”

Steve Green asked, “What are you up to this weekend?”
“Not much planned…my Birthday was yesterday.”
I figured the Birthday remark was a good change of the subject remark. He didn’t continue with the weekend plan questions after that.   I bet he felt guilty for not remembering.

I felt rather popular at the gym today. Could it have been the sexy Wilkes-Sport shorts that caught everyone’s attention? Ha-ha…who knows?

I called Tim Lewis of Wilkes-Bashford Sport at his home. I simply left a message on his recorder. If he calls me…great. If not…later days!

I telephoned Eileen. Guess what? No answer, of course.

I ate almost a whole box of LUCKY CHARMS when I got back home. I was starving and that was the easiest thing to munch on. There was nothing on the tube, so I turned-in early.

Johnny called me from L.A.
“I recorded that song A TIME TO CRY tonight,” Johnny announced happily.
He was so excited about it all. I hope his songs become hits. I’m encouraging him, but that is such a sad song. The title alone makes one want to cry.

I dread work but payday is tomorrow. I refuse to miss out on my morning and afternoon breaks anymore. I need that time for my own psyche. In a way, I’m glad I have that hour lunch because I need that time to breathe as well. Yawn.

Something new, a silent time of deeper thinking, had entered my life, and I associate it with those afternoons of silent reading.
-Janet Frame
JANET FRAME, AN AUTOBIOGRAP

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My 28th Birthday

Having children changed you. It gave you the necessary stake in being grown-up, so that certain parts of you---old parts---could be altogether eliminated and abandoned.
-Alice Munro
OPEN SECRETS, Short Stories

Twenty-five years ago today:

May 26, 1987
Tuesday

It’s my 28th Birthday. I don’t feel any older.

Of course, Paloma has impeccable timing. She wrote me a letter dated May 22, 1987 and I received it today on my Birthday. She included a floral card and wrote:

Happy Birthday Michael!


I hope you’ll get this card on time. As you can see I started writing you a letter about a month ago and never finished it. I’m still waiting for my baby but now he should be here anytime. I have to go to the hospital every three days. Isn’t it amazing that he might have the same birthday as you and my stepmother! I’ll let you know and I’ll send you some pictures pretty soon.


I’m glad you still think about me as a special friend. I do, too. And I miss you very much. I always remember things we did together like that first time at the I-BEAM, Red Wine, Santa Cruz and the VALENTINE’S Evening we went out together. Those are great “souvenirs”.

Well, I better send this card right now or I never will. I’ll try to call on your birthday but I might not be able…if you see what I mean. Anyway, I’ll talk to you soon.


Hope to read you soon. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Love,
Paloma

In the included sheet of paper Paloma wrote the letter she never finished until now:

5-22-1987, Marseillan


Dear Michael,
Thanks for your card as usual. I was really happy to hear from you, even if I miss your long, long letters!


Thanks also for your CONGRATULATIONS. Just stop talking about working out and let’s forget about my shape. See, it’s not really that I’m fat but I’m going to have a baby in about 5 weeks, so I have this humongous tummy, kind of like a twenty year beer drinker. Of course, I can’t work out. People (I can’t call them friends) keep telling me to so some swimming. Just forget it. There is no way I’m going to walk around in a bathing suit. That’s funny how before I used to find pregnant woman really pretty. I really like it better when I’m not the one though!


Oh well, that makes me forget a bit about all of the abdominal work outs I’m going to have to do. To think that I’m going to have a little baby…I already love him very much. I feel him move all the time. It’s so weird!

Alexandre is the father, of course. We live now in the South of France, right next to Montpellier. I don’t know if you’ve heard about that city. We both stopped working for CLUB MED. We were supposed to go back to Africa but I was pregnant. We decided to keep the baby. We’re not married but I guess we will someday—after the baby’s born (for him). Alexandre’s been married once before. He is divorced. Now he works in some HOLIDAY Resort. Believe it or not he takes care of the gym. Well, right now he is helping to fix it and buying machines. I guess I’ll work out there in the future. I’m not working. I can’t anymore. I’m just playing the perfect housewife, cooking and stuff. I can’t really say that I’m that happy about it. Well, sometimes I enjoy it.


The weather is nice and I can lie out in the backyard, but I feel really lonely. I don’t know that many people here.


Here is my new address (until at least next winter):
C/O Mr. A


34340, Marseillan FRANCE

My special day started as soon as I woke up and made it merrily to the office. Lily bought some warm pork buns for the office ‘in celebration’ of my Birthday. Freddie brought donuts.

My brother, Tony, gave me a phone call.
It was funny as he asked, “Why don’t you bring me a slice of your cake—if you get one?”
He was probably serious, too.

Carla didn’t show up nor did she even call me on my Birthday. That was disappointing.

My Birthday Cake did appear after lunch. All of my office workers sang ‘Happy Birthday’. I actually blushed and cut the cake. It was really very nicely done.

I left the office at 4PM and headed for Hillsborough where I promised to see Eileen. I was surprised. She cut her hair! It’s still long—but not as long. She bought me an extra-large ALL AMERICAN SPORT T-Shirt with a bicyclist pictured on it. It’s great. I love it.
I said, “You’re too sweet!”
Her hair looks good. It actually makes her look a bit older—not sixteen anymore, but twenty.
I said, “Just think…once your braces come off you’ll look twenty-one!”
I didn’t stay with her for too long. I was stuck in a traffic jam getting on to Highway 880 in Hayward before I finally got home to Alameda.

I had a group sing-a-long on my answering machine. I think it was from my ex-section of coworkers at Pacific Bell. IF it was them…it was a nice gesture.

Chris Cordellos arrived at 7:20PM and he bought me a GUESS Pullover shirt (light blue). That was really nice. I wore it to HORATIO’s in Berkeley where we ate dinner. I ordered the Alaskan Halibut. Our waitress, Laurie, was from Pleasanton. She was so nice to us. It was a very nice dinner.

Chris and I talked about that trip to London in November. We returned to my house in Alameda and he left for Concord. He has to be at work tomorrow and then he has five consecutive days off.

Chris mentioned that he and Linda (his black girlfriend/pal) are probably going camping or driving to L.A. during his time off.
I watched MISS UNIVERSE on TV after Chris left. The 4th runner-up was Miss Puerto Rico. She was actually the prettiest through my eyes. The 3rd runner-up was Miss VENEZUELA, the 2nd runner-up was MISS USA (from Texas) and the 1st runner-up was MISS ITALY. The winner, of course, was MISS CHILE. Her teeth weren’t exactly pearly white (ugh).
PHOTO: Cecilia Bolocco, Miss Universe 1987

Johnny called me from L.A.
He said, “Hey! I finished my recording session. I’ll probably stay at my folks’ house in El Toro while my parents are away on vacation.”
I went to bed after his phone call, realizing that I had a very nice Birthday. It was a Tuesday and a work day, too. It’s my New Year’s Day, so starting tomorrow it will be strict gym visits.

The Hawaii trip is on 4th of July (and not so far away). Johnny had mentioned he may come up here to the Bay Area in July. I didn’t bother telling him that I have plans to go to Hawaii. He may get the wrong idea. Then again, what the hell…I owe him no explanations.

‘We’re the Laurel and Hardy of inventors. Well, this is another fine mess you’ve gotten us into.’
I still lived in a dream of self, only to wake up periodically, wildly look around and grab for something that proved I could control my life.
…locked up here with ---?---I couldn’t afford to worry about us. But enjoying our situation did not feel dishonest to me.
-Christopher Bram
SURPRISING MYSELF

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Being Super Sweet

You would think as you get older your mind would fill up with what they call the spiritual side of things, but mine just seems to get more and more practical, trying to get something settled.

-Alice Munro
OPEN SECRETS, Short Stories: Carrie Away

Twenty-five years ago today:

May 25, 1987
Monday

It was the Memorial Day holiday.  Jeff Sombat called me from Hawaii to say, “Happy Birthday”! That was nice.

I rented a movie called RUTHLESS PEOPLE. It was okay. The other videotape I rented (DOWN AND OUT IN BEVERLY HILLS) was defective, so I never did really see it. It was truly a lounge about sort of day…quite nice.

Tony, Helen and Lauren stopped by and gave me a ‘stamp of a bike’ and some underwear for my birthday. The underwear was a little odd---but I’ll use them. Ha-ha.

Mom came over to wash her car in my driveway. I didn’t mind. In fact, I liked the company. Tony couldn’t help himself and decided to wash his car, too. I didn’t wash mine though. I just didn’t feel like it.

Chris Cordellos called to wish me a Pre-Happy Birthday.
Chris asked, “Hey, do you want to go to dinner tomorrow night?”
“Sure, that would be great.”
He’s too cool.

I watched a TV-movie called MURDER ORDAINED. It was based on a true story.   I took a quick shower.  As I was getting ready for bed the phone rang.

Eileen had finally called me. It was 11:35PM.
“Oh Mikeee…Happy Birthday!”
She was being super sweet.

“Why don’t you come over here tomorrow night…when you get out of work?”

I’m such a sucker for sweet talk. I think I will go over to see her. I think I will. I can still be back to Alameda for my dinner outing with Chris. Why not?

Tomorrow is my birthday. I keep thinking I need to work out more. I will make the time. Tomorrow is my very own personal New Year’s Day. It’s time for a new beginning.

He liked to plan his seductions like a military operation.
She had remarked casually: “Every girl likes to get a present.”
-Edward Rutherford
LONDON, the novel

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While in the AIR FORCE

He had to think, he had to order his thoughts.

-Shyam Selvadurai
CINNAMON GARDENS, a novel

Twenty-five years ago today:

May 24, 1987
Sunday

Today was more of a lounge about kind of day. I slept-in and then I heard about the mass of crowds at the Golden Gate 50th Anniversary Celebration. I was glad I wasn’t there amidst the many people.

Bill Matson called me to see about arranging a dinner outing with him and Irene.
“That’s sounds great,” I replied.
“Oh good because Irene plans to leave in about a week.”

Chris left early and I went over to mom’s for a bite to eat. Mom and I took a drive to see the house that Tony and Helen submitted an offer for in Castro Valley. They bid an offer of $225,000 on a house on a street called Arlington Isle.   I'm sure they'll get it.

I was wearing Tony’s shirt that belonged to him while in the AIR FORCE. He didn’t want it and gave it to mom to donate it.   I stumbled upon it and I liked it.  I thought it would be fun to wear with Memorial Day coming soon.
I think Tony said something like, “Nice shirt.”

Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to be in the AIR FORCE.  I still admire how my brother, Tony, managed to serve four years.

Since we weren’t far from the Hayward Cemetery I accompanied mom to place flowers on her father’s grave (my grandfather: Fidel Alexander Lucero). When we returned to mom’s house we watched IN SELF DEFENSE.

I watched QUEENIE (the movie my mom videotaped).   I was up way past midnight, watching it.

Johnny called from L.A.  Jeff called from Honolulu.

There’s no word from Eileen except for the card she sent me. In the card she wrote: ‘I’m available next Tuesday, Wednesday Night and Thursday’.

The man who sees the funny side survives.
-Martin Booth
The Industry of Souls, a novel

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These Type of Events

Ever since men first lived on earth, some have had more than others. Some lend and some borrow, and so it will be for some time to come.
-Bette Bao Lord
SPRING MOON

Twenty-five years ago today:

May 23, 1987
Saturday

Cedric called me this morning.
“Hey Mike, we didn’t get to talk enough last night. Why don’t we go to Santa Cruz today?”
I surprised him with my quick answer, “Okay, let’s go.”
Then we kept talking and I said, “You know, the weather was pretty bad last Monday in Santa Cruz.”
We ended up putting off the idea of driving down there today.
Cedric added, “You know, I got a new convertible.”
Was I supposed to be impressed?   I wasn't.  I think it’s a BMW convertible. Maybe that means—when we do go to Santa Cruz—he’ll volunteer to do the driving.

I went jogging from 8:45AM until 9:45AM. It was a good run from my house to the end of the beach.

I enjoyed a good breakfast with mom and dad.

By 7PM (or thereabouts) I was meeting with Chris Cordellos. He drove from Concord to Alameda and then we went in my car to NATIONS for a bite to eat.

After the meal I drove to the Old Fillmore on Geary (in San Francisco) for a PICTURE SUMMER PARTY.  It was okay. I saw a lot of interesting hairdo types. I guess Chris is in the hairstyling business and gets invited to these type of events all the time. Chris and I bought a 4-pack of wine coolers which we drank before going in to the place.
Chris said, “It’s always better to walk in with a buzz.”
I laughed. We left at about 1:20 in the morning.

Chris ended up staying over at my house. That was okay with me. He had to leave in the morning though because he was scheduled to work at 11AM the next day. We had a fun night out. There was no leading him on.

It’s often said that writers sometimes need to go around the block a few times to get where they’re going.
-Christopher Bram
EMINENT OUTLAWS
The Gay Writers Who Changed America

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Where Are You From?

He would have guessed her age at somewhere just on the better side of thirty. A woman whose considerable looks were at their peak and whose understanding of the world had sharpened past youth.

-John Katzenbach
THE ANALYST

Twenty-five years ago today:

May 22, 1987
Friday

After work I decided to walk over near Union Square to the WILKES SPORT shop. I rekindled a meeting with Timothy Lewis. He works for WILKES-BASHFORD and he actually remembered me from when I dropped in to the store last November. I bought some black vertical-striped shorts and a green sweatshirt/jacket and a turquoise blue WB polo shirt. Timothy threw in a yellow and white tank-top for me. That was mighty sporty of him. We briefly discussed the idea of biking together some time.
“Where are you from?”  I asked because he was so friendly.
Timothy said, “I’m from the Monterey peninsula originally.”
He’s a nice chap but I’ll probably never hear from him again.

I went to FUJIYA’s and had a Michelob beer as I waited for the arrival of my former coworkers from Pacific Bell. Laverne and Stephanie arrived first and then the rest of my old Section ‘G’ showed up. I met Edward and was surprised to reunite with Cathie Tingle after three years of not seeing her. We used to work together at the Oakland RASC (Revenue Account Service Center) and she recently transferred to the SDC. Dale Orlando didn’t make the birthday event for Pearl. Cedric Green showed up though. I’m glad I found a fun Birthday Card for Pearl. She was happy.

After the dinner many of us went to CHANNELS (formerly BARNABY’s) for drinks. I saw Christy McQueen. She’s a friend of Cedric’s but I actually remembered her from my old Directory Assistance Operator days way back in 1978! She’s a real party-type.
Some Mexican gal asked me, “Could I see your ID?”

She didn’t work at the restaurant and claimed to be an undercover cop. That was wild. Do I really look under twenty-one? A little later I realized it was all a ploy for her to get to know me. She wanted to dance with me. She was kind of ‘ugh’ though. She could have been close to thirty years old. After a dance with her I joined my group and we cracked a few jokes. Laverne drove me to my car. I was home by ten-thirty. It can be exhausting to go out after work on a Friday. Yawn.

“I’ve always wanted to live by the seaside.”
-Lucy Muir
THE GHOST AND MRS. MUIR, 1947 motion picture

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Big Deal...

One of the most soothing things in the world is to put your tongue to the roof of your mouth right behind the teeth and sing la, la, la, la, la, la, la. When we sing, not only do our vocal chords vibrate, but so do some of our bones.

-Diane Ackerman
A NATURAL HISTORY OF THE SENSES

Twenty-five years ago today:

May 21, 1987
Thursday

SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE Headline:
IRAQ Says It Will Pay for Attacking Frigate

On 17 May 1987, an Iraqi Mirage F1 attack aircraft launched two Exocet missiles at the USS STARK USS, a Perry class frigate. The first struck the port side of the ship and failed to explode, though it left burning propellant in its wake; the second struck moments later in approximately the same place and penetrated through to crew quarters, where it exploded, killing 37 crewmembers and leaving 21 injured. Whether or not Iraqi leadership authorized the attack is still unknown.


Initial claims by the Iraqi government (that Stark was inside the Iran–Iraq War zone) were shown to be false, so the motives and orders of the pilot remain unanswered. Though American officials claimed he had been executed, an ex-Iraqi Air Force commander since stated that the pilot who attacked Stark was not punished, and was still alive at the time. The attack remains the only successful anti-ship missile strike on an American warship.

At Pac Bell Yellow Pages Account Collection Office we have reduced from 103 delinquent San Francisco (book) pending accounts to forty-three. That’s pretty good word I’d say.

As I’ve mentioned before, it’s great working the 8AM to 4PM shift. I’m just very bad in that I keep taking a nap once I get home. The mental exhaustion of work makes me feel like I really need the nap.

I gave Chris Cordellos a call and we had planned on meeting up; however, it seems that both his brother and sister have job interviews tomorrow. Why that has to interfere with our meet I’ll never know, so I’m out of the picture.
I chalked it up by saying, “Oh well, we can just meet up another time.”

I went for a short, brisk bike ride and spent some time reading the local Alameda Times Star.

I definitely decided against the idea of the Oakland Airport Shuttle chauffeur job.

I watched some TV and laughed during PORKY’S II, a funny flick. I didn’t watch it all.

Tomorrow night I will celebrate Pearls’ birthday (a former coworker from the old Pac Bell SDC department). It will be fun to see some of the old SDC coworkers for dinner at The Embarcadero.

I reviewed my 'bill paying'.  It was enlightening. It’s getting better though. Once I consolidate two more accounts I will feel so much better.

This weekend is the Golden Gate Bridge Celebration. I mentioned it to Carla.
Carla said, “Big deal…fireworks and that’s it.”
I laughed and asked, “So what are you going to do this weekend?”
“I’m going camping at Russian River.”
I thought it funny how she lives in San Francisco but she knocked that whole Golden Gate Celebration as a fireworks farce.

Dinner tomorrow tonight will be fun. I’m looking forward to it.

It’s really nice when people remember your birthday. I’m thinking of Jeff Sombat in Hawaii and Johnny in L.A. I was especially surprised to get a birthday card from that older, nice lady named Suzanne that I met in Hawaii. Of course, mom always remembers. I can always count on mom.

We make sense of one another with amazing agility, although we do occasionally have to work at it.
Once when I was in Fayetteville, Arkansas, I asked my host if there were any spas around. I knew of the famous HOT SPRINGS in the southern part of the state, and I thought visiting it might be a pleasant way to spend an afternoon.
“Spas?” he said in a think Arkansas accent. “You mean Russian agents?”
-Diane Ackerman
A NATURAL HISTORY OF THE SENSES

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I Had An Affair

Napoleon’s passion for luxury included his favorite cologne water.

After he washed, he liked to pour cologne over his neck, chest and shoulders.
-Diane Ackerman
A NATURAL HISTORY OF THE SENSES

Twenty-five years ago today:

May 20, 1987
Wednesday

Louise Long, the new black woman in my office is finally getting some productive work completed. I tease her about her ‘getting away with nothing’. It’s not really a tease though. She finds me fun to work with. She’s a church going woman and I do have fun with her. I like her a lot (especially the expressions on her face when I say things that surprise her).
Louise said, “You smell good.”
“Oh, it’s probably my new Lagerfeld cologne.”

I haven’t given mom a call from work this week. It’s just too darn busy.

Eileen left a message on my voice mail at work about how this coming Thursday is a ‘no go’ situation for meeting-up because something has come up that she has to do. Such is life with Eileen.

I got a parking ticket again! It’s another ten dollars. I guess that amount isn’t so bad. Some people pay that much to park for the day in The City.

I took a nap and went to the gym. Mark E. was there and we worked out together for a bit. Stewart Western came by, too. Stewart and I talked for a little while.

A gal that I met some years ago while bicycling in Alameda appeared at the gym and made some small talk with me. She’s cute but she never went out with me the first time. And so I decided to give up on the whole idea of her despite her smiles and sweet hello’s. I’ve chosen to disregard her flirtation routine. When I first met her I recalled that she told me she was part Portuguese. Her friend was overweight.
PHOTO: Scott Lauer, San Francisco on June 6, 1987

I met a new guy at the gym named Scott Lauer. He’s a cool, blond fellow who is stationed at the Alameda Naval Air Station on the big ship called the ENTERPRISE. He’s a big lug. I find him to be a nice chap though.  I think he said he is originally from the state of Ohio.
Scott said, “I thought I detected an accent from you…like from Australia or something.”
I laughed, thinking that was a joke. He was serious though. And so now he calls me “mate” (a term used in Australia for good friends).

I spoke to Mark E. about his directing classes at the A.C.T. (American Conservatory Theater) in San Francisco. Now I’m interesting in possibly taking an acting class there (for fun). I don’t see it as future growth in the entertainment industry but more for self-actualized needs for my inner psyche and social skills. I’ll wait and see.

I read an ad in the Alameda Times Star newspaper about chauffeurs wanted at PARK N’ FLY to take airline passengers to and from the Oakland Airport. I may look into it as a bit of part-time work…but then again, a lot of my free time would be lost (maybe not).

I called Jeff Sombat in Honolulu to thank him for the cute exercise teddy bear he sent to me by mail.

I also called Johnny in L.A. and we caught up on some things. He’s been recording a lot of music. He’s still very much into his music.
Johnny said, “My music teacher, Wendy, is sincerely sure that I will get a record deal with my songs.”
This sounds very promising. Good for him.

I enjoyed lunch with Freddie today. She blew me away with something she said in one sentence.
“You know, Michael, I had an affair with a white doctor who’s married in his van last week.”
“What?”
She laughed…but was very serious.  Wild (all I could think of was that sexy Dr. Kildare).
I thought, “Go Freddie!”
She’s too much.  It did sound exciting though.
Freddie continued with company talk: “Michael, I plan on quitting Yellow Pages. Carla is going to quit, too.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it,” I said.

“Tell me, what do you want out of life?”
-as heard while watching the 2011 film THE DEBT

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Go Confidently

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined.”
-Henry David Thoreau

Twenty-five years ago today:

May 19, 1987
Tuesday

I am getting a lot of work done at the office.

After work I telephoned Danny Garcia before I went for my bike ride.

I chose to remain home and enjoy myself. I watched a movie called CHILDREN OF THE CORN.

I decided to telephone Chris Cordellos, too.
“Hey Mike, do you want to go to a party in San Francisco this Saturday night.”
And so, we may go.

I officially cancelled out on Ron Bygum’s facial appointment. He’s that delinquent Yellow Page client that offered me a free facial. I also backed out of Steve Flander’s ‘bite out’ for tomorrow night. There’s just no need.

I did telephone Eileen Grabinsky once again. She’s famous for ‘no answer’.

Freddie Perriliat paid me the five-dollars I loaned her. Carla has not. It just means it’s the last time she sees green out of me!

To be a winner, you don’t have to win every game.
-Michael J Armijo
PHILOSOPHICAL STATEMENTS

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Improving With Age

“Find something to believe in.”
-as heard while watching the 2008 film “GOOD”

Twenty-five years ago today:

May 18, 1987
Monday

My Hawaiian pals, Jeff and Carla, called me in the early hours of 6AM. They were ‘buzzing’ from the booze.
Carla announced, “We have four bottles of KORBEL Champagne left and we plan on saving two for when you arrive!”
“Hmm…we’ll see if they can last for that long,” I said, laughing.

I dreaded the idea of going to work today because of all the work I had at my desk. Oh well, Freddie is returning. That will help.

I cancelled out on both Ron Bygum’s facial for this Wednesday AND Steve Flander for dinner and a drink with a phony excuse.
I explained, “I can’t make it because I have to babysit my niece, Ashley.”
I knew both events would cost me some money, so I figured I’d pass on both of them. I don’t need to spend money for a facial or for cocktails and a dinner. I definitely don’t need it.

Bad ass Nikki Bovee came into the office with a look of wonder and bewilderment about the one hundred and three pending delinquent San Francisco Accounts. There are only about forty-three that are my responsibility. The rest belong to Lily. I reduced my batch to thirty by the end of the day. It irks me a bit because I am doing the job so very well while others tend to move so slowly. The time in my current office is passing quickly though. I had best be in Yellow Page Sales soon! I figure I have only a month or so to bear with all of these delinquent accounts.

I ate lunch in the cafeteria with Freddie. I loaned her five dollars. I had loaned another five dollars to Carla during my first break. I’d better see my ten dollars returned tomorrow…or else!

I did it again. I took a nap after work. My mind was mentally exhausted from work.

Eileen called. She was my wake up call. We talked a bit.
“I’m going to Lake Berryessa this weekend with Katrina.”
I replied nonchalantly in my own condescending way, “Well, I’m sure you’ll both have a BLAST.”
I realized that I haven’t even spilled the beans about my forthcoming trip to Hawaii on the 4th of July. So there!
I said, “Well, I guess I won’t be seeing you for a long time.”
Eileen asked sweetly, “Why don’t you come over here to visit this Thursday night?”
“Well, maybe I can work that out,” I replied.
I really don’t see why she can’t come to see me for a change!

After my nap and the Eileen phone call I hit the gym. Dave Trapp was there.
Dave said, “You know, Mike…there’s this new health line product that I may be selling.”
“It’s not some sort of steroids trip, is it?”
“Oh no, it’s one hundred percent natural and it’s an alternative to steroids.”
“Well, I might be interested.”

I mentioned my accomplishment with the Bay to Breakers run to Dave, Kathy and Mark Gebhardt.
I said to Mark, “My calves are still sore but it’s a good pain.”
The 'new' Mark just laughed.

I realized that I wouldn’t be as sore if I hadn’t gone for that jog in Alameda the Saturday before the run. I still feel good that I finished the seven and one-half miles (12K) in one hour and fifteen seconds. Last year it took me one hour and twenty minutes. I am improving with age.

Speaking of age, Mark Gebhardt is twenty-seven years old. He was born in 1960 and he graduated from San Leandro High in 1978. We talked about meeting up for lunch since we both happen to work in San Francisco. He gave me his card. He seems like a cool guy.

While in the locker room at the gym I saw a fat, bald fellow. Someone called him ‘Dennis’. I realized he was Dennis Darby. He’s a guy that went to my high-school and graduated with me. I couldn’t believe that he’d lost his hair! I feel great for twenty-seven (going on twenty-eight) when some guys my age look like they’re in their early forties already. Gee whiz!

“LIFE never forgives weakness.”
-as heard while watching the 2004 film DOWNFALL

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The Surprise Accompaniment

“Someday…someone has to say ENOUGH!”

-Perseus,
The legendary founder of Mycenae and of the Perseid dynasty of Danaans who was the first of the heroes of Greek mythology whose exploits in defeating various archaic monsters provided the founding myths of the Twelve Olympians. Perseus was the Greek hero who killed the Gorgon Medusa, and claimed Andromeda, having rescued her from a sea monster sent by Poseidon in retribution for Queen Cassiopeia, declaring herself more beautiful than the Nereid’s.

Twenty-five years ago today:

May 17, 1987
Sunday

I actually made it through the entire BAY TO BREAKERS race in San Francisco!

Mark came by to pick me up. He brought “Ivy” along with him.  I tried not to ‘let on’ my disappointment.  He’s always pulling the surprise accompaniment on these things that were planned between the two of us.  Why does he do this without informing me?  Oh well, I was cordial.  The race started precisely at 8AM.  I was home in Alameda by 11AM; whereby, I still had plenty of Sunday left over.

I went to mom and dad’s house after Mark and Ivy dropped me off at home. Mom and I went to Park Street to look at a JAGUAR that was for sale on a Used Car lot for only $8,995. I was tempted but I just don’t have the money. I only have the credit and there’s no sense in spending money that I don’t really have.

Mom and I continued our Sunday excursion to San Francisco. We planned on going to FURNISHINGS 2000 but the place wasn’t where it was supposed to be (?). We ate lunch at NEW JOE’s and walked around. It was fun to just window shop until we pooped out.

We returned to Alameda and I needed a nap. I woke up to Dad’s phone call at around 6PM.
“Hey Mike on the news now they’re showing the BAY TO BREAKERS Highlights.”
“Oh cool…I’ll turn it on. Maybe I’ll see myself on TV!”
I wasn’t visible on TV. I know I was somewhere in the crowd.

I lounged around at home until I decided to go over to mom and dad’s to watch a bit of FALCON AND THE SNOWMAN, a pretty decent movie.

After the film I went home and went to bed when I remembered something. It was Jeff Sombat’s Birthday. It just flashed in my memory, so I quickly called his apartment in Honolulu.
“Happy Birthday Jeff!”
He was happy to hear from me. Luckily for the time difference I wasn’t the last to wish him well.
Jeff exclaimed, “You know, I was just getting ready for a Birthday party here.”
“Why wasn’t I invited?”
He laughed.
We laughed.
Good night.   I just hope I’m not leading him on. It’s easy to flirt with a voice.


“In its own special way, last is the same as first.”
-John Katzenbach
THE ANALYST

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His Own Decisions

Questions are only useful when the answers will lead somewhere.

-Olen Steinhauer
THE NEAREST EXIT, a novel

Twenty-five years ago today:

May 16, 1987
Saturday

Suzy Miller came over to the townhouse at around 10AM.

Suzy and I left together for Park Street to eat at OLE’S WAFFLE SHOP. We both love the waffle and can never decide whether to order it or the ham and cheese omelet. After having breakfast we thought we’d be spontaneous and adventurous and drive up to Sacramento to see Suzy’s brother, Mike. Suzy was willing to drive.

PHOTO:  Me and Suzy, 1977 School Days

Suzy wrote in my HOUSE BOOK:

May 16, 1987
Dear Mike,
Well here I am again, a month before our high-school reunion. We went to OLE’S and bought our LOTTO Tickets…12 Million dollars at stake. I hope one of us wins. Well, see you around.
Take Care.
Love, Suzy

I also thought the drive to Sacramento would be a perfect opportunity to drop by Judy Geniella’s house to get my white jeans. Time passed so quickly and I wasn’t in my car, so I never did stop by to get my jeans.

Mrs. Miller was going to accompany us. It took forever because Mrs. Miller took so long to get ready. We stopped at SAFEWAY and also at TOYS R US in Richmond, CA.

We didn’t arrive in Sacramento until 5:30PM. Mike is living with a twenty-one year old semi-attractive lady who ‘was’ Greg Manachevitz’ sister-in-law. Why he’s living with her and her child is beyond me. Such is life. He’ll need to make his own decisions.

We ended up eating dinner at 10PM and didn’t leave Sacramento until 11:45PM or so. I was home in Alameda by 2AM! Yawn.

I thought of the final scene of PAPILLON, based on the novel by Henri Charriere and starring Steve McQueen. I felt like PAPILLON, who escapes French Guiana on the tide, floating away on a sack of coconuts. It was an absurd thought, but at certain moments there’s nothing else to do but humor your own delirium as something you don’t choose but simply endure.
-Roberto Saviano
GOMMORRAH

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