Upside Down

Quiet and willing to do whatever anyone else wanted, she was often favorably compared to a shadow.

-David Sedaris
ME TALK PRETTY ONE DAY

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 30, 1987
Tuesday

Carla returned to work after two weeks of suspension.

I had the greatest lunch with Julie Roth. It was wild to realize that I’ve known her since sixth grade. We had a good time. We may meet up after work one night when I return from my trip to Hawaii. She looked good.

Mom, Ashley and I went to NATIONS Burgers after work.

I swung Ashley upside down later in the evening. She was having fun until I accidentally stepped on her hair. Oops. Ouch. We still had a good time. We watched the Daytime EMMY Awards.

I telephoned Rachelle. She hung up on me. Then she called me back.
I had been talking up a storm and she said, “OH! I thought you were Joe Smith.”
How upsetting. Who in the heck is Joe Smith?
“I’m sorry,” Rachelle continued, “Could you call me tomorrow…because you did call rather late again.”
I thought, “Give me a break. Grow up!”

A part of him wondered if he’d made a mistake sidestepping a night of mindless sex, if only because it carried no investment.
-Olen Steinhauer
THE NEAREST EXIT

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One In Every Port

“I used to think that you were me and I was worried at what I had done to you. But now I know that you are not me. What is in my head is not in yours. You are somebody else, somebody I don’t know, and I worry for you because you are launched on a journey I know nothing of.”

-V. S. Naipaul
HALF A LIFE

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 29, 1987
Monday

Marta drove me to the bus terminal after work. She works in the CSO (Customer Service Office) at Pac Bell Directory. She’s pretty nice.

Johnny met me at my bus stop.

Stacey, my roommate, was home. She ran into Johnny this morning.

Johnny and I ate dinner at the SIZZLER.
He made a nonchalant rude comment: “It seems like you strive to have one in every port.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
“Well, there’s Greg Johnsson writing you from Chicago; Jim in L.A., Mike Thoennes and all.”

It was as if he’d rummaged through some old letters of mine while I was at work (or maybe a diary entry or two). Could it be? It was kind of upsetting. He knew I was disturbed by it. Needless to say, Johnny left rather abruptly. It was just as well. It was a relief actually.

I went to my mom’s house.

I went to the gym.

I returned home and called Rachelle Davies. It was kind of late.
She asked, “Could you call me tomorrow?”

But there’s a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother’s story, because hers is where yours begins.
-Mitch Albom
FOR ONE MORE DAY

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Hamburgers and Witches

"I see men running around trying to put their dicks into everything, trying to make something happen... but it's WOMEN who are the source... the only power. Nature, birth, rebirth. Cliche? Cliche... sure... but true."
-Daryl Van Horne

-as heard in the 1987 film
THE WITCHES OF EASTWICK



Twenty-five years ago today:

June 28, 1987
Sunday

After the long “uh and huh-huh” lecture I gave Johnny this morning, we went to Sausalito to that HAMBURGERS joint.

I took a much needed nap at home after the outing.  I needed my space.

We also saw THE WITCHES OF EASTWICK movie at THE GRAND LAKE THEATER.

That sums up our weekend.  I had to be at work in the morning but Johnny was going to hang-out.

"I think... no, I am positive... that you are the most unattractive man I have ever met in my entire life. You know, in the short time we've been together, you have demonstrated EVERY loathsome characteristic of the male personality and even discovered a few new ones. You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, you're morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, and stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor and you smell. You're not even interesting enough to make me sick."
-Alexandra Medford
-as heard in the 1987 film THE WITCHES OF EASTWICK

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A Daydream

"Oh, ‘DAYDREAM BELIEVER’. It’s a great song. I don’t care what anyone says.

It’s O.K. to like ‘DAYDREAM BELIEVER’. There’s nothing wrong with a guilty pleasure from time to time"
-JOHNNY DEPP
Vanity Fair Jan 2011 INTERVIEW

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 27, 1987
Saturday

I felt like I was in a daydream. The bird sounds, the chirps, etc. were really something to hear from the tent on this morning in the woods. I could suddenly hear the faint sounds of people. Children began running and one gal was crying for her mama. It reminded me of my niece, Ashley. I dreamt a raccoon came near our tent and took a shit near my face because there was a fictitious hole in the tent (in my dream).

I’m hungry for a good breakfast. We shall see. One feels even more hungry when one wakes up outside.

In the middle of the night I thought I heard footsteps and eerie sounds. It could have been people but it could have also been a wild animal standing right next to the text. Worst of all, the sound of a man snoring so loud was heard from another tent.

Johnny and I decided against BIG SURE since it was about three or four hours away. We made bacon and eggs. It smelled so good outside. We hiked a trail or two. We took pictures via the beautiful trees. We took a train near Mt. Herman. There were some strange folks on that train.

We dropped in to the town of Los Gatos at ate dinner at THE GOOD EARTH. Memories of my time there in 1982 with George Jones flashed in my mind. Johnny seemed rather quiet most of the time. I imagine he was collecting his thoughts.  I can only guess.  I'm sure he was hoping for MORE over this weekend.

I had Johnny sign my House Book once we returned to Alameda. The images he chose to paste on his pages were interesting. It said something about him.

I telephoned Lottie. I was thinking of her at the moment.

Johnny tee’d me off when he said, “The irony of that fact that Dick was the last to sleep over.”
He was referring to his roommate.
I also got Johnny on the defensive when I said, “You say the phrase ‘uh huh huh’ too much. Can’t you think of something else in place of those words?”

I met a man once who did a lot of mountain climbing. I asked him which was harder, ascending or descending. He said without a doubt descending because ascending one is so focused on reaching the top, you avoided mistakes.
-Mitch Albom
FOR ONE MORE DAY

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Roasted Marshmallows

THE NEW YORK TIMES—“If you read this newspaper every day for a year, you’ll have the vocabulary of a Ph.D. and you will know more than any college graduate. I guarantee you.”

-Abraham Verghese
CUTTING FOR STONE

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 26, 1987
Friday

Eileen met me for lunch in The City. I work a suit to accent my professional flare. She was in an addidas tank-top and shorts. We really matched together so nicely. Outrageous! We ate at a place called LITTLE JOE’s. She liked the outfit I got for her at Foxmoor. I treated her to lunch (what a rip).

After work I got home and showered. The Alameda Times Star boys came by to rip me off. I subscribed. It’s probably not as good as The New York Times.

Johnny arrived and we gathered our things and headed for K-Mart in San Leandro. I realized I’d only been to this K-Mart only once before. Johnny stopped at his VERSA-Teller machine and then we took off for Big Basin.

We drove through Big Basin, Saratoga via Highway 880, the Dumbarton Bridge, Highway 101, Highway 85, Highway 9 and Highway 236. Of course we took a few wrong turns here and there. The roads were so winding and curved.

We set up a tent. Actually, Johnny did most of the work. I handed him the pegs. I had never set up a tent before. We roasted marshmallows (my favorite part). We ate cheese and crackers. Then we hit-the-hay for the sleep we needed. The surface of the ground was so hard. I tossed and turned. I don’t think I like camping.

"I was always fascinated by people who are considered completely normal, because I find them the weirdest of all."
JOHNNY DEPP,
Vanity Fair Jan 2011 INTERVIEW

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My Very Best-Friend

“Not only our actions but also our omissions become our destiny.”

-Heinrich Zimmer, THE KING AND THE CORPSE

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 25, 1987
Thursday

I didn’t forfeit the gym tonight. I went. I had to go.

I am finding it difficult to space the time to write in my journal now that I take the express bus to The City. I may switch to a weekly entry versus a daily one.

It was funny today. After work mom and I were going ‘gut-buster’ exercises together. She kept moving her body backwards and we laughed and laughed. That was so much fun.

My gym workout was fair.

Jeff called me from Hawaii. I wasn’t home when he called but he left a nice message on my answering recorder.

I gave Eileen a call. We confirmed our lunch date for tomorrow.

Mom and I went to Walgreen’s and decided to give PATUSCO’s another chance. It was a mistake, of course. The service was still very bad. They didn’t even wait on us for the longest time. So we left once again. I had to go back into the restaurant because I had left the car keys on the table. Oops. Mom and I had a good time though. We ended up going to SIZZLER again. That was fun. Mom is probably my very best-friend I’ve ever had in the whole world.

Every child should have a mother of such even temperament, her rare displeasure evidenced so gently that the effect was lasting. Thomas lived to please his mother and he was earnest in his pleasing. It was as if they both knew, thought they could not have known, that life was short, the moment fleeting.
-Abraham Verghese
CUTTING FOR STONE

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It's All New To Me

“Another day in paradise” was his inevitable pronouncement when he settled his head on his pillow. Now I understood what that meant: the uneventful day was a precious gift.

-Abraham Verghese
CUTTING FOR STONE

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 24, 1987
Wednesday

Stephanie broke our lunch date for today. C’est la vie.

Julie Roth called me and postponed our lunch date. We will now meet next Tuesday. It’s just as well.

I felt fat today. I’ve been feeling that way for some reason. I am right to feel this way. I need to get more fit. I did go bicycling after work. I felt fat while I was pedaling to ‘Free Nelson Mandela’. I love that song.

Ma and I went to PATUSCO’s but they took forever to wait on us. We decided to leave and just ate at SIZZLER; whereby, Thelma, a fat, black waitress serviced us and she was just as bad.

I had told Mike Miller I’d give him a phone call about coming over to my place. However, it was getting rather late, so I didn’t. Oh well, I’ll make up for it. I know he needs to talk things out over his recent break-up.

Chris Cordellos called me.
“I’m going camping this weekend!”
“How fun,” Chris exclaimed.
“Yeah, I even bought marshmallows and some needed camping gear at Walgreen’s. It’s all new to me...this camping scene.”

I went to bed alone, went to bed with my thoughts—I felt older than my x years.
LIFE is full of signs. The trick is to know how to read them. Heuristics, a method for solving a problem for which no formula exists.
I’d developed my own heuristics, my mix of reason, intuition, facial appearance, and scent. These were things not in any book.
For a man who prided himself on “the three Ls: LOVING, LEARNING, and LEGACY,” he’d excelled in all three.
-Abraham Verghese
CUTTING FOR STONE

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His So-Called Relationship

When you are happy you stay home.

But when you are miserable you travel a lot, stirring up clouds of dust.

Ego scenes hiding us from the fact of what we are: money, power, glory, fame, big house, big car, 100,000 acres, 4000 cows, 86 horses, purebred dogs, jewels, clothes, titles, big deals at your job, pedigreed friends, high-society, names in papers, eating too much, drinking too much.
-Michael J Armijo
PHILOSOPHICAL STATEMENTS



Twenty-five years ago today:

June 23, 1987
Tuesday

I forfeited the gym visit tonight. I spent the evening with ma and pa. I had dinner with them and then simply went home to shower and get ready for bed.   It was a delight to be at home.

Mike Miller is back in town. He’s all depressed and disgruntled from the collapse of his so-called relationship with that gal.
“I was in love with her,” Mike said.
If you ask me, he’s much better off without her.

Johnny called again. We are going to Big Basin on Friday night. We’ll also go to Big Sur on Saturday night. I never go camping, so it should be fun.

Make something beautiful of your life.
-Abraham Verghese
CUTTING FOR STONE

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A Movie Star

Nothing is essentially wrong.

Never do anything you don’t have to do.
What you do with your mind is 4/7 of the story.
What you do with your body is 1/7 of the story.
What you do with your life (spirit) is 2/7 of the story.
Taking control of your inner life can cause little grief outside of you.
-Michael J Armijo
PHILOSOPHICAL STATEMENTS

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 22, 1987
Monday

It was too hectic and much too busy at work today. There is so much to do!

I had lunch at CARL’S JR. with Freddie. Yuck! I hate fast-food joints!

Bob Russo of Ron Bygum’s Fabulous Faces and One Step Beyond called me. There’s a lot happening with his Yellow Pages Accounts. I’m trying to help with his delinquency. Bob calls and requests for me when he needs information.
Bob said, “You know, I’ll give you a free facial anytime.”
I thought, “I’ll have to make an appointment.”
He wanted to know what type of ad his competitor was placing. I wasn’t at liberty to give him any information. I might have given him a hint or two though. I feel ruthless.

I wore Jeff’s black suede and leather jacket to work today. It got some good head turns. People noticed. It’s a bad ass jacket.

I ate ‘din-din’ with ma and pa.
Mom said, “You look like a movie star in that jacket and shades.”
I laughed, “I guess the sunglasses do help.”

I went to the gym after dinner and bumped into Mark Gebhart. I also saw Jeanette Melcher.
Jeanette gave her usual flirtatious line: “Hello.”

I put gas in my car and bought some Diet-7UP. I drank a bit of it at ma and pa’s as I bought them some Dr. Pepper. I ate half a cantaloupe while there, too. I’m so hungry after the gym workouts.

I left and called Bob Russo of Fabulous Faces. That’s when I gave him a bit more insight about the Yellow Page Advertising scoop.

Johnny called me from L.A. We talked about camping out.
Johnny said, “Big Basin is booked.”
We talked about movies and Johnny said, “Maybe we can see NUNSENSE on Monday night.”
I agreed, “That sounds good!”

To transform our situation is also to transform our minds. To transform our minds is also to transform our situation, because the situation is mind, and mind is situation.
-THICH NHAT HANH
BEING PEACE

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Suede and Leather

We are afraid of relationships.

Because of our fear of self-knowledge, we don’t want to face what we are.
We don’t want to find what’s deep within ourselves.
We don’t want to see our imperfections.
A relationship is threatening enough.
-Michael J Armijo
PHILOSOPHICAL STATEMENTS

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 21, 1987
Sunday

I went for a wonderful Sunday morning jog. Afterward I drove over to ma and pa’s for breakfast.
“Happy Father’s Day Breakfast, Dad!”

I drove over to SFO (San Francisco Airport) to meet up with Jeff Sombat. He’s unbelievable. He bought me a t-shirt and loaned me his suede and leather jacket for two weeks. We each enjoyed a bottle of Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers during his hour layover. Then he took off on another jet bound for Hawaii.
PHOTO:  Jeff Sombat, 4th of July 1987, Hawaii

After the brief visit with Jeff I drove out to Contra Costa County to the Concord Sun Valley mall where Chris Cordellos was working. He cut my hair.

I bought a tie, a pair of socks and a black star sapphire ring at MACY’s. The ring was regularly $350 but I got it for only $279.

I liked my hair cut. I was Chris’ last appointment for the day, so we went to EL TORITO Grill to eat. Ugh! It was a tad filling.

I washed a load of clothes when I returned home to Alameda. Yes, domestic chores are a ‘must do’.

Ma and pa didn’t return home until 9:10PM. By then I was in bed. I missed out on the strawberry pie that Tony and Helen brought for dad on Father’s Day.

The major key to your better future is YOU.
-Michael J Armijo
PHILOSOPHICAL STATEMENTS

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It's No Big Deal

"Nobody knows much about women, not even Freud, not even women themselves. But it's like electricity: you don't have to know how it works to get a shock on the fingers."
- Carlos Ruiz Zafon
The Shadow of the Wind

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 20, 1987
Saturday

I went ahead and did my Saturday morning jog.

I telephoned Sue Miller after the run. We met at OLE’s WAFFLE SHOP on Park Street. We bought our usual LOTTO tickets but didn’t become millionaires today. Oh, it’s all for the fun of it really.

I took Ashley to Kennedy Park in Hayward, CA. I took a really cute picture of her.

I bought Eileen an outfit at Foxmoor. It just looked like something she’d wear.

Bonni, Chris and Eileen called me while I was in Hayward with Ashley. Bonni wasn’t at her dad’s house when I called her back.
I spoke to Chris briefly.
Chris said, “I’m stuck in Modesto. That’s why I didn’t come over last Thursday.”
“Oh, it’s no big deal,” I replied, thinking how nice of him to explain two days later.
He asked, “Can you come over to Concord on Sunday for a haircut?”
“I’ll see…maybe.”

I spent the evening with my parents.

It turns out that Eileen went out with Eva and her ‘gal’ friends. They were probably drinking unlimited wine coolers.

Water is “to live”; Wine is used to drown sorrows; Tea is drunk to avoid sleepiness.
-Laura C Martin
TEA: The Drink That Changed The World

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A 'No Go'

If there was a surprise in all this, it was only that he didn’t give a damn anymore.
Olen Steinhauer,
THE NEAREST EXIT

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 19, 1987
Friday

There was practically no sign of Stacey all week. She rarely sleeps here. It’s fine with me. I just want the rent check.

This was a ‘no go’ day for the gym.

Mom had the night off, so I went over to keep her company. I had dinner and simply hung out over there.

I was home by 10:30PM and simply went to bed. It was a quick and relaxing Friday. Yawn.

If looking at someone with desire was as bad as satisfying the desire, if having an active fantasy was as bad as the act you were fantasizing…then why not the satisfaction and the act itself? As the days went on, I discovered that I couldn’t stop thinking sinful thoughts. In which case I also wanted the sin itself.
-Bernhard Schlink
THE READER

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A 'No Show'

Wasn’t that the definition of home?  NOT where you are from, but where you are wanted?
-Abraham Verghese
CUTTING FOR STONE

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 18, 1987
Thursday

I caught the express bus to The City easily today.

I telephoned high-school classmate, Julie Roth. She works at a Travel Agency.
“How about lunch,” I asked
Julie said, “I have Sundays and Mondays off.”
“Would you like to have lunch with me next Thursday?”
“Okay, you know…I was thinking about you. I just got my pictures back from the reunion and I wasn’t sure if you gave me your business card or not.”
“I didn’t…but I’m calling now.”
I laughed. She didn’t. We’re set for a lunch in The City next week though.

I walked over to see my ex-boss, Stephanie. We’re going to do lunch next Wednesday.

Freddie and I ate at PIZZA BOAT today.

When I arrived home to Alameda I peeked in and saw that Stacey was sleeping in her bed. The phone rang. It was Stacey’s mother, so I woke her up.

I telephoned my mom today.

“You know…I’m off tomorrow and for the next two weeks.”

“That’s great! You deserve the time off!”

Stacey left to have dinner at her mom’s house.

The doorbell rang at about 7PM. I thought it was Chris Cordellos but he pulled a ‘no show’. It was Tom, the bearded boyfriend.
“Oh, Stacey is at her mom’s house.”

A little later, Stacey came home with her mom, a close family friend, her step dad and brothers. They all attempted to carry a couch upstairs into the spare bedroom. They had to use a saw to chop the sofa to get it through the door. How ridiculous! These are the trials, tribulations and stresses of having a roommate. I left for SAFEWAY because I couldn’t watch the nightmare of it all. I wanted it to be over by the time I returned home.

When I did return home it seemed mellower. It was nice to be home. I made a salad and a lean cuisine dinner. I sort of watched ROCKY III (or was it IV or V?). I got into watching the 20/20 Newsmagazine show. They were interviewing Donna Rice about the Gary Hart (Presidential Candidate) controversy. I love 20/20. It’s a good show.

One gains the most if one can sufficiently heighten the yield of pleasure from the sources of psychical and intellectual work.
-Sigmund Freud
Civilization and its Discontents

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It's Beyond Me

With the intoxication of youth in him, as the poet wisely noted, a man will see Helen of Troy in every woman.
Thomas Mann
-Fallen, 1894

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 17, 1987
Wednesday

The card I sent to Paloma returned back to me a ‘second time’. How aggravating! This time I failed to denote the country: FRANCE. Sheesh!

My Security Pacific MasterCard account is now closed and paid in full. Hurrah!

Freddie and I ordered Chinese Food and decided to remain in the building. We did take a pit stop over to the Pharmacy though. Freddie had to pick up some medication.

Work is always so busy.

Johnny and I are going camping next weekend. How fun! Then, the weekend after that I’ll be on my way to Hawaii.

Mom starts her vacation on Friday.

I made it to the gym tonight and burned two-hundred and forty-six calories on the LIFE Rower machine. It’s good, considering I ate a REESES Peanut Butter Cup and KIT KAT today (two-hundred and fifty calories for each bar). I worked off only one of them.

I missed my express bus to The City this morning. I had to drive in which wasn’t so bad.

Oh yes, while at the gym I met a fellow named Ken who worked-in with me on one of the machines. Mark Geberhardt also showed up and we worked out together on a couple of the machines as well.

I showered at home and decided to give Eileen a call. She wasn’t home. Why did I even choose to call her? It’s beyond me.

I telephoned Rachelle Davies and we made plans to go out this coming Tuesday evening.
Rachelle said, “I’m going to Orange County this weekend.”
“Why there?” I asked.
“Oh, my cousin is getting married.”

Stacey didn’t spend the night. It’s like I have a paid roommate who never stays here. Nice.

Yesterday, I received a phone call from Chris.
“I can come over this Thursday.”
That’s tomorrow! Maybe he’ll cut my hair. I could use a trim.

“Believe it. We’re all wandering in the dark.”
-Olen Steinhauer
THE NEAREST EXIT

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A Good Influence

He raised himself from the bed, grabbed his martini, and lifted it. “To knowing what to do, and when.”
-Olen Steinhauer
THE NEXT EXIT

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 16, 1987
Tuesday

I rode my bike after my work day and happened to see a high-school classmate named John Zahn. I waved to him and he waved back.
During our recent high-school reunion the other night he had said to me, “I always see you riding your bike and you never wave back.”
I explained, “Oh…I’m ‘into’ my music on my headphones when I ride and I probably don’t see you.”
It’s funny because I was thinking about him saying those words and I happened to see him today. I’m glad I waved.

I had lunch with Mark Gebhardt (from my gym) at THE HAVEN in San Francisco today. I had a good talk with him. He made me reevaluate my career plans for the future.
“Is there anything else you’d like to do?” Mark asked.
“Well, I do have an inspiration to be in the Entertainment Industry in some way or another. I don’t mean in front of the camera but while in college I wrote a few programming story ideas for television.”
“You should look into that.”
“Yeah, maybe…it’s funny; I remember writing a story about a sort of a soap-opera for night time television. My Marketing professor was so impressed by it that she suggested I send it to ABC-TV. And you won’t believe what happened.”
“What?”
“Well, I sent it back in early 1980 and ‘sure enough’ all of these shows began to appear on prime-time TV a year later like FALCOLN CREST and DYNASTY. I almost feel like whoever received my pitch package…stole my idea.”
Mark encouraged me: “You never know. You should pursue the writing.”
“Yeah…maybe; I’ve always wondered why I never got a reply with my programming idea and stories. It’s all very suspicious.”

“Sounds like it.”

I went ahead with my visit to Eileen. She showed me a glass statuette that her Italian beau gave here.
She screamed excitedly, “And Dave gave me new speakers for my car!”
I thought, “Give me a break.”
She drove me around in her Volkswagen and we stopped for ice-cream at Double Rainbow. We had intentions of going to see the movie BEVERLY HILLS COP II. Instead, we ended up looking at the view of the San Francisco Airport. I pulled my pants down to show her the bruise I got from bumping into a machine at the gym the other night. She got a kick out of my quick ‘pull down of the pants action’ by laughing aloud. I think I wanted her to be surprised. As time passed Eileen realized that her car wouldn’t start. She had ‘juiced it out’ by playing the radio and showing off her new speakers. I ended up pushing her car a good length (luckily it was only a VW bug). It took some jumping cables and a couple of Good Samaritan “dudes” to get the car started again. I wasn’t back in Alameda until about 12:15AM.

Stacey didn’t sleep over.
She had confessed with me, “My meetings that I’m having are ‘sort of’ rehab meetings because I was really into cocaine.”
I imagine she slept with that bearded guy, Tom, again. She certainly won’t be influenced by ‘coke’ around me. I’m not into that sort of stuff. I hope this Tom character is a good influence.

“We are the result of our histories…not the result of our present.”
-Olen Steinhauer
THE NEXT EXIT

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Home-Cooked Goodies

“You can make more friends in a month by being interested in them than in ten years of trying to get them interested in you.”
-Charles L Allen
ROADS TO RADIANT LIVING

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 15, 1987
Monday

Stacey moved in.

I came home from work via the express bus. I walked in and noticed that Stacey had only painted one wall in her bedroom. She left in the middle of her move-in to go out with Tom. Tom is her bearded thirty-five year old beau. She didn’t even spend the night. I can only assume she slept with Tom. Such is life (OH well).

I went to the gym and saw Scott. He was wearing my gray gym shorts! Is that a sign?
“Could you give me your address?” Scott asked.
I gave it to him, wondering why he asked for it.
“I’m off to OHIO and I want to send you some home-cooked goodies.”
“Oh…that’ll be great.”
We’ll see if he keeps his word. He’s a nice fellow. He just might…

I called Jeff and announced my news: “You know…I will have a rent-a-car for my entire stay while in Hawaii.”

Carla was suspended from work for two weeks! The reason was bad attendance. She’s too much.

I’m still thinking about the fun at my class reunion the other night. It was really great. I tried calling Julie Roth on Monday but she had the day off. We both work in The City, so I’m hoping to arrange a lunch date.
PHOTO: June 13, 1987, Sue Miller

I called Sue Miller.
Sue said, “I found out who that jerk was at the reunion.”
I asked “Which one?”
“The Harley Davidson motorcycle one.”
“Oh yeah…who was he? He looked scary!”
“His name is Bruce Pardee.”
“Oh wow…I remember him from sixth grade…that was him! Listen, do you want to go to breakfast at OLE’s on Saturday morning?”
“Okay.”

Take the risk of saying, ‘I LIKE ME’.
Everything a person has can be shared.
Everything a person has is unique and special.
There’s no limit to ‘human potential’.
-Michael J Armijo
PHILOSOPHICAL STATEMENTS

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Mexicali Rose Anniversary Margarita's

“Do not abandon yourself to a sort of melancholy gloom that can harm you and retard the development of your faculties and prolong the weakness of your temperament. You happiness, your existence is all that makes mine precious.”
—in a letter Philippe wrote to his son Francois Clicquot

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 14, 1987
Sunday

I burned off my alcohol from last night with a morning run to the end of Shoreline Avenue.

I enjoyed breakfast with ma and pa. Sherri, Ashley, mom and I went to see a few of the new model homes on Bay Farm Island. It was depressing when I analyzed the price offerings.

I slept at mom’s house for a restful Sunday afternoon nap. When I woke up I saw that my brother, Tony, and his wife, Helen, were there. I gave Tony an update on the happenings at the Alameda High Reunion from last night.

I came home and was surprised by a phone call on my answering machine recorder from Rachelle Davies!

Then Johnny called. It seems we’re going camping in two weekends.

Stacey came over with her mom, step-sister and aunt (?) and some other woman. I detected that she’ll be a fine roommate. I certainly hope so.

I took a drive over to Berkeley. It was a beautiful day and I discovered the estuary and rowing teams practicing. There was a guy there named Charles who was really good. I returned home and continued with domestic chores like washing clothes. It’s always a drag.

Oh yes…I took ma and pa out to the MEXICALI ROSE for their 30th Anniversary (which is officially June 15, 1957). It was my treat. The three of us shared two pitchers of Margarita’s. We had so much fun, laughing and eating. I love them.


"Presents are made for the pleasure of who gives them, not for the merits of who receives them."
-Carlos Ruiz Zafon

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Ten Year Reunion

The friendships of those we serve are the foundation of our progress.
-Michael J Armijo
PHILOSOPHICAL STATEMENTS

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 13, 1987
Saturday

I hit mom and dad’s house for a great breakfast.

I went to my cousin Lori’s Wedding Reception with mom, Ashley and Sherri. I thought I took some great snapshots.

After the wedding reception festivities I took off for my ALAMEDA High School Ten Year Reunion which was conveniently held on Bay Farm Island. I had a blast. The key stars in terms of my “swooping” and most interested-in were:  Julie Roth, Cyndy Whitmore, Debbie Nelson (though she’s married and going through a divorce and has two kids).

I had a terrific time. I drank a little too much though. My pictures show some of the series of events on reunion night. Kathy Purvis took the photo I shot of her. That was annoying. Vicki Wiltens took her photo too. I didn’t like that. Oh well…

When we open ourselves
You yourself to me and
I myself to you,
When we submerge
You into me and I into you
When we vanish
Into me you and into you I
Then
Am I me
And you are You.
-Joseph von Eichendorff
MEMORIES OF A GOOD-FOR-NOTHING

At a certain point the memory of her stopped accompanying me wherever I went. She stayed behind, the way a city stays behind as a train pulls out of the station. It’s there, somewhere behind you and you could go back and make sure of it. But why should you?
-Bernhard Schlink
THE READER

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La Bomba

‘When a man is a mystery to himself you can hardly call him mysterious.”
- Abraham Verghese
CUTTING FOR STONE

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 12, 1987
Friday

Carla wasn’t at work again. Why? I’ll never know. She’s so irresponsible and I even ‘told her so’ yesterday. She was supposed to have lunch with me. She cancels out on me at the last minute and I don’t like it.
“Michael, I have to meet with my attorney about that police harassment problem I had a couple of months ago.”
Like I said, she’s irresponsible and unreliable.

I went up and had pizza at my old SDC office. They invited me. Dale Orlando was there on a visit as well. It was almost like ‘old home’ week.
Cedric said, “I’m focusing on an Account Executive position now.”
I didn’t say it aloud but thought, “Give me a break.”

I took off on my bike once I arrived home. A bit later I was upstairs and naked when I heard the front door open. It was Stacey with her mom! Yikes! I quickly put on some pants and a shirt just as they came upstairs. I greeted them and shook hands politely with Stacey’s mom.
“It’s nice to meet you,” I said courteously.
Stacey said, “I’ll probably be moving most of my junk in this coming Sunday.”
“Great, I’m looking forward to your company.”

I called Suzy Miller.
I asked, “Are you going to our TEN-Year high-school reunion?”
“Yes, I guess I’m going.”
“Great!”
“Aren’t you nervous?”
“Not really, why don’t we go together?”
“Okay.”“Come to my house at seven-thirty and we’ll leave from here.”
“All right…I’ll be there.”

They’ve been playing LA BOMBA by Richie Valens on the radio a lot lately. I just LOVE IT! It reminds me of three specific things that I LOVE:
1. That scene in the Nicolas Cage/Matthew Modine movie BIRDY.
2. Paloma
3. Just plain dancing or bicycling ‘really fast’.

Eileen phoned and left a message on my recorder: “I guess you don’t want to talk to me (sigh). Call me tomorrow morning.”
I thought and asked myself quietly, “But why? Why am I wasting my time?”
I think I’m INTO Stacey now.

What counts in science is not being the first to do an experiment but being the first to publish the results.
-Bryan Sykes
The Seven Daughters of Eve

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To Let Off Some Steam

Against the suffering which may come upon one from human relationships the readiest safeguard is voluntary isolation, the happiness of quietness.
-Sigmund Freud
CIVILIZATION AND ITS DISCONTENTS

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 11, 1987
Thursday

It was another “okay” day. There was a fire drill at our building this morning. Everyone had to evacuate. I saw Neil Austin, a former coworker from Pac Bell.
Neil said, “Hey Mike! I talked to Margaret Lai the other day and she said you don’t return her calls.”
“She did?” I asked.
“Yeah, she kept going on and on.”
“I didn’t even know she’d been calling. I know she can be very persistent with a lot of pressure, too.”
Neil laughed, “Yeah, that’s her!”

I did make it to the gym and Scott wasn’t there…yet again. Oh well, I lost my work out buddy—or so it seems. I worked out anyway.

Chris called me and we had a good talk.

Jeff called me and said, “I’m definitely going to stop in San Francisco next Sunday for an hour on my return flight from New York!”
I thought it was pretty ridiculous for me to drive all the way to South San Francisco to see him at the airport for an hour…but we’ll see.

I kept missing Stacey, my new roommate. She leaves me a note and I do the same. It’s like having an invisible roommate. I imagine a lot of relationships are like that.

I telephoned mom.
Mom asked, “Do you think you could return a blender for me to PAYLESS?”
“Yes, but it would be better if I could do it on Friday.”
She got on my case a little bit by saying something about how when she needs a favor I can’t do it. However, I didn’t say “no”. She cooled off. I guess she just had to let off some steam (as we all do at times).

I was home from the gym by 9PM and chose to turn in to bed early. I haven’t called Eileen back. She hasn’t called me either. Such is life. Yawn.

“One writes simply as one feels, such a work is like sunlight radiating from a source of infinite brightness, not like a spark from a fluid struck on iron or stone. This alone is true art. And such a writer alone is a true artist.”
–Lu Xun,
A Happy Family

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Hot Summer Nights

A story should have a beginning, a middle and an end.  But actually, if you think about it, life isn’t like that. Life doesn’t have a neat beginning and a tidy end.  Life is always going on.  You should begin in the middle and end in the middle, and it should all be there.
-V.S. Naipaul
HALF A LIFE

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 10, 1987
Wednesday

Taking the OX express bus to San Francisco is becoming a great venue. I’m allowing my car to rest. It’s great and less expensive that using up all of my gas.

Freddie, Rhoda and I ate at ‘B and M Chinese’.

Rhoda and Steve got on poor Freddie’s case because she cancelled someone’s Yellow Page Advertising before giving the customer a chance. Apparently, Freddie called the customer after a week had passed and received no response to an intent to cancel letter (Poor Freddie).

I had another day of good accomplishments with my work load.

I came home after work and found a note from Stacey. She left some things in her room. I snooped and saw a sexy nightgown sprawled out on the bed. It looks nice. I’d like to see it on her.

I may have talked Sherri into going to Lori’s Wedding Reception this Saturday with my mom and me. She will bring Ashley along, too.
Sherri said, “Stacy doesn’t really have a boyfriend.”
I nonchalantly mentioned, “Well, she goes to some place two nights a week. Maybe it’s a YOGA-related thing or maybe she’s into that EST thing.”
Sherri confessed, “Well, she’s ‘sort of been seeing’ some thirty-five year old guy but I don’t know if it’s really that serious.”
“I don’t know anything about that. I think she’s cute though. I don’t know what I’m going to do on those HOT SUMMER Nights with her under my same roof.”
Sherri laughed and asked, “What if I said she thinks mutually of you?”
That sounded interesting. I wasn’t sure if she was serious or kidding.

I helped my dad out by moving his PINTO because they’re going to restructure dad’s front yard with some cosmetic cement work in a specific area to make the driveway have more space.

I received a postcard from Paloma. She indicated where she is living now. She wants me to send her my telephone number. I don’t think she has my new one. It would be fun to speak to her in France.

I also received a letter from Eileen. I finally broke down and called her. It was clear from her voice that she was so happy to hear from me and doesn’t want to lose me.
She whispered, “Listen…I can’t really talk now because Ann is calling me to help set the table for dinner.”
“Shall I call you around seven-thirty?” I asked.
“That would be PERFECT!”
“Well, I’ll be at the gym.”
“I’m going to BLACK ANGUS with Katrina and another girlfriend tonight.”
I said, “Okay then I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“I can call you later tonight.”
“Okay.”
It’s over between us as far as I’m concerned. We can still be friends but if she doesn’t want a relationship with me…why waste my time? I could hear Carla’s voice, whispering in my ear. She’s too young anyway.
Chris had even said the same thing last night, “She’s too young.”

Stacy seems a lot more mature.
Stacy left a message on my recorder: “I’m OFFICIALLY moving in on Monday.”

I went to the gym and Scott was not around to give inspiration. Could he be leaving early?   Is he avoiding me?

Martin Sheen is the guest host on THE LATE SHOW. It irks me that his son’s Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen got into show biz so easily. It’s nice having familial connections in the movie industry. It’s not always what you know but who you know. I only wish I had some significant connections. I only wish. Alas, only time will tell. It’s time for bed.

Do you ever think while something is happening, about what’s happening someplace else?
-Mitch Albom
FOR ONE MORE DAY

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Waiting Around In The Wings

People tend to complicate their own lives, as if living weren't complicated enough. -Carlos Ruiz Zafon
The Shadow of the Wind, a novel

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 9, 1987
Tuesday

It was just another drab day at work. It was rather sad since I only had two dollars and couldn’t get any money withdrawn from my Patelco Automated Teller Machine. Freddie did treat me to lunch though. That was sweet of her. We ate chicken and fish.

Once I arrived home I splashed water on my face and went over to see dad. He let me borrow fifty-dollars.

I hit the gym and wasn’t really very motivated. Scott wasn’t there. I worked out for about an hour and then went to the CENTURY THEATERS to buy my brother, John, gift certificates for the movies.

When I stopped by John’s to deliver his Birthday gift I was greeted by Ashley. She was so thrilled about seeing me. It was such a nice feeling. She wanted me to read to her, so I did. I read WINNIE THE POOH and SLEEPING BEAUTY.

I came home to take a soothing shower. Then I munched on potato chips and a drank a Diet Dr. Pepper.

Jeff Sombat called me from Hawaii and said, “I may be going to New York for four days.”
“That’s great!”
What else could I say? He had to hang up the phone for work but I called him back.

“Yes, I’m going to New York,” Jeff continued, “I’ll be going from June 17th until June 21st. I’ll let you know if I stop in San Francisco once I get my flight info.”

Johnny called from L.A. also.
“I sent you a tape with the songs TIME TO CRY and THE SWEATER SONG and another one called MICHAEL.”
I said, “Oh wow…sounds like they’ll be worth hearing.”

Chris telephoned and we got into an in-depth conversation.
I disclosed information about my relationship with Eileen.
I said, “It’s funny. You and Eileen have something in common. She wants to date around with other people.”
“Oh…yeah?” Chris asked.
“Yeah, I just explained that I wouldn’t be waiting around in the wings.”
Silence.

If you really want to possess a woman (or man), you must think like her (or him), and the first thing to do is win over her (his) soul. The rest...is a bonus.
-Carlos Ruiz Zafon
The Shadow of the Wind, a novel

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The Hell With It

Everyone feels alone.
Loneliness is a problem as old as time.
Loneliness is and always has been the central problem of human existence.
Loneliness is a given.
-Michael J Armijo
PHILOSOPHICAL STATEMENTS

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 8, 1987
Monday

I had an ‘okay’ day at work. I am so proficient at contending with my many follow-ups.

Carla and I had lunch at the PLAZA DELI. I told her all about my latest episodes with Eileen and she gave me her wise advice.
Carla advised, “Do NOT call that girl again! You’ve been too nice to her and it’s time to shrug her off.”
“You’re right.”
And so, I’m not calling her.

When I arrived home I found another message on my answering machine from Eileen in which she stated, “I need to talk to you. Please give me a call when you get a chance.”

I sent her that one letter. She has yet to respond to it. So ‘the hell with it’…I won’t call her back. I’m taking Carla’s advice.

Chris Cordellos did come over. We went to see THE UNTOUCHABLES. It was really good with some intense scenes…especially with the baby buggy falling down the City Hall steps in slow motion.

Chris ended up taking a lot of my clothes that I didn’t want anymore. He spent the night and I left at my usual 6:45AM time for my express bus to The City. I knew he’d be leaving in a couple of hours for Concord to his hair salon. I didn’t feel worried that I left him alone at my place. I was glad he was taking some of those clothes off my hands. It’s one less thing to do.

"Some things can only be seen in the shadows."
-Carlos Ruiz Zafon
The Shadow of the Wind, a novel

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Being A Nuisance

“What is the basic truth of conspiracy?”
“If it can be imagined, then someone’s already tried it.”
-Olen Steinhauer
THE NEAREST EXIT

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 7, 1987
Sunday

I woke up and did my complete jog along the beach this time. Scott wasn’t around to slow me down. I did run into Birda who was riding along on her bike. She slowed her bike pace to ride along with me as I was jogging. She’s so cool. I really like her. I was wearing my Italian Campagnolo bike racing hat that she gifted me for my Birthday, too.
I asked, “When is your Birthday?”
“August 6th.”
“Oh Wow…that’s two days before my Dad’s.”
As we continued a long I could tell something was bothering her.
“What is it?” I asked.
She finally said, “Oh…My ex is being a nuisance.”
“Oh, well I guess that can be a pain. I’ve got a new roommate named Stacy that my sister in law connected me with…and she’s being a nuisance, too. She hasn’t even moved-in yet.”
Birda laughed.

I returned home after the good jog.  My legs felt tight.

I continued my productivity by clearing out my closets of clothes that I no longer wanted or needed. I did a pretty good job. Mom dropped over and she helped me clean.

I took a break with mom and we went over to her house to have breakfast with dad. I guess he missed us.

We returned to my place and did more work around the house until I finally fell asleep of exhaustion. I probably should have gone for a bike ride but I didn’t have the energy. I figured I’d make up for it sometime during the week.

I wonder if Chris Cordellos forgot about THE UNTOUCHABLES movie for Monday night. I guess I will find out tomorrow.

When I woke from my nap I returned to mom and dad’s house. No one was home. Then mom, dad and Ashley appeared after a visit to the grocery store and McDonald’s. I ate with them until John and Sherri returned from their dinner together. John and Sherri had gone out as a prelude Birthday dinner for John. John’s Birthday is on June 9th. I stayed there a bit longer but I didn’t feel up to watching Part I of an 18 week mini-series on Masterpiece Theater, so I left for my pad.

Once I arrived home I made phone calls to Bonni Jayne Ludovicy, Eileen Grabinsky, Mark Landreth and Sue Miller. None of them were at home. It was clearly time for me to sleep. Yawn.

He had nearly expected failure, but since any good Tourist’s travel plans are often thrown awry, failure didn’t concern him.
-Olen Steinhauer
THE NEAREST EXIT

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When You Find The Time

“Don’t HOPE. Plan, then ACT!”

-Michael J Armijo
PHILOSOPHICAL STATMENTS

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 6, 1987
Saturday

I woke Scott and persuaded him to go jogging with me to the end of the beach. Surprisingly, he couldn’t make it all the way.
Scott explained, “Dang…I know it’s because I’ve never run in these size eight shoes before!”
“It’s cool,” I reassured him, “We can walk the rest of the way back.”

I telephoned mom and change our ‘come over and clean my house together’ date for Sunday. I figured Scott was here and we could hang out together. We ate breakfast at OLE’s WAFFLE SHOP on Park Street. I explained how the waffle place is a landmark in Alameda. He loved it.

After breakfast we drove in to San Francisco where we cruised along South of Market Street, Lombard Street, COIT TOWER, Market Street, St. Francis Residential, Ocean Beach, The Castro vicinity, Van Ness Avenue, Polk Street and on through Geary. I gave him a reasonably good tour of The City.

We continued back to Alameda and lounged at my house for a while and played a game of chess. I lost.

I tried to nap while Scott waited to accept a Collect Call from OHIO.
Once he received the call I drove Scott back to the Naval Base.
Scott said, “I’m hungry again!”
“You are?”
“Yeah!”
“Well, I’m not.”
Needless to say, I just dropped him off and guided myself to a local bookstore. I left after some browsing and drove over to mom and dad’s house. I briefed mom on my day. I showed her the ‘EVERY INCH A LADY” greeting card of a very obese woman clad in a tiny bikini. Mom laughed.
I said, “Scott bought the same card for a friend of his in Ohio. I don’t know who I’m going to send this to…yet.”

I returned home to a phone call from Johnny on my answering recorder. He wasn’t at home, so I left him a message.

I also called Eileen because she was also on my recorder.
In her message she said, “Call me when you find the time.”
I found the time but, of course, she wasn’t home. Yawn.

In deep relationships there has to be a mutual valuing of the other person.
The two people have to want to play an important part in each other’s lives.
-Michael J Armijo
PHILOSOPHICAL STATEMENTS

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The Untouchables

I chose the specialty of surgery because of Matron, that steady presence during my boyhood and adolescence. “What is the hardest thing you can possibly do? She said when I went to her for advice on the darkest day of the first half of my life.

“Why settle for ‘Three Blind Mice’ when you can play the ‘GLORIA’?”
“…Your ‘GLORIA’ lives within you. The greatest sin is not finding it, ignoring what God made possible in you.”
-Abraham Verghese
CUTTING FOR STONE

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 5, 1987
Friday

Chris Cordellos called me and we talked about meeting-up next Monday to see the new movie THE UNTOUCHABLES.

Carla and I ate at Don Miguel’s. After lunch I made a quick visit to my old SDC (Sales Development Center) office at Pacific Bell to see Laverne. The SDC now looks like a maze. The desks are all enclosed now. It does seem more private for the representatives though.

I’ve been taking the bus to work. I am beginning to like this mode of commuting. It requires less brain power and I can concentrate on other things.

During my walk home from the bus stop I ran into Sherri and Ashley who were on a bike ride together.

I made it to the gym and spoke to my old high-school classmate, Dennis Darby, about our forthcoming high-school reunion.
Dennis said, “Yeah, I’m going.”
“Yeah, it should be pretty mind-boggling.”
“Maybe so, but I haven’t changed much…except for gaining a little weight,” Dennis said.
I thought that odd because he wasn’t bald ten years ago.
“At least we’re at the gym,” I agreed.
Dennis added, “I lost about twenty pounds in the last two or three weeks.”

There’s a guy from Alameda High’s Class of 1978 (a year younger than me) that I also recognized at my gym. His name is Cliff Farina. He gained weight, too. He was always tall and slender. Of course, the fact that he is tall helps him. The weight gain isn’t as apparent. I am feeling good about how I am coming along. I just have to continue to maintain my waistline.

Much to my surprise Rachelle Davies appeared at the gym tonight. She looked good when I saw her in the sauna with her bathing suit.
“Why don’t you take the aerobics class tonight?” Rachelle asked.
“Oh, I don’t know…I already worked out.”
“Oh come on,” she persisted.
“I’ll think about it.”
I didn’t take the class.

Scott Lauer (of OHIO) was around. We talked a bit. In fact, we left the gym together and ended up eating at THE WINE RACK in Alameda. We shared a bottle of wine and ate spaghetti and tortellini. It was filling—but good. It was a Friday night, so we ended up going to San Francisco to WOLFGANG’s, a nightclub. Steve Masters, the radio DJ for QUAKE radio, was there.
I asked Steve, “Could you play FREE NELSON MANDELLA” or “TOUR DE FRANCE”?

I met a couple of Scott’s navy pals who were also on the USS ENTERPRISE. Their names were Craig and Rob.

Scott and I took a peak at the FREAK EXECUTIVES band that was playing. We both agreed that they were ‘too loud’ and ‘not so great’.
Craig said, “There’s a LARGE MARGE hanging-out over there.”
I laughed because I never heard that term before (LARGE MARGE).

Scott and I left WOLFGANG’s for another place called THE PALLADIUM. It was a mistake. We blew $7 a piece because we didn’t know it was SOUL NIGHT. It was a disappointment but we stayed for about ten minutes. We decided to head over to North Beach and the BROADWAY area where we started to walk around. We ended up running into Craig and Rob again. Some girl randomly gave me a card to a party at the MARRIOT INN on Columbus.

Scott and I ended up persuading two eighteen year old girls to give us a ride to the hotel.
After Scott mentioned that he was in the Navy, one of the girls said, “My dad is a Sergeant with the San Francisco Police.”

I replied, “Oh, then we’re in good hands.”

They dropped us off at the MARRIOT INN on Columbus and the party was blown off. There was no party! Or if there was a party it had suddenly dissolved by the Hotel Management. We left and cruised around The City until we settled over near the Fisherman’s Wharf area. I saw three little mice run about and it freaked me out! We parked to use the bathroom at PIER 39 and cruised around in the car for a while longer until we decided to split-the-scene.

Scott ended up staying the night at my pad. I didn’t dare ‘make a move’ on him.  He's straight.  He's untouchable.  He slept in the spare guest room where I have all of my postcards posted on the walls.

Every gesture made by a human being is sacred and full of consequences, and that makes me think even more about what I’m doing.
-Paulo Coelho
LIKE THE FLOWING RIVER

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